mistakes
by gabbyromig
Summary: Steph and Lena met when Lena was hurt and Stef was called to the crime scene. Set before Stef and Mike even would have gotten together, or at least in how my mind is setting it up. Im not sure how this is going to go, i have a few scenarios in my mind so it depends on the reviews. Please read and review and i hope you like this sorry for technical difficulties
1. Chapter 1

Lena

Everybody has those moments in there life where they realize they made a mistake, most people have plenty. If you are lucky it's mistakes you can easily fix. Normally there is a few mistakes that you can't undo. Just hope you can live with the regret. My mistake, my life changing mistake is probably going to kill me.

I opened my eyes briefly to see a cop kneeling next to me.

"Ma'am are you ok?" he asked and i tried to talk but i can't.

"Let me handle this ok?" A female cop said to her partner and kneeled next to me taking the place of her partner.

"My name is Stephanie Elkin and we have paramedics on the way you are going to be ok" she said her eyes sympathetic. Ive never heard such amazing news in my life. I might not die.

"What's you're name?" she asked taking care of the wound.

"Lena" i said barely above a whisper.

"You're going to be ok, Lena. I promise" she said.

"No sign of forced entry, we didn't catch him" the other cop said into his walkie talkie.

"her" i said as loudly as i can.

"What?" Stephanie said leaning closer to me so she can hear better.

"You didn't catch her" i corrected and she smiled.

"It's ok ma'am we will" she promised then turned to her partner.

"The suspect is a girl, Williams" she said. Williams corrected his original statement. I closed my eyes not able to keep them open anymore.

Stef

I hate when we get there too late. I hate knowing I failed someone like that. The worst part about my job is seeing the scared look on someones face in what could be their last moments. Lena will pull through is what the doctors are saying. Thank god. She apparently went through surgery fine and is now resting.

It's visiting hours the next day and i went into see her. There was an older couple there and i'm going to assume they are her parents.

"I'm sorry to interrupt i just wanted to see how she is doing" I said and they looked up at me.

"Are you officer Elkin?" the man asked and i smiled at him.

"Yes i am" i stated looking at Lena who is asleep.

"You're the cop that saved our daughter?" the woman said tears in her eyes.

"Oh yes i am" i said being caught off guard, it's something about those words that just made me smile. I saved her.

"Thank you" they said simultaneously. It's moments like this that reminds me why i'm a cop. I'm still a rookie, i've only been working as a cop for about six months, and it's hard to keep in mind why i do it sometimes. I've already had a domestic abuse case where a little girl no more than five was beaten by both her mom and dad and she was so scared it broke my heart. She was fine and her grandma came to get her and she is doing good, or so they say. I always have to remind myself that i do this too help people. I'm scared for the first time i lose someone, or anytime i lose someone, i don't know if i will be able to move on.

"Of course just doing my job" i said and he smiled.

"We're her parents… I'm Stuart Adams and this is my wife Dana Adams" he said and i shook their hands.

"Nice too meet you. How is she?" i asked and she gave me a half smile.

"Doctors say she should be fine shortly. She hasn't woke up yet, but she just got out of surgery a few hours ago." she said and i sighed of relief.

"Oh good, i was worried" i said truthfully. I don't know how i can manage to get so emotionally connected to someone in only a few minutes but i did the same with Penelope, the little girl i was telling you about before.

Her parents looked a little shocked by the sincerity of my words.

"Well it means so much to us that you came by and i know it would mean a lot too Lean too" Stuart says. "Not everybody would bother"

"Of course I needed to make sure she is ok" i said smiling at them both. I looked down at Lena. What is it about her that makes it so hard to think about anything else.

Mike

I ran to catch up with her.

"So what's you're problem?" i asked and she rolled her eyes at me.

"Nothing" she snapped randomly and i put my hands up in surrender.

"Ok than surrender whatever i did i'm sorry" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever"

"Wow someone needs to get laid" i joked and she gave me a death glare. Man she's in a bad mood.

"You have my number?" i asked and winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Fuck off" she said then walked away slamming the door in my face. Me and Steph have been friends for six years, ever since high school. We have a weird way of joking with each other. It's not unusual for her too flip me off, tell me too fuck off or make an insulting joke but i could tell she was actually pissed. It's very rare she gets pissed at me, like actually pissed, and i don't know what i did to deserve it. I'm used too girls being pissed at me (and me having no idea why) but Steph isn't one of those girls she's pretty straight forward.

"Ok i'm sorry" i said sitting next to her.

"I'm not your bitch, Michael. Don't just apologize when you have know idea what you did" she said and i'm confused.

"I thought thats what you're suppose to do" i said and she laughed rolling her eyes.

"Other girls yes, but not me. Like i said i'm not your bitch" she said smiling evilly.

"Ok so what did i do than" i asked and she rolled her eyes.

"You're hopeless, don't talk too me like that here" she said and i tried to figure out why.

"I told you not too talk too like i'm a girl here" i said and i laughed.

"Oh sorry thats right… you know there's a good chance all it will do is start a transgender rumor right" i warned her. She flipped me off and i just laughed.

Lena

I looked around the room and attempted to make out my surroundings. I'm in a hospital bed and i'm currently alone. I tried to think back on what happened only too have my head hurt worse. I must of hit my head or something. I feel like I've been hit by a train.

Where is everybody? How long have i been out? What happened?

A nurse walked in and smiled at the sight of me awake.

"Hello, Miss Adams. My name is Gina Matthews, i'm your nurse. How are you feeling?" she explained.

"Too be honest not good. What happened to me?" i asked and she smiled at me.

"Do you remember anything?" she asked pulling up a seat next to my bed.

"No!" i said honestly.

"Well ma'am i'm sorry to tell you this but you were stabbed and beaten up pretty badly" she said and i tried to remember but it's a blur. Stabbed? Who stabbed me?

"Stabbed?" i asked and she gave me a reassuring smile.

"Yes ma'am i'm sorry but unfortunately you were. I was told that it was a domestic violence case" she said cautiously. Domestic violence? That has to be a mistake. She loves me, she wouldn't hurt me let alone stab me.

"How long have i been out?" i asked trying to wrap my head around it. Who stabbed me, and why are they saying Alisha did it.

"About 16 hours since you got out from surgery…" she said and i guess from my glare she knew too keep explaining.

"...You soured though it. You have two broken ribs, a concussion, and you were stabbed where you didn't damage any organs." she said as i looked down at the patch on my right side right under my lungs.

"It will take a while to heal but we believe you are going to make a full recovery. Memory loss is normal at this point especially since you also suffered a concussion with time you should remember it again. For now just rest" she said.

"Did someone call my family?" i asked.

"Oh sorry… yes we called your mom and dad. They were in here for visiting hours today, they should be in tomorrow" she said.

Dana

I never trusted Alisha. I knew that Lena loved her but was never fully convinced it was mutual. When i would say something too Lena she would always deny it. Love is blind, i guess. I knew it wasn't mutual the day i saw what she did too her. She might be lighter skinned than me but she's still biracial, so naturally she doesn't bruise easily. It probably went on for months before her skin showed it. Her friend Jenna, who i always trusted and secretly wished they would get together, called me up and told me that she believes Lena was being abused. I came out and she had a cut on her lip from being punched. When i questioned her she made stuff up, i think more to convince herself than me, and i never believed a word. Me and Frank tried so hard to get her out of that relationship but she wouldn't do it. She didn't see what her girlfriend was doing too her, or she choose not to see, she only saw the good stuff. I was scared too death that she was going to seriously hurt Lena. That she wouldn't see it until it's too late, unfortunately i was right.

**Hey, my last day of school was today so now starts a lot of free time to write. I haven't been writing as much as i normally do so i'm going to use the summer too write and maybe even go back and bring some stories back from the dead. Maybe, it's a long shot but there's a chance. I promise i will have the next chapter too "Oh Brother" up soon. Thanks too all my loyal fans who stuck with me despite me not really writing. School was almost the death of me. Anyways i hope you like it and thank you for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

Lena

I saw the anger in her eyes and it scared me. I want out of this relationship so bad. I realize now that everyone was right. I need to get out of it, now.

"No… we are not breaking up" she yelled and i tried to keep my face from showing any fear. I can't show weakness right now.

"Yes we are i have had enough and i'm done" i said and i braced myself for whatever she is about to do. She started laughing instead.

"Is this a joke? You're cute when you act all tough" she said and i tried to keep my face as emotionless as possible.

"No i'm done, Alisha" i said hoping she will take me serious. Her facial expression changed back to anger.

"Are you screwing someone else?" she said though her teeth.

"What no" i said, is she really accusing me of having an affair.

"What the hell happened than? We can't break up you know i love you"

"We are done" i said and she lost it. She hit me across the face and grabbed my hand.

"We are not fucking breaking up" she yelled gripping my arm tighter.

"Stop it that hurts" i said and she let go of my arm.

"We aren't breaking up" she yelled and i shook my head. She's not going to control me anymore. I can't do this anymore.

"Yes we are" i shouted back. Before i knew it i felt a stabbing pain in my side and looked down and saw a knife in my side. She saw it too and looked shocked.

"Shit" she yelled letting go of the knife and backing up. I fell too the floor as she turned and ran out of the house, leaving me to die alone.

I woke up startled and tried to calm down. I sweated through my shirt and was shaking badly. The beeps signaling my heart is still beating has sped up dramatically. Enough that my nurse came in to check on me.

"I'm fine" i said not wanting company. Thats a lie i want someone here with me but i want someone i know. I want too see my parents, and my friends or anyone that i know other than someone thats getting paid too make sure i don't die.

Stef

I feel terrible i have only been around Lena for a few minutes after she was stabbed and now i have to go and ask her for her testimony. I feel bad for her but i have to go and get her testimony.

Lena

About an hour later my parents showed up for visiting hours. I felt like crying i was so glad too see them.

"Oh honey are you ok?" my dad said sitting next too me and taking my hand. I never thought such a simple hand hold could make me feel so much better but it did.

My mom sat on the other side of me and gave me a sad smile. I think this is the longest my mom has ever gone without criticizing something about me. I know she was for once right when she criticized my relationship with Alisha. I guess i should have listened to her. I guess i should have listened to everyone.

"No i remember it now, everything" i said looking up at dad. I have always been closer to him. I remember all the days where after a heart break we would watch movies until we pass out at like 2 in the morning surrounded by more junk food than you should eat in a month.

"Why didn't i see it sooner?" i asked and my dad kissed my forehead.

"Honey… it's ok. The cops are going to arrest her and she wouldn't bug you again" my mom promised.

Stef

I watched as she was talking with her parents and i smiled. I can't do this too her right now. I turned around and went back into the waiting room. I can't interrupt them, they deserve to be together right now. She needs her parents. I'll wait a bit before going back to her. When is it ok to go and interrupt them.

After a half an hour i went to go back up, i feel bad going up but i need too get it sometime. I walked up too see her and her parents talking, she looked so relaxed.

"Hey i hate to interrupt" i said walking in.

"Oh no you're good" Stuart said and Lena looked at me. I could tell she immediately recognized me.

"Umm… i hate to ask but I need your testimony if you remember anything" i said knowing some trauma victims especially ones who suffered a concussion, take a while before they remember anything from it.

"Oh yeah… i can do that" she said and i guess she remembers it.

"Do my parents need to leave?" she asked and i can tell really didn't want them too.

"Oh no they are good as long as they don't interfere with what you say" i lied. They are suppose to leave. I looked over at Stuart and Dana and they both nodded.

"Thank you" she said smiling at me. I'm sure they realize that i'm bending rules for her.

"Yeah" i sat next to her.

"Tell me what you remember" i said and she sighed.

"I've been with Alisha for three years and recently she has become abusive" she said like confessing a long kept secret. Her shameful look told me she really didn't want to admit to it.

"I told her i wanted to break up and she lost it. She got mad and randomly started laughing thinking it was some kind of joke. She was bipolar and always 'forgot' to take her medicine. When i insisted i wasn't joking she got pissed again, she accused me of having an affair…" she started her eyes trained on me. It seems as though she doesn't want too look at her parents.

Lena

I avoided making eye contact with my parents while giving my testimony, i didn't want too see there reaction. I never told them Alisha was bipolar, when they would come out i made her take her medicine.

Flashback

She rolled her eyes and I bit my lip, i hate when she acts like this.

"No i'm not taking the fucking pills" she yelled. Why is everything such a big deal with her.

"Just take them and stop swearing" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh i'm sorry little miss perfect" she said and i sighed.

"My parents are coming out" i told her and she smiled.

"Yeah i heard you the first time, why should i take the pills?" she sassed. She acts like a teenager sometimes i swear.

"Because you are suppose to take them anyways… and i don't want my parents too see you like this" i yelled.

"Like what?" she yelled pissed.

"Like not the person i fell for… I hate how you act when you don't take them. It's not you" i said and she sighed her mood changing.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I promise to take them from now on" she promised kissing my cheek.

"I'm sorry i'm such an ass too you sometimes… that changes now"

Present

Officer Elkin's voice ripped back to the present,"Ma'am you ok?"

"Uh… yeah." i said realizing i zoned out for a bit there and thought back to where i left off.

"Fine… um anyways I told her i wasn't having an affair she told me that we weren't breaking up. I insisted and she hit me and grabbed my arm forcefully. She told me we aren't breaking up and yet again i insisted and she stabbed me and than left" i said trying to keep my emotions from coming up. She smiled at me.

"Thank you, ma'am. If you think of anything else call us. We have cops posted outside the hospital for your protection. We will catch her, I promise. Get better" she said smiling at me and than left.

"You ok" my dad asked taking my hand again.

"Yeah just a long day" i said even though i only woke up two hours or so ago.

Once visiting hours are done i was flipping through channels bored, even though my parents and Jenna and Kelly brought my stuff down, when i got a call. I answered it absent mindedly.

"Hey honey how are you i'm so worried about you" Alisha said freezing me in panic.

**Please review and let me know what you think.**


	3. Chapter 3

Lena

I hung up as quickly as i could and called the police.

"Hi it's Lena Adams i just got a call from Alisha" i said once a cop picked up.

"We will track her phone" he said. "We should be able to find her from there"

Well thats a relief, I just wish Stephanie picked up. It's something about her that calms me down immediately.

"Ok… thank you" i said.

"Call us if anything else comes up" he said and then hung up. I sat impatiently waiting to hear from them while trying to ignore the throbbing pain from my wound. The pain meds are helping some but it's still throbbing like crazy and my head is killing me. After a little over an hour i got a call back from the same number i called earlier.

"Hey it's officer David Conner i wanted to let you know that we caught her and she is going to be in jail and can't hurt you anymore" he said and i was just so glad to hear they caught her.

Stef

I don't know why i'm obsessing over her. She's going to be ok and we caught her so it's not even the idea that i failed her. Speaking of the fact that we caught her i know David called her and let her know that we caught Alisha so my excuse to go see her is taken from me.

"Hey you going to the bar tonight?' Mike asked.

"Bar?" i asked.

"Yeah you know that place where normal people over 21 consume alcohol" he said and i rolled my eyes. I'm not huge drinker but when i do drink too get drunk it normally never ends well.

"Not tonight… i'm going down too check on Lena" i said and he laughed.

"Do you have a crush on her or something?" he asked and i rolled my eyes. "I mean i know you were serious about coming across as a boy at work but don't you think this is a little too far" he teased.

"You are hilarious… and no i'm just worried about her is all" i said.

"She's going to be ok" he said.

"I know it's just i was with her when she thought she was going to die, and i saw they look on her face that told me i was her last hope." i said and he nodded.

"I get it… you really bond with people in situations like that. Tell her i hope she gets better" he said and i smiled. It's rare when Mike gets completely serious but when we have cases like this or worse he gets serious. I know he loves this job as much as i do.

Lena

I was drifting in and out of sleep for about an hour when i heard a slight knock on the door. It's not closed so normally a nurse would just walk in, so who's at my door.

"Come in" i said maybe it's just a nurse and she wanted to announce she's coming in.

"Hey honey how you feeling" Alisha said walking in. I was frozen in panic. Part of me knows i need to yell for a nurse or something but the other side of me couldn't get my mouth too work.

"ive been so worried about you" she said sitting on my bed and moving the hair from my face.

"I missed you i know you are probably angry at me for not showing up before… after all my baby is in the hospital. I tried, i really tried to get her before now… but you know..." she said and hugged me kissing me on the cheek.

I woke up too my own screaming and felt arms holding me. No it can't be Alisha, it can't be.

"Hey you're ok… it's me Stephanie Elkin" she said and i opened my eyes to see Stef holding me because i had a death grip on her purple shirt. I got a sense of my surroundings and let go of her shirt.

"Sorry" i said sitting up but she didn't move.

"You alright?" she asked looking concerned.

"Bad dream…" i said honestly and she gave me a sad smile. I'm sure she's pitying me right now.

"You want to talk about it" she said and i tried to think of why she is here. They caught Alisha, right? So why would she have to be here.

"Oh no i'm good. Um is there something you need" i said as politely as i can do right now.

"Oh… no i just wanted to check in on you see if you are ok" she said and i tried to figure out why she would do that. Pity?

"You don't have to do that." i said and she looked like she didn't know what to say.

"Oh yeah i know, i wanted too. I didn't really want you to be alone." she admitted and she seemed like she generally cared.

"Wow… not all cops would do that" i said simply.

"I'm not like all cops… if you want me to leave i will" she said as if she realized i might not want her here.

"No… no… i'm really happy you are here actually. I could use the company" i said truthfully. I could use the distraction from everything right now and i feel like she will be a good distraction.

"Ok…" she started awkwardly.

"Well i don't know anything about you so…" i said.

"Oh right… well I'm 23. I just started working as a cop sixth months ago. I'm single and content with it…" she said and i laughed trying to ignore the pain in my side. It's rare that people are honestly happy being single and it's nice that she's happy without someone else.

"Nice…" i said.

"... Who needs men" she said and i smiled. Well that answers that question. Guess she is straight. Not that it matters i'm nowhere near ready for a relationship. I just thought that her coming here so i wasn't alone was a bit flirtatious, i mean it sounds it what was i suppose too think.

"...anyways tell me about you?" she said.

"Well i'm still in college trying to get a degree in teaching so i can be a math teacher one day…" i said and she shook her head.

"Oh i never would peg you as going for a math teacher… they're normally evil" she said and i laughed trying to figure out what she meant by that.

"What?"

"Math is evil so logically…" she trailed off.

"Math is evil? A bit of an over exaggeration don't you think?" i said and she shook her head confidently.

"Nope… it made my high school years hell. Especially algebra, why would you throw the alphabet in there too? Besides every math teacher i had hated me" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure they didn't hate you… but i'm also sure you were a trouble maker." i said and she laughed.

"Oh yes send me too the principals office now" she joked.

"yeah i was… I used too circle X if i didn't know how to solve the problems that asked me to find X and argue when the teacher marked it wrong…"

"Well what did you expect?"

"I found X! Thats all the problem asked for. The worst thing i ever did was when the teacher wasn't in class briefly i erased her lesson and wrote a short childs story instead" i said and she laughed.

"Thats terrible."

"No it was hilarious besides the baby giraffe found his family in the end so no it was actually a pretty touching story. She didn't appreciate my story, she erased it and gave me a detention" she said and i laughed.

"Did she at least read it first?" i asked. If i student were to go through that much trouble too mess with me, despite being mad and frustrated, i would still read the story out of curiosity.

"No she was an angry old woman… " she said.

"Anyways so you're still in college…" she said.

"Uh yeah I just got done being a student teacher and now i'm working as a waitress in an attempt to make some money" i said and she smiled.

"Yeah i tried college but ended up dropping out a year in because i realized i wanted to be a police officer and i didn't need a college education to do so, so why pay for it" she said. I tried to think of something to say that doesn't have anything to do with how we met.

"You're parents seem nice by the way"she said.

"Oh yeah well my mom is being good because of me being in the hospital she's normally not like this" i said and she gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Oh she's critical she thinks she knows best and anyone disagrees with her is wrong. Normally it's over the stupidest things" i said and she smiled.

"Yeah parents can be that way… my dad is so stubborn. I mean so am i so it caused some tension when i was a teenager." i said and she laughed.

"Yeah well it would be unnatural for a teenager too get along with her parents. I never had a problem with my dad but my mom and me fought constantly when i was a teen. I remember the one time i got so mad at her and ran away with my girlfriend. We didn't even leave town, half the time i was just around the corner and she just didn't see me" i said laughing with her.

"She always said I had a terrible taste in women… guess she can be right sometimes" i said and she held my glare.

"Can't help who you fall for" she said and i felt myself get lost in her eyes. There's definitely something about her. She makes an amazing distraction.

"Yeah i have too get it right eventually" i said hopefully finally looking away from her eyes.

"Yeah thats what you have too keep telling yourself" Stef said and then grabbed her stuff quickly.

"Shit i should go" she said.

"What?"

"It's not visiting hours and i'm not family, i'm not suppose too be here. I'll see you later" she said and kissed me on the cheek. She snuck in to see me?

"You snuck in?" i asked shocked. Why is this one of the sweetest things someones done for me.

"Yeah it's not hard, besides no harm done" she said and i laughed.

"You're leading a double life Officer Elkin" i joked and she laughed.

"You got me… get some rest you need it" she said before making sure the coast was clear and than left. I smiled. Why am i feeling this way for her?

**Hey let me know what you think. Each review makes me day. Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

Stef

We were doing our normal route and it's been an uneventful day. He turned around too me, cup of coffee in his hand.

"So are you going to tell me about your date with Lena?" he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Oh yeah i snuck in with some chinese food and before long we were fucking in her hospital bed. Is that what you want to hear?" he laughed.

"Yes very much so." he joked and i gave him a disgusted look.

"Men" i said stopping at the red light.

"Lesbians in denial" he teased and i flipped him off.

"Yeah you're hilarious asshole" i said but something in his words rang true. 'Well it's official the girl who hates me at the coffee shop is slipping me something. Maybe i shouldn't be driving' i thought pushing my original idea aside.

'I'm not that much of a stereotypical female cop, although i could go for a donut right now'

"Is the closet roomy at least?" he asked and i laughed.

"Very… i got a popcorn machine, a nice bean bag chair a t.v where i can watch some movies. It's actually whether cozy, really" i joked.

"Nice. So what actually happened?" he asked.

"I snuck in we talked for a bit and then i left" I explained.

"Oh fun" he said.

"So you get a second date?" he asked.

"Definitely. I know more about women than you do" i said. I can't count how many times he would complain about a situation with some girl and i will find a way to get him out of it. He's not the best at relationships but he plays it off as if he's the pro.

"I would hope so. You are one, well in theory" he teased.

"Oh yes you are a charmer." i said. I can't help but take a second too humor the idea. Am i a lesbian?

Lena

I don't know if it is just the chaos of everything. If it's just my attempt to distract myself from the current situation but i can't get Stef out of my mind. I know i need too and i will. After all there is no way my mind is really already completely over Alisha, right? Either way she's straight. She couldn't possibly feel the same for me.

Jenna and Kelly walked in and i smiled at them.

"You ok?" Jenna asked sitting next to me.

"Yeah just lost in thought" i explained leaning my head back against the wall.

"You need to get Alisha out of your mind" she said which got Alisha on my mind.

Flashback

She came home and kissed me on the lips looking like someone just paid her a million dollars.

"I love you" she said almost in a sing-song voice.

"I love you too" i mimicked her tone of voice and she laughed.

"You're in a good mood" i stated and she smiled.

"It's hard not to be when i got promoted" she said and i smiled.

"O my god thats amazing" i said hugging her.

"Yes it is, so go put a sexy dress on and get ready because we are going out" she announced and i obeyed. It's days like this that are my favorite. Those days where she's in a good mood, and not a good mood as in a 'i feel bad about what happened last night so let me get you flowers and take you out too a nice restaurant' mood.

She walked up stairs and wrapped her arms around me.  
"You're beautiful" she said…

Present

"Lena" Jenna said snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Sorry" i said coming back from my trance.

"Oh honey you will be ok. We just need to get you a new girl, and some ice cream." i laughed. Ice cream sounds great right now.

"Right well i'm not ready to date but you can double the order of ice cream too make up for it" i said.

"Well when you get out of here tomorrow we are going to be hooking you up. Don't worry we already started looking for someone for you" she said as if that was suppose to be a relief. The getting out tomorrow part was through. I finally get out of here. Ive been here for four days and it's been the longest four days of my life.

"I'm not ready to date yet" i said and Jenna sighed.

"Alright but you are letting us hook you up when you are ready" Jenna said and i sighed. 'Let them believe what they want'

"Fine whatever you want to tell yourself" i said giving up.

Jenna

I'm so worried about her. I know it's going to take a while before she's ready to date again. I'm just worried she won't get over her. Or worse she gets over her and finds someone just like her. Would she be smart enough to get out of it before it's too late if it happens again? Me, Kelly, a bunch of Lenas friends and her parents were trying so hard to get her out of her relationship with Alisha before this happened. Unfortunately we failed. The goal now is to get her to get over Alisha and keep her away from people like Alisha.

"What are we going to do with her?" i asked and Kelly laughed.

"We need to help her heal and give her space." she said.

"She needs us" i argued.

"Yes she needs us but she also needs us not to suffocate her. Ok? It needs to be a balance act. We need to be here for her but not overbearingly so. We can't control who she goes out with" she said logically and unfortunately she is right.

"I know. I just hate the idea of her ending up in the same situation" i said honestly.

"She's not stupid, love" Kelly said.

"Of course not, but she's a people pleaser. She will do anything to please other people and will forget about herself." i said matter-of-factly.I have known Lena since we went to high school together and we have been best friends ever since.

"Well we will figure it out when it happens." she said.

"Alright." i surrendered.

"Besides she's staying here after she leaves the hospital whether she likes it or not" she said and i smiled.

"Yeah well i don't know where else she would go" i said. She moved in with Alisha a year and a half ago and so now she doesn't really have a place to live. She is going to live here for a bit and when she feels ready to move out we will help her find an apartment and get back on her feet. We have a spare room set up for her already and we already pretty much moved her in. Thanks to friends and her parents we already got almost all of her stuff from the apartment she had with Alisha. Me and Kelly will be getting the rest of it tomorrow before moving her in. We wanted her to come home from the hospital too a place that could feel as much like home as possible.

Lena

I called her up and smiled when she answered.

"Hey is everything alright?" she asked concerned.

"Oh yeah sorry didn't mean too worry you just wanted to talk too you. I'm kind of bored" i admitted and she laughed.

"I'm glad you called. I'm bored too and wanted to call you but thought you might be resting." she said and for some reason the thought of her wanting too call me made my heart flutter.

"Yeah guess what?" i said.

"What?"

"I get out tomorrow" i said excitedly.

"Thats great. Where are you staying?" she asked.

"With my friends Jenna and Kelly they have a room set up for me" i said.

"Thats nice of them."

"Yeah they are already talking about setting me up, crazy right? I'm no where near ready to date again." i said and she laughed.

"Can't blame ya." she said.

"Yeah at least i have a place too got too. Too be honest i don't want to be living alone for a long time."

"I wouldn't want too either." she said. "I'm glad you are going home, we should really hang out when you are feeling better"

"I would love that" i said honestly.

The next day

I can't believe they have me completely moved in, thats so sweet.

"Thank you" i said hugging them both.

"Of course our house is your house." Jenna said.

Jenna

I woke up too the sound of Lena screaming. I got up quickly and ran to her room with Kelly following shortly behind me. Lena was sitting up on her bed now awake and it was obvious she had a bad dream. Guess we are going to have too get used to it.

"Hey what happened?" i asked sitting on the bed with her and so did Kelly.

"Sorry i woke you. I just had a bad dream" she said.

"We can see that. What was the dream about" Kelly said giving Lena a sympathetic look.

"It was the same dream i had in the hospital, about Alisha" she said slowly.

"It's ok" i said putting my hand on hers. I looked over at Kelly and she returned my look. This is going to be harder than we thought.

**Let me know what you think and if you want to see something happen either message me or leave it in a review and i might be able to make it work in the story.**


	5. Chapter 5

Stef

It's been a week since Lena has gone home from the hospital and we have talked on the phone every night since. I have yet to hang out with her though because even though she's doing great she hasn't been quite ready to go anywhere. I called her and at the third ring she picked up.

"Hello" she said and her voice sounds different.

"Lena?" i asked and who ever it was laughed.

"Oh i'm sorry this is her friend Jenna me and Lena have the same phone so i thought it was mine. She's in the shower but i can tell her you called, who is this?" she asked and i was a little disappointed.

"Oh Stef… tell her too call me back" i said and she gasped.

"Wait Stef as in Officer Stephanie Elkin? The one who saved her?" she asked intrigued. I smiled.

"Uh yeah thats me."

"So you two talk often?" she asked and i'm trying to figure out what's going on. She's almost acting like she wants to set us up.

"Oh yeah we talk everyday" i said.

"Thats nice. She really needs that right now. I should make sure she knows she can have guest over, I'm sure she would love too see you in person." she said and i smiled. I would love to see her too.

"Well i would too see her too" i said and tried to think of how that sounds.

"We have become great friends since i met her" i said hoping that will take it down a notch.

"Yeah well i'll tell her to call you and talk about you coming over." i said good bye and hung up. Part of me feels like i've just been set up on a date. The other part feels like a kid set up on a play date.

Lena

I got out of the shower and Jenna came up too me giving me a look like she did something she knows i'm not going to be happy about which makes her happy.

"So i talked too you're girlfriend she seems nice" she said evil smile still across her face like the chesire cat. Girlfriend?

"I don't have a girlfriend" i denied and she just laughed.

"Calm down i meant girlfriend as in friend that happens to be female. Officer Stephanie Elkin? You should invite her over. Call her back" she said handing me back my phone.

"You don't give up do you?" i yelled after her and she laughed. I went back into my room and changed into pajamas. I called her back once i was dressed and got enough water out of my hair too not be dripping.

"Hey i heard you called and unfortunately got Jenna" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah she seems nice." she said.

"She is but she also got bad intentions in mind" i said.

"What do you mean?" she asked slightly confused.

"Oh she thinks she's going to set us up. Don't worry she will give up"i said a little awkwardly. What if she thinks i'm in too her? What if she's in too me and i just made her think i'm not in too her? Am I in too her?

"Oh" she said awkwardly.

"Is that why she's trying too get me to come over?" she asked. I swear she's going to get hell for this.

"Probably. Every one assumes that if you are a lesbian and friends with a girl you are either with them or want to be. It's ridiculous" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah i'm sure that has too get annoying" she said and i can't help but read into her words. 'I'm sure' that means she is straight. Me and Stef haven't talked much about sexuality. She hasn't talked to me about boys yet either. I guess her i'm single and content with it was true.

"It does."

"So i kind of assumed that Jenna and Kelly were gay together since they live together…" she said.

"Oh they are."

"Oh and they are assuming you are the stereotypical lesbian" she said laughing.

"Yeah she's just scared when i start to date i will be with someone like Alisha, so she's trying to take matters into her own hands." i said awkwardly.

"I can't blame her for worrying about you. I would like to interrogate her too and trust me i'm good at it" she said and i laughed. I'm sure she is, it's not part of her job or anything.

"I'm sure you are." i said not overlooking the fact that she sounds like even the thought of me dating again got her to go all protective over me

"So she's really following stereotypes, assuming i'm trustworthy because i'm a cop" she said i laughed.

"Yeah well i'm thinking you are trustworthy too." i said.

"Ok maybe a little bit." she said.

"Yeah well maybe you should come over here for a bit. If you want too, i mean. It gets kinda boring." I said stumbling over my words. What am i fifteen?

"I would love too" she said and my heart fluttered. I wish it would stop.

"Great… you free tomorrow" i asked.

"Yeah tomorrow sounds great… you're friend going to set us up a nice candle lit dinner" she teased.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they did" i said honestly.

Kelly

I walked out to find my girlfriend of two years setting up a romantic dinner.

"Oh honey, what's the occasion" i said and she laughed.

"It's not for us" she said ruining it.

"Ok that ruins the moment" i said and she smiled.

"Sorry babe, it's a prank on Lena" she said and i'm now intrigued.

"What type of prank?"

"Well Lena and her friend, Stephanie Elkin. Officer Stephanie Elkin" she said too key me in on who she was talking about.

"Are going to be here tonight and well they obviously like each other so i'm going to help them get the spark flying. Besides it will be good for her, to get her mind off tomorrow" she said and i sighed.

"Honey she is going to kill you" i said and she laughed.

"She will thank me later" she said.

Stef

I was joking when i asked if there was going to be a candlelit dinner but when i got there, there was a legit candle lit dinner. Lena obviously just got downstairs because she was as surprised as i was.

"Jenna" Lena said giving her friend the death glare.

"We have company don't be rude" she said.

"I'm sorry, she finds this hilarious" she said and Jenna laughed.

"I'm Jenna Carter and this is my girlfriend Kelly Richards" she said and I shook their hands.

"Nice to meet you" I said.

"you to"

"Well we have a reservation at a nice restaurant so we should be going. Have fun" she said winking at Lena.

"I'm sorry about them. " she said once they left.

"it's ok. Did they at least make us a good meal?" She asked.

"I don't know lets see" i said and we walked into the kitchen.

"Chicken alfredo" i said smiling. At least they made something good.

"Awesome i love chicken alfredo" she said and i smiled.

"Good. Well it's done so if you're hungry we can eat" i said and she smiled.

"Great i'm starving too be honest." she said.

"Well they put enough candle out too set a fire" i said starting to blow them out.

"Yeah really" she said and blew out the rest. We set up are plates and both sat down to eat.

"Well you're friend is a really good cook" she said.

"Yeah she is. She's normally a huge health nut so this is weird for her." i said and she smiled.

"She goes out of her way to set up a nice practical joke. Best 'date' i've been on in forever" she said.

"Aha so you do date" i said and she laughed.

"Occasionally, i might be content with being single but i can appreciate a good free meal."

"Oh I'm sure all the guys love you" I said and bit my lip. Am I flirting?

"Not really I think they are intimidated by me. " She said and I laughed.

"I'm sure they are, some guys can't handle a woman with a gun and badge"

"Oh men. " She said. "Who needs 'em"

"Nobody" I commented. I tried to suppress a yawn but failed as a wave of exhaustion hit me.

"Tired?" she asked.

"Yeah didn't sleep well last night" i said casually.

"You didn't have that nightmare again, did you?" she asked and she looked worried. "you know the one you had in the hospital."

"Oh um… yeah it's not a big deal i'm fine." i said but she gave me a look telling me she's not buying it. She put her hand on top of mine rubbing her thumb against the back of my hand.

"You don't always have to be fine, Lena." she said and met my eyes. Her stare melted me.

"Um… i had a dream that she came back" i admitted not breaking our glare.

She sighed,"Oh honey why didn't you say something before." Honey? Is she flirting or is she just one of those girls who calls everyone honey? This is definitely the first time she's called me honey.

I didn't say anything, i just held her tilted her head to one side looking like she was trying to figure out how to help me.

"Is that the same dream you had in the hospital?" she asked not really holding my hand but looking like she wanted too. Her hand was now wrapped around mine, squeezing it. My heart won't stop fluttering.

I nodded a yes and she sighed moving closer to me her hand now resting on my arm.

"She's in prison and after tomorrow will be for twenty years to life. She can't hurt you anymore and she's never coming back again. You're safe" she promised and before i realized what was happening she leaned in and kissed me. I pulled away as soon as i came to my senses. I can't do this, not yet. I like her but this is too soon. That kiss was amazing but i need time.

"Uh… I'm sorry… I shouldn't have" Stef stumbled looking as shocked as i was.

"No it's ok… I just need time, Stef. I'm not ready for this yet." i said honesty.

"I know you do. I'm sorry i did that." she said.

"Um i guess i should be going… i'll see you at court tomorrow." she said kissing my cheek and then heading out.

**Let me know what you are thinking. I'm sure a good portion of you are frustrated that Lena needs time. Next chapter is the court date.**


	6. Chapter 6

Stef

I walked into Mike's apartment since the door was unlocked and he glared at me. I have a bad habit of just walking in but we have been friends long enough for me not to care. He always says that he might be doing something i don't want to walk in on and i remind him i've seen it all over the years we have been friends.

"Learn to knock, normal people knock" he complained.

"Hey you're wearing pants today, it's like you knew i was coming" i said and he rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asked and i laughed.

"Nice too see you too" i said and he shook his head.

"You walk into my house unannounced you can't expect manners" he argued.

"Ok fine, i need too talk too you"

"About?" he asked picking up the bottle of beer.

"I would love one, thank you" i said gesturing to the beer acting like he asked. He sighed and grabbed me one and handed me a beer.

"What happened? You randomly come too my house and demand a beer i better get a good story" he said and i groaned.

"You're grumpy today. Did i interrupt something?" i joked and he glared at me and i laughed.

"Of course i didn't. Anyways… i kissed Lena" i said and he gave me a look like 'wait you're shitting me right'

"You did what?" he asked and i took a long sip of beer. I'm kind of surprised i'm not freaking out right now. I'm surprisingly calm, i don't think it's really dawned on me yet.

"I kissed her… I don't know it just happened." i explained and he laughed.

"Wow… you really do like her don't you?" he asked only slightly shocked.

"I knew you had a crush on her"

"This doesn't mean anything…" i started and it started to dawn on me. What if i do like her? I could lose my family and friends.

"... Ok whatever you want to tell yourself" he said.

"Michael!" i yelled.

"Did you like it?" he asked and i finished my beer. He went to the fridge and got me another one.

"Looks like thats a yes, you're going to need more than one" he said handing me another one.

"Thanks" i took another sip and looked at him.

"I can't be gay" i argued and he sighed.

"Stef i have listened too you talk about her almost obsessively for almost two weeks now. I might not be an expert on girls but to me that sounds like you have feelings for her." he said and i downed the rest of the beer.

"Ok I guess you are staying the night" he said getting up.

"You know where the guest room is?" he asked and i nodded. "I'll get you a big shirt you can sleep in tonight. I'll take you home tomorrow"

Mike

I didn't see Stef kissing Lena coming or at least not yet. I've known Stef for sixth years and have humored the idea of her being at least bi many times. After all when i met her she was seventeen and she just got out of the Tess Brown situation and her dad made her go too see a youth minister too 'talk the gay out of her' in a sense. If she's gay thats a good enough reason to be closeted even to herself. Besides i know she likes Lena, i can see it every time she talks about her.

I know that she's not nearly drunk when she only has two beers but she's upset so she shouldn't be driving. Besides if she gets pulled over she would get a DUI, and thats the last thing she needs. I can tell she has a lot on her mind by the fact that she didn't argue. She's too lost in thought or numb by it all too argue which is another reason she shouldn't be alone.

Lena

I've been dreading today since i figured out it was the court date. I don't know if i'm ready to see Alisha yet. What if she talks to me, what would i say? My lawyer has already told me if she tries too talk too me or contact me in anyway i'm not suppose too say anything and i'm suppose to come to him immediately. I just can't believe i'm now testifying against her. For almost killing me? It seems so surreal. What happened to the Alisha i loved? The Alisha who would call me randomly just too talk. The Alisha that would insist on kissing me or holding my hand in public even when it scared me because she insisted i was safe with her. Safe? It's sickeningly ironic now, but i truly felt safe with her back then. Before our relationship took a turn for the worst.

The sad thing is i real probably never feel truly safe with anyone again. It just seems impossible to trust anyone again. I have feelings for Stef and i know she has feelings for me too but it's so hard to trust now. Deep down i know she's trustworthy but i just can't seem to do it. I'm just too scared.

Stef

The next day Mike drove me home and i got ready for court. My mind just couldn't get off of Lena. I'm so worried about her. What if it's too soon for her too see Alisha?

When we were in court I looked at her and got angry when i saw Alisha staring at her. Lena was trying to avoid her gaze but i can tell she was breaking under it. I hate her so much. How could anyone do that too Lena? She didn't deserve it, not saying anyone does, but Lena especially didn't. I hope Alisha doesn't only got to jail for life but also goes to hell for an eternity.

Williams was the cop that escorted Alisha here being that he was the one that arrested her. He returned my glare. Alisha's lawyer was sitting next to her and i had too wonder what he could possibly have to defend his clients. Lawyers can get creative in finding something but he can't possibly have anything, right.

I tried to meet Lenas gaze but she was just looking down and, when her lawyer would talk to her, at him. Lenas mom and dad, her friends Jenna and Kelly, me and Williams are all here too speak for Lena. Granted me and Williams technically have to, being the cops on the scene that day.

When it was Lenas turn to speak was the first time i met eyes with her today. She looked at me the second she got up there. I gave her a reassuring smile and a bit of a nod telling her she can do this.

"So Miss. Adams on August 18th you were planning on breaking up with Alisha Calluso, is that correct?" the lawyer asked.

"Yes"

"Was it because Alisha was abusive?"

"Yes"

"How did Alisha react after being told you wanted to break up?" he asked and she played with her fingers.

"At first she thought i was joking and she laughed but when i insisted she got angry and hit me and grabbed my arm. When i continued to insist on breaking up she stabbed me and left" she said glaring at me. I held her stare and tried my best to make her feel better.

"So Alisha fled the scene immediately after?"

"Yes"

"Is it true Alisha was bipolar?" he asked.

"Yes she was."

"Did she take her medicine that day?" he asked.

"No i don't believe she did, she didn't like too" she said.

Lena

I sighed of relief once i finally got to sit back down. Stef gave me a thumbs up and i smiled. My mom, dad, Jenna, Kelly, Stef and the cop that was there that day all testified. Alisha was up and she smiled at me and i looked away.

"Alisha is it true that on August 18th you got into a fight with Lena Adams and ended up stabbing her?"

"No" she said and i looked over at Stef, I can't believe this. She returned my look.

"Lena had an affair. Her lover and her got into a fight and she stabbed Lena. I wasn't home" she said and i felt the air escape my lungs. Nobodys going to believe her right? I looked over at my friends and family and they honestly looked like they could kill her.

"So when Miss. Adams was in the hospital after her surgery you didn't go too visit her?"

"No i figured out she was having an affair i didn't want anything to do with her" she said and i struggled to catch my breath.

Dana

I could kill that bitch. Claiming she didn't hurt my little girl and accusing her of having an affair. I know Lena, she wouldn't do that. Even if she would, which she wouldn't, that still doesn't mean she didn't try to kill my daughter.

I can tell Lena is having a panic attack, she looks as though she can't catch her breath. There's no way anyone is going too believe this.

"Is it true you called Lena on August 20th?"  
"Yes a friend convinced me i needed closure" Alisha said.

**Ok I'll be honest with you i didn't see this coming until i typed it. So let me know what you think. By the way, I hate Alisha.**


	7. Chapter 7

Stef

I know she's not going to get away with it. After all we have evidence, her fingerprints on the knife. I just couldn't help but get pissed. How dare she pull this shit. Lena doesn't deserve this. I'm sure she never had an affair, she seems too sweet for that, and she doesn't deserve to get accused of doing so. Besides poor Lena is now having a full on panic attack. She barely able to breath. I scootched over so i was sitting behind her and put my hand on her shoulder. I know i'm not suppose to do this but i can't leave her stranded.

Turning around too me she gave me a panic look and i shook my head.

"We have evidence" i whispered to her and saw her relax a little.

I was called back up and i glared at her the entire time.

"Officer Elkin is it true that Alisha was not there when you and your partner Williams got too the scene?" the lawyer asked. Is he serious? I already said, and so did Lena, that she fled the scene.

"Yes she fled the scene before we showed up."

"Do you have any evidence that it was Alisha who stabbed Lena?" he asked.

"Yes we do, her fingerprints were on the knife she used" i said and saw Lena smile a bit of relief. Ok, why didn't i tell her before we had evidence? Why didn't anyone tell her we have evidence? She has a right to know that.

"Of course my fingerprints were there it was my knife. I don't wear glove too cut up food to cook" Alisha yelled.

"Order in the court" the judge said and Alisha quieted down.

"Was Alicia's the only prints on the knife?" the judge asked.

"The only other prints found were Lenas" i said and was half expecting Alisha to jump up and claim Lena attempted suicide but she just sat quietly. Thank god Lena has been through enough.

"Court finds Alisha Calluso guilty of attempted murder and domestic abuse" the judge said and i saw such an amazing smile come across Lenas face. I looked over at Alisha and saw a look like she's been struck. Good she got what she deserves.

"Case dismissed" she said and i went over too Lena and her family and friends who were all giving her hugs. I hung back not wanting to interfere. Dana came over to me.

"Thank you" she said and i smiled. "I could have killed her"

"Me too" i said and she smiled.

Lena smiled at me and i smiled back.

"Oh and if there is something going on between you and my daughter i couldn't be happier. I mean i still will interrogate you but you seem trustworthy and like you care about her" she said and i smiled.

"I do care about her a lot" i said honestly. "And you can put me under oath" Gay or not i really care about her and wouldn't want anything to happen to her.

"Good. A bunch of us are going back to Jennas house for a bit of a party to celebrate that Alisha is found guilty. There's not a single person in that group that wouldn't love too see you there" she said and went to go talk to Jenna.

Lena came over to me.

"Befriending my mom?" she asked and i laughed.

"Yeah we are becoming bffs quick" i joked.

"You coming, trust me there's enough food" she said smiling. I have never seen such a beautiful smile.

"Are you ok with me coming?" i asked just too make sure after yesterdays incident.

"Are you kidding me, i would be majorly disappointed if you didn't" she said.

"Well than i'll be there besides free food taste best" i said and she laughed.

Lena

I'm so glad Stef showed up. She's the one who i really wanted to come, i just love being around her. Maybe i'm crazy for saying i want to wait, after all she seems like everything i've wanted. I'm just still so scared. It's hard to even think of putting myself back into the vulnerable position of dating. I once thought Alisha was perfect for me and see how that worked out.

"Make sure you flirt" Jenna said lightly pushed me towards Stef. I hate my friends so much sometimes.

Stef

I looked at the phone too see Mike has texted me.

Mike:how court go?

Me:good Alisha isn't getting out of jail for long time

Mike: good where are you now

Me:party celebrating it with her family

Him: flirt!

I groaned. This morning i filled him in in detail on everything thats happened so far. I guess he decided he wants us together. I don't think he care about me being unsure about my sexuality, he seems pretty sure for me.

"Glad you came" she said and i smiled.

"Of course i wasn't sure if you would want me here after last night" i said and she grabbed my hand pulling me into the kitchen so we can be alone.

"Listen i'm sorry about that, i shouldn't have led you on…" she said leaning against the sink. She looked almost in pain.

"You ok?" i asked and she nodded.

"Yeah i just… i really like you" she admitted and this time i could tell she was in real pain. Her hand went to her wound as she almost toppled over in pain. I immediately held her steady.

"Lena" i said loud enough for the guest in the other room too hear.

"I'm fine" Lena denied but she was having trouble breathing. She pressed her head against my chest and i wrapped my arms around her. What's happening, is she going to be ok?

"Oh god, Lena did you take you're painkillers today?" Jenna asked sounding motherly.

"I can't remember" she said.

"Should we take her too an E.R?" Kelly asked.

"No i'm fine" Lena said.

"I can check to see if she's ok, i'm trained" i said glad i'm still basically in uniform because i didn't run home to get changed. I still have the simple medical kit on my belt. Nobody argued too this and i walked her over to the couch.

"Can someone time 30 seconds for me" i asked and then took her pulse.

"Her hearts a little faster than normal" i announced.

"Any chest pain?" i asked laying her down i can't have her passing out on me.

"A little" she admitted. "My wound just throbbing is all"

"She has an inhaler the doctor told her to use if she has trouble breathing" Kelly said and i nodded telling her to get it. Lena took it from her friend and did two puffs before putting on the table next to her.

"It's probably just from the stress of the day you can take her too the emergency room if you want" i said but Lena shook her head.

"I'm fine" she argued.

"Alright. I guess we will postpone this party until she is feeling better" Dana said. Guest started to leave i stood up and Lena sat up.

"You should probably remain laying down" i said.

"We didn't finish our conversation" she said sadly. I laughed, thats really what she's thinking about.

"We'll finish it once you are feeling better" i said.

"I'm fine. I'll staying laying down if you stay" she said and she sending very mixed signals.

"You're used to getting what you want" i said laughing.

"Fine… lay down though" she laid down and Jenna, Kelly, Dana and Stuart decided to give us some privacy.

"I know you need time, i understand that" i said and she nodded. "Too be honest I've never been with a girl before"

"So you're not gay?" she asked sitting up i glared at her and she laid back down.

"I'm not sure to tell you the truth." i said and she nodded her head.

"So you're not going to be there when i'm ready" she said shocking me.

"What no i never said that…"

"Listen i'm sorry i know what it's like to be in your position but i can't be that girl you experiment with…"

"I'm not experimenting!"

"No thats exactly what you're doing. I'm sorry but this is too much, can we just forget all that and be friends" she said and despite not even being with her i feel like i just got dumped.

"Ok" i agreed got up and smiled at her. "I'll see you tomorrow then" I left feeling like i just lost her.

**Let me know what you think. There is going to be multiple things making Stef and Lena getting together to be complicated. Sorry but it's being realistic, be patient it might take a while but will happen eventually.**


	8. Chapter 8

Lena

I should have known not to even get my hopes up about Stef. Should have known she was just experimenting. Was i just so desperate to feel cared about again that i didn't see it? If i were too be honest with myself i have been aware that Alisha didn't love me for a long time. I mean she abused me, for goodness sakes. I tried to convince myself some many things for so long so i could believe it was real but deep down i knew it wasn't.

So i got my hopes up, secretly believed in her. Guess yet again i was wrong.

Mike

Nothing like trying to convince you're closeted friend that she needs to stop being stupid and realize she's gay already. I think i'm going to need Davids help for this intervention. He's me and Stefs gay friend and if anyone can do it he can.

"Hey i need your help" i said once he answered.

"Oh i like the sound of that, what do you need honey?" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"You too stop pretending you're the stereotypical gay boy, and not to call me honey" i clarified and he lost the stereotypical gay boy accent.

"Fine what is it" he said his voice now deeper.

"You know how Stef is gay?" i asked and he laughed.

"Every knows Stef is gay but Stef" i laughed.

"yeah pretty much… i don't know if she told you but she met someone…"

"That Lena girl? Yeah all hear is about her. What about her?" he said.

"Stef is about ready to throw away her chance with her because she's 'not gay'" i said and he told me he will be here in five minutes.

Lena

Jenna came downstairs and took my blanket off. Well that wasn't very nice.

"Go get dressed we are going out to eat" she said matter-of-factly. Jenna and Kelly rarely eat out, just not like them.

"What?"

"Were leaving in a half an hour, get dressed. Me and Kelly treat. Now go" she said apparently now i'm deemed well enough to go places. I went and got dressed and we left.

"What happened between you and Stef?" Jenna asked once we were seated and looking at the menus.

"What do you mean?" i asked pretending i didn't know what they were talking about.

"Well yesterday after you're episode you wanted to talk to her alone. After that she left looking upset and you have been moping ever since" Kelly answered.

"I haven't been moping and nothing happened" i denied.

"Yes you are and something had to of happened since you two aren't like you were before."

"It's the evening of the next day, you haven't even seen us together since" i argued trying to figure out what i wanted too eat.

"Besides what were we like before?" i asked kind of curious what their answers would be.

"Like two awkward teenagers that like each other but don't know how to act around each other" Jenna said

"We were just friends"

"...but you didn't want to be, you wanted to be so much more" she said and i sighed.

"Yes i liked her, happy now?" i said and they both laughed.

"She likes you too so what happened?" Kelly asked and i rolled my eyes.

"All she wanted was to experiment" i explained.

"Experiment? There's no way that she's straight" Jenna said in disbelief.

"Well she is"

"I saw the way she looked at you she definitely isn't straight. No straight girl experimenting looks at another girl that way. Maybe she's closeted but she's not straight" Kelly insisted.

"Either way she's not quite there yet and you know what neither am i" i said and they smiled.

"Fine whatever you want to tell yourself but don't let her get away" Kelly said.

"Were friends" i said groaning. They are so persistent.

"Sure" they said and i rolled my eyes.

Stef

Now i have Mike and David giving me an intervention about me and Lena. Great, this is the last thing i need.

"Stef who are you kidding you are definitely lesbian." David said. "I'm even willing to go too strip club with you two too prove it." Mike laughed.

"There's an easier way to see half-naked girl, David" he stated and i groaned.

"Really guys?" i said taking my shoes off and laying down on Mike's couch.

"What you prefer us talking about half-naked strippers or your sex life?" i groaned. I'm going to kill them both.

"What does that have…"

"Are you kidding me? That has everything to do with your sexuality" Dave said.

"Fine if it will get you two too stop" i said having enough.

"When was the last time you got laid?" he asked and i crinkled up my nose and pulled my sweatshirt around me more.

"Alright let me rephrase that. When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?" he said and Mike laughed. Glad he's enjoying this.

"Oh my god, what are you my doctor? Some how you made that even more awkward." i said and glared at Mike.

"Answer the question" he demanded getting a notepad out.

"Put that away" i yelled.

"Deliberate avoidance of the question" he faked wrote on the paper.

" David"  
"When was the last time you had sex?" he said and i groaned.

"I don't know like a month or so ago" i said.

"Was it with Gabe?" he asked and i rolled my eyes. Gabe is the last guy i was with and i broke up with him a month ago.

"Yes" i said annoyed that he even has to ask.

"Did you like it?" he asked and i got up too leave. He grabbed my hand and made me sit back down.

"This is sexual harassment" i reminded him.

"Fine did you find Gabe attractive?" he asked taking it down a notch.

"Can you guys stop already?"

"Fine lets talk about Lena. What was the first thing you noticed about her?" he said. Is he kidding me.

"I don't know maybe that she had a knife in her side?" i said and he nodded.

"Ok fair enough." David said and Mike just laughed.

"Why don't we talk about Tess Brown" Mike said and David liked that idea.

"I have never hated you two so much" i complained which only made them happier.

"No but seriously the Tess situation needs to be talked about. As a teen you normally figure out your sexuality. If you are unsure you experiment a bit too figure it out. When family or friends react badly you think you shouldn't be doing it so you suppress it" David said and i rolled my eyes. Is he really trying too psycho evaluate me?

"Are you going somewhere with this?" i said annoyed.

"You're dad sent you too see a youth minister when he saw you and Tess cuddling" he said and i shifted uncomfortably.

Flashback

She put her arm around me and i didn't move it.

"Sounds like you had a rough day to me" she said and i forced a smile.

"Just tired" i shrugged and she smiled evilly.

"Take a nap" she said pulling me into her running her fingers through my hair. She shifted her body so i could get comfortable against her.

"Tess, I…" i said she smiled innocently.

"We have been friends forever, no harm in it. Don't worry you're parent won't be home for a while" she said and even though i know i should object this feels so good and i'm so tired.

"Goodnight" she said laying her head against mine.

When i woke up it was too the sound of my dad's screaming.

"Get out" he screamed at Tess.

"Nothing happened you're exaggerating" i yelled at him.

"No get out" he yelled at Tess and she did as told.

"I'll see you tomorrow" she said too me.

"No you won't. You won't see her again" he yelled and i got pissed.

"I'm not eight dad." i yelled.

"You're still my daughter. Tess leave and you're coming with me" he said and Tess left pissed off herself.

Lena

They have been casually reminding me not too let me and Steph go. I don't understand what they don't understand. I can't have feelings for a straight girl, i have too much going on right now.

My phone rang and i didn't recognize the number.

"Hello Lena Adams speaking" i said and her voice sent chills down my spine.

"Hey sweetie, it's me Alisha" she said and i felt myself get pissed.

"Please don't hang up i just want to talk" she said and for some reason i felt myself obey.

"Talk?" i asked humorlessly. "About what? You stabbing me and leaving me for dead, or accusing me of being a whore and having an affair in court?"

"This is why we need to talk. They got all these ideas in your head. I didn't stab you, i wasn't there…"

"Bullshit you weren't there, i remember you stabbing me!" i yelled and i can tell she was shocked. It was very rare i sweared or even yelled for that matter.

"Lena, memory is suggestible. If you're told something happened and you don't remember what actually happened, especially after being stabbed, than your brain can invent the memory" she said and i shook my head.

"No, it happened i remember it clear as day." i said.

"Thats how it works. Listen i know this might be hard for you to grasp right now but you had an affair and she stabbed you… it's ok i forgive you." she said.

"No i wouldn't have had an affair…" i defended myself.

"Honey it's ok i don't blame you. I was no where near a good enough girlfriend for you, you deserved better. We both made mistakes and it's time to move past it."

**Alisha is too good of a drama too just have it end with her going to jail. Come on did you really think she was going to just disappear from this story. Don't worry i have a basic plot line for this story. I promise they will get together eventually. Also i will continue too talk about the Tess situation because i believe it is important in Stef coming too terms with her sexuality.**


	9. Chapter 9

Stef

I was sitting there annoyed at both Mike and David during their Lesbian intervention when thankfully my phone rang. Lena, she has amazing timing.

"Hey what's up" i said smiling evilly at them, satisfied.

"Alisha called me" she said and the happy feeling faded into anger. How dare she?

"What? What did she say to you?" i said and they gave me a confused look.

"She was trying to convince me that she wasn't the one that stabbed me" she said and i swear i've never wanted to kill someone so much in my life.

"Don't listen too a word she says. We have actually evidence…" i said and she interrupted me.

Her voice small she said, "There's no chance it was anyone else?" That bitch better not be trying to convince Lena that she's not guilty.

"Absolutely not… no other prints were on the knife and neighbors said that before it happened the only people they saw go into the house was you and her." i said not understanding what Alisha could be saying too make her statement believable.

"Listen Lena don't listen to anything she says she's just trying to mess with your head. I'm going to file a report to have her telephone rights removed" i said and was surprised by what i heard next.

"No" she said.

"Lena!" i said is she really defending her? Abusive relationships are hard to get out of and the victims can be hard to handle but i really thought Lena came to terms with it.

"I need closure. I need too talk too her one last time" she said like she was trying to sound confident but her voice was shaky.

"Ok well you can go during visiting hours, i'll come with you" i offered not wanting her to go alone. It's something about her that brings out the protective instinct in me.

"I can go alone, officer" she said and i felt rejected.

"I don't need a babysitter but thank you" she said and i tried to think of something to say that won't make it obvious that i'm upset.

"Are you sure?" i asked kind of hoping she will change her mind.

"Yeah i just need to do this alone." she said.

"Ok i get it, let me know if you change your mind or want me to file the report" i said.

"I will… i'll talk to you later"

"Ok bye" i said hanging up. They both looked at me awkwardly.

"Everything ok?" Mike asked.

"Alisha called trying to convince her she didn't stab her and now Lena is going to visit her for 'closure'" i said putting air quotes around closure. I don't want to believe she's lying but what if she goes too tell her to leave her alone and Alisha sweet talks her or something. She has too be good at the act if she convinced Lena that she cared and loved her for three years even though she's been abusive.

"Ok is it just me or do i see jealously" David said to Mike who nodded.

"I'm worried about her" i defended. "She's going to talk to her abusive persuasive ex-girlfriend who has already somewhat convinced Lena that we are wrong about her."

"Lena is probably going to get closure, i know weird concept" he joked and i rolled my eyes. "She's a smart girl, i'm sure she won't fall for it" Mike said.

"She already is she asked me if there is anyway Alisha wasn't the one that stabbed her." i said frustrated.

"I swear if she sweet talks Lena…" i started.

"You're do what? You're giving Alisha the perfect chance… Lena wants you and you are being stupid talking to us. She's probably hoping you step up after she rejected you… ever heard of playing hard to get?" Mike said i sighed.

"Since when have you known anything about girls?" i asked and he laughed.

"I learned from the best"

"Wait hold up a second… macho man takes girl advice from you?" David said teasing Mike. I nodded glad the attention is off me for a second.

"Yet you don't understand you're gay… wow. Mike might be the next one we have an intervention for" he said winking at Mike.

"Ok how many times have we had this conversation?" Mike said turning towards David glaring at him.

"One day" David said sighing and i just laughed.

"Stop it… i need some straight friends" Mike said and i laughed as David looked mock-offended.

"Oh don't go there, bitch" he said and i pulled David back.

"O like i would hit him, i don't hit girls" Mike said teasing him.

"Thats a compliment" David joked.

"You guys are cute" i teased and Mike glared at me.

Lena

I followed the cop steeling myself for the upcoming conversation. Part of me kind of wished Steph was here. Part of me knows it's best if i do this alone. She sat in an orange uniform and smiled at me. She has her make up and hair done nice like she wants to impress me.

"Thank you for coming" she said and i sat down and the cop went and stood on the other side of the wall.

"Ive missed you" she said and i shook my head.

"Don't say that… you don't have a right to say that" i said.

"Listen i get that you're mad, you have every right to be but i didn't do this" she said and she looked like she honestly believed it.

"No you did i remember it" i said.

"I don't" she said looking like she's telling the truth.

"Let me jog your memory than… I wanted to break up and you got mad. When i insisted that we break up you hit me and grabbed my arm. I still insisted on it and you stabbed me in the side and than left me too die" i said feeling tears in my eyes.

'No don't you dare show weakness, right now!' my mind shouted at me.

"Honey i'm sorry that that happened but it wasn't me i was at work" she defended herself.

"Take some responsibility, Alisha. Don't call me honey" i said trying hard to scream.  
"Lena you have to know this is ridiculous. I could never hurt you, i love you" she said almost like she was begging.

"No i thought you loved me… you don't know what love is" i said.

"You can't let them get in between us, us against the world" she said and i almost laughed.

"You ruined 'us', Alisha" i said putting air quotes around us.

"Have a nice life" i said and got out before i broke. I got too the car and lost it. Crying hard enough that i was taking deep breaths causing my wound too hurt.

Flashback

I woke up and snuggled into her side she subconsciously wrapped her arms around me. I kissed her neck and she stirred.

"Hmm… do we have to wake up?" she asked.

"Yes we have this thing called a job" i said and she groaned.

"I don't want to go, i just want to stay home with you all day" she said and i laughed.

"Tempting but we really should be getting up" i said getting up and going into the bathroom. She followed me in and pinned me against the door.

"How about a shower, sexy?" she said.

"We don't have time" i said not in the mood but we also don't have time we slept in late.

"Oh i see how it is… guess i should get use too this because once we both have full time jobs it's going to get harder too have time alone" she said sighing.

"Than marriage and children… you should probably get used to it" i said casually bringing marriage and children into the conversation too see how she will react. I started brushing my teeth.

"Children?" she asked giving me a sideward glance and i looked down awkwardly.

"Yeah well you know after marriage…" i trailed off she laughed.

"I'm teasing you" she said kissing my cheek. "Of course i would love to have kids with you"

"Besides you would look so cute pregnant" she said and i raised one eyebrow at her.

"Wow you are desperate this morning" i said winking and leaving the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Present

I was pulled from my thoughts by the person in the car next to me getting into her car. I put the car in drive and left the jails parking lot. I got my phone out and called Stef hoping she will pick up.

"Hello" she said. It's amazing how she doesn't miss a single one of my calls.

"You alright?" she asked probably hearing me crying.

"No can i come over to your house?" i asked heading in the direction of her house anyways, i doubt she will say no. She told me her addresses once and i know what street it but i can't remember which apartment it is.

"Of course you can. 108 shoreside drive" she said reminding me of her address which i was thankful for.

"Thanks i'll be there in a few minutes." i said hanging up. I got there and looked in the mirror too make sure i didn't look like a crying clown, no such luck. I tried cleaning up the running make up but the more i mess with it the worst it looks. I looked over at the house and saw Stef standing there. When we met eyes she walked over to me.

"Hey you ok, what happened?" she asked opening the door. I turned around to her and she smiled at me and i got out. She hugged me.

"I saw Alisha today" i admitted and she took me into her house.

"What did she say to you?" she asked looking so worried. I wiped the tears away and smiled at her.

"Can we not talk about that?" i said.

"Oh yeah sure, can i get you a glass of wine or something…" she offered.

"Oh no thank you i can't drink yet" i responded and she looked over at me.

"Oh i'm sorry i assumed you were over 21" she said awkward.

"Oh no i am, I'm 21 i just can't drink yet with my medicine" i clarified.

"Oh right sorry… do you want some hot chocolate? Always makes me feel better after a rough day" she said that sounds great.

"Yeah that sounds great thanks" i said and she went into the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home, find something on tv" she said and i found the remote and started flipping through channels. She came back out with two hot chocolate with whipped cream and marshmallows in it.

"Thanks" i said taking a sip of it.

"If you want to talk about it…" she said and i kissed her. I need her right now and i don't care about anything else.

**Please review and tell me what you think. Don't worry there's still more drama before they actually get together sorry not that easy.**


	10. Chapter 10

Stef

She put the hot chocolate down and kissed me harder then going to my neck.

Her lips on me felt amazing and I didn't want to stop it but she will probably regret this tomorrow.

"Hey should we be doing this?" I asked and she stopped.

"I don't know officer, what's wrong with it? We are both signal." She said her arms pulling me closer.

"Your upset, you sure you want to do this?" I asked and she looked upset again.

"Do you not want to?"She asked looking embarrassed.

"No it's not that" I said awkwardly. "Should we being do this?"

"Stef I have never felt like this for anyone before and I just might be doing this because I'm upset but it feels right"she said and she's right. I never thought this would feel so right.

"Neither have I" I said honestly surprising myself.

"Good lead me to your bedroom"she said and I did as told while kissing her passionately.

Lena

I woke up and took in my surroundings. Im naked and Stef is laying next to me, i smiled turning around and spooning her. She shifted and looked at me, realization coming across her face.

"Wait did we?" she asked and i laughed.

"Yeah" i said kissing her shoulder.

"How much did i embarrass myself last night?" she asked and i can tell she still hasn't fully grasped the concept.

"You didn't. You were amazing" i said turning her so we were pressed against each other. I love the feeling of our boobs pressed together. I'm not lying she was impressive considering that she's never done it before. I will get her too where she's perfect.

"Oh yeah i'm sure" she said.

"Ok i'll be honest you're still new, i will get you too where you're perfect. No worries you are going to be amazing" i said and she looked shocked.

"Oh so you are saying there will be another time?" she asked seeming too have mixed feelings about this. Oh god, did i not satisfy her? I could have sworn she wasn't faking but what if she's just good.

"If you want there to be" i said and she smiled.

"Of course i do" she said kissing me, this is so awkward.

"How about i make you some breakfast" i said and laughed.

"Oh you can cook can you?" i said and she shook her head, no.

"Sorry i suck at cooking, the best i can offer is toast" she said giving me a pathetic smile.

"Well it's a good thing toast sounds good than" i said and she smiled.

Stef

Ok i'm doomed. I have never enjoyed sex so much, i actually felt close to her. I never really liked sex let alone felt close to the person i'm having sex with. That could only mean one thing, I'm a lesbian!

I put two pieces of bread into the toaster and turned around to her.

"Ahh the magic process of turning bread into toast… my speciality" i said and felt like slapping myself. Really, Stef? She laughed and i smiled at her.

"I'm sorry that was a bad joke, you don't have to laugh" i said and she shook her head.

"You're funny" she said playing with my badge.

"You're sexy in uniform" she said and i blushed making her laugh. She has such a cute laugh and smile.

"Uh what do you want on you're toast? I have butter, peanut butter and jelly" i said getting the gun out the safe and watched as she winced.

"Not a fan of guns?" i said and she nodded.

"Not my favorite thing" she said.

"Mine either, but it's just for protection" i said putting it into my belt and the toast popped up. I put it on a plate and turned to her.

"Peanut butter, Jelly or butter?" i said pointing to the choices.

"Peanut butter and Jelly" she said and i nodded at her.

"Ah i see making the order more complicated. Sounds good, i think i'm going to copy you" i said putting peanut butter and jelly on the toast and handing it to her.

"Thank you" she said as i put two pieces in for myself.

"You always have toast?" she asked.

"Oh no sometimes i stop get a doughnut" i joked and she didn't get it.

"Nice"

"Sorry that was another bad joke... cops doughnuts" I said and she smiled.

"Oh so you don't get a doughnut in the morning?

"Not really. We haven't even had doughnuts at the station. They like go out of there way not to follow the stereotype" I said and she laughed.

"What time do you get off today?" she asked.

"Oh not till six, why" i asked and she smiled.

"I was just wondering if we could go out, say seven?" she asked. Would that be a date? Of course it's a date you just had sex with her, you idiot.

"Oh yeah sure. Where are we going?" i asked.

"I'll think of something, i'll pick you up" she said finishing her toast and kissing my cheek.

Lena

I came home and they were sitting staring at me.

"Where the hell were you?" Jenna said clearly worried.

"Stefs" i said and Jenna didn't even hear it she kept ranting.

"You leave us a note saying you need closure and so you went too see Alisha and then never come home" she yelled and i suddenly felt bad. I can only imagine what they thought happened.

"I'm sorry"

"Sorry, you didn't answer our calls. We didn't know what to think" Kelly said and i groaned.

"I'm sorry mommies. It won't happen again" i said only half-joking. They sound like my mom through.

"Better not… where were you" Jenna said making it obvious that she didn't hear me tell her the first time.

"Stefs" i said and there attitude changed completely.

"Wait… you spent the night there? What happened?" Jenna asked like a hyperactive child.

"Man you don't joke around when you say closure" Kelly said and i laughed.

"Well i went over to her house because i was upset that Alisha was still trying to convince me her innocence" i started and they looked mad.

"That bitch" Kelly said and i winced. I hate when people swear.

"Anyways" i said awkwardly. "I went there and she was just so worried about me and it was sweet…"

"So you two had sex?" Jenna asked giving me that look like, 'what a 180 degree turn you made'

"Yes!" i said.

Stef

I can't get my mind off her. Last night was amazing and tonight i get too go on an actual date with her. Ive never felt like this before. Too be honest i think i might be in love with her.

**The drama is going too continue, there is still going to be some obstacles in Stef and Lenas relationship. Being true to The Fosters no drama is truly over. Anyways once i have the drama of the beginning of their relationship i might skip some time and show how they got too where they are now, depends on what you guys think. So let me know.**


	11. Chapter 11

Stef

Suddenly it all hit me. I'm going on a date with a girl, what are people going too think of me. What if i run into someone i know? If i get outed i'll lose my family and a lot of my friends probably. My dad surely would never talk to me again. I mean thats obvious after Tess.

Flashback

I sat trying to figure out what's going on. I have never been so mad at him. All we were doing was cuddling and now he's throwing a hissy fit saying i can't see her again. Me and Tess have been friends for years now and if he really thinks i'm going to listen to him and not see her again he's dead wrong. I can't lose her.

"Where are we going?" i asked and yet again he didn't answer.

"Dad!" i shouted.

"Church" he said finally and i didn't know what to do. Church? He can't be serious, right.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me" i yelled not caring that i was swearing at him. He deserves it right now.

"Don't swear, you need to talk to someone" he said.

"Oh for goodness sakes, all we were doing was cuddling" i shouted.

"Yeah and thats how it starts" he shouted back.

The minister told me to sit down and i tried to keep the tears out of my eyes.I have never been so embarrassed.

"So you're dad told me he caught you and your friend cuddling" he said and i swallowed the anger and embarrassment.

"We just feel asleep is all" i defended myself.

"Listen you're a teenager these thoughts are natural but you have to stop them. Being gay is a sin" he started and i wondered if he noticed how little sense that sentence makes. If it's natural why would it be a sin?

I just sat there arms folded across my chest trying best to not cry.

"Tonight go home and pray for God's forgiveness" he said. Yeah like thats happening.

Present

She looked over at me and could tell something was wrong.

"You know what, lets ditch." she said shocking me. We haven't even got our table yet and now she's talking about leaving.

"Ditch?" i asked.

"Yeah lets go back to your place and i will cook you a nice meal instead, i'm craving a nice home cooked meal" she said touching my arm so no one can see and she guided me too the door.

"Seriously?" i asked and she nodded.

"Yeah lets go" she said heading towards her car.

We got back to my place and she started to look through my cabinets and looked frustrated.

"Do you own food?" she asked looking through my fridge too see what she could make.

"Not really, why did you decide to come back here?" i asked and she turned towards me.

"Well you obviously didn't want to eat out" she said casually and then continued to attempt to find food.

"What do you mean?" i asked. I didn't make a comment that would imply that, did i?

"You don't feel comfortable going out yet, it's ok" she said.

"It is?" i said awkwardly and she nodded.

"Yes you still need sometime. It's ok, so do i. Well take this slow from here" she said. We had sex last night and she's saying we will take this slow?  
"What were you thinking when we got too the restaurant, you looked really upset" she asked giving up.

"Ok i guess all you have is mac and cheese and chicken, how do you live on this?" she asked.

"Not hard" i said and she started to make kraft mac and cheese and grill up some chicken.

"Listen about that earlier question if you don't feel comfortable telling me yet, it's ok. Tell me when you're ready" she said smiling at me.

I sighed, "My dad sent me too see a youth minister when he caught me and my friend Tess cuddling when i was sixteen"

She turned around too me sympathy in her eyes.

"I'm sorry that has to suck" she said putting her hand on mine.

"Yeah it did, just really embarrassing. You know?" i said.

"Let me guess the minister proceeded to tell you that being gay is a sin" she said and i nodded.

"Yeah my dad would never talk to me again if he knew" i said and she sighed putting her arm around me.

"Oh sweetie i'm sorry." she said gently massaging my shoulders.

"I'm always here if you want to talk." she added.

"What if they figure out?" i asked.

"I'm here no matter what happens. Maybe they will surprise you. Sometimes it just takes some time for them to accept it, like you needed time to accept it" she said.

Lena

I feel so bad for her. Being sent to a youth minister after being caught cuddling with another girl. That has to be embarrassing. No wonder shes just realizing now. I hope her family is more understanding now. I would hate for her to lose her family over this.

I have never felt like this with anyone before. I didn't feel like this with Alisha and at one point I thought she was the one. Alisha. As much as I hate to think of her the bad past serves no purpose if I don't learn from it, right. History will repeat itself, which is the last thing I need. No matter how I feel about Stef I need to keep a safe distance. If anything that experience taught me is that no one can be trusted.

Stef

She left and I leaned against the door. What am I going to do? My family will never accept me after this. My dad's going to preach being gay is against God to me yet again. My mom was never as judgemental but I still don't think she's going to be happy about it.

I called David needing to talk to a friend who can relate. His family was homophobic, they weren't religious, and originally disowned him for it. However a year later his parents called him up for no reason asking that they talk about it. His parents aren't exactly thrilled but they have came around a lot. He would know what this is like.

"Hey Hon wats up?" He said he calls everyone Hon. Not everyone appreciates it.

"I slept with Lena" I said and I heard him gasp.

"You did what?... Man you move fast. ….If you still try to claim your straight I will kill you" he said and I just listening to him as it dawned on him.

"Damn girl I didn't think you would actually do it" he said and I rolled.

"Ok if I wanted a few minutes of reaction I would have called Mike" I said and he laughed.

"You just told me you made love with another woman and you expect me to be all 'cool hey it happens what you doing today'."

"Ok fine I just need your advice." I said.

"With what, Hon" he said.

"What If I lose my family" I said trying to keep myself from breaking down.

"Well first of all I would wait a bit before leaving the closet, get comfortable with it first yourself." He said and I wasn't planning on announcing this anytime soon. What if Lena wants me to? She won't right, she seems to understand I need time but how much time will she give me.

"I wasn't planning on it but what if she wants me to. I can't lose my family" I said.

"This sounds like something you need to talk to her about. When it happens, if it happens, we are here for you. Either way you have to accept it fully and love yourself or they won't" he said.

Lena

I know I care about her a lot, maybe even love her, but do I really know her. What if she ends up just like Alisha? Am I really ready to be put in that vulnerable position? I want nothing more than to just let it all go and just take a chance but I'm scared to. Am I ever going to be ready for a relationship?

**Ok so let me know what you think. I'm starting to rewrite my story Scar, so i might be adding that. However it won't be soon, i'm going to wait until i have enough chapters written that i know i have a solid foundation to make sure it will survive until the end. If that works successfully than i will do Love or Hate.**

**Also i have a few ideas for stories that i don't know if i'm going to publish. I have a crazy story started where i switched up how they met and made it completely opposite of what happened on the series but i don't know if people will like it. Anyways let me know if you think i should publish it.**


	12. Chapter 12

Stef

He came up too me and sat next too me looking like he was on too something i didn't want him to be on too.

"So hows Lena?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant but i can tell he was suppressing a grin.

"Ok did David tell you?" i said annoyed and not wanting to play along with the mind games.

"Tell me what?" he said innocently.

"Oh come on, Mike." i said

He whispered, "That little miss. I'm not a lesbian had sex with Lena, yeah i might have heard that somewhere"

"Damn it David" i said now everyones going too know. At least Mike is considerate enough to whisper.

"I'm curious how did that happen?" he asked.

"You're a pig!" i said and he laughed satisfied with himself.

"So what's with you two now?" he asked.

"We are taking it slow" i said and he laughed.

"Slow? After sex, right" he said.

"What it's possible" i said.

"Oh sure" he said.

Jenna

I know Lena and Stef had sex and now they are taking it slowly. I know that is her way of saying i'm scared for this going far because i don't know if i can trust people. I can't let this keep them from being together, because they would be so cute together.

"We need an idea" i said and she didn't know what i'm talking about.

"Ah for what?"

"Making sure that Lena and Stef don't fall apart" i said.

"Jenna let this go, they will work out." she said.

"Yeah but…" i said.

"Calm down, cupid" she said. "They are adults they can handle this himself"

Lena

I Sat down next to her and she smiled at me.

"I think we need to talk" she said.

"About what…" i said.

"About us" she said. "What's going on between us?" This always seems to be a hard and awkward question to answer.

"Well what do you want to be going on between us?" i asked.

"I don't know, i'm worried about this and i think you are too" she said and i didn't know what to say. If i'm honest she might take it personally. I guess it's the best thing to do. honesty is the best policy and i can't start a relationship with a lie.

"Too be honest i'm terrified. I just got out of an ab…" i said and stumbled over the word. I haven't said the word out loud yet. Abusive. How has my life come to this?  
"...I just got out of a relationship with Alisha and it's hard to trust.." i said and she sighed.

"I understand that.." she said and i shook my head.

"I don't know if i will ever be ready to trust again. You should be with someone who can actually be with you…" i said and i choked on my words.

"I don't want to be with someone else… listen if you're not ready yet than we will wait. However long you need. I get that it's going to take a while before you believe this but i could never hurt you nor would i want too. I can't imagine doing anything that you don't want me too do, make you unhappy in anyway. These are just words, i get that, give me time and i will prove they are true." she said and i looked at her not knowing what to do. Part of me wants to kiss her so badly but there's still a part that tells me not too. She's right those are just words she has to prove it.

"...Besides you know i'm content being single" she said but i could see tears in her eyes too. I laughed sadly.

"We will give this a rest when you're ready let me know" she said leaning in and kissing my cheek before getting up too leave Jenna and Kellys house.

"I will" I said and she smiled at me before leaving.

"I can't even come downstairs in my own house without hearing a tear jerking romantic tragedy" she said pretending to cry as she sat down next to me.

"It's just so sad" she said but i can tell behind the joking she was a bit upset to see that.

"Will you stop" i complained.

"Not until you tell me why you did that" Kelly demanded.

"Alisha would come home sometimes and without me saying or doing anything she would hit me, just randomly. And while it would happen i would ask myself, how i didn't see it. What happened too the girl who just seemed like everything i wanted and needed and i realized while laying in that hospital bed that she never really existed, not like i saw her. She was putting on an act that i easily fell for and when i realized that i promised myself that i won't be that dumb again." i said bursting into tears.

"Now i'm scared, i'm terrified that i'm going to break that promise. I can't…" i said and she put her arm around me.

"It's ok" she said hugging me.

"What if i can't trust again" i said and she sighed.

"You just need someone to prove that they are completely trustworthy, and it might take a while but i'll be damned if it's not Stef that finds some way to win that trust." she said pulling me up.

"In the meantime…. ice cream" she said making me laugh as she pulled the cookie dough ice cream out of the fridge. I smiled at her glad i at least have them.

David

She better not be letting Lena get away. She finally accepts that she is gay and finds someone i know she loves and she lets her go. What the hell is wrong with her anyways. 'If you love something set them free...' is just a saying. Now she will probably find a way to convince herself it was just a phase and that she's straight like she did after Tess. All because her dad sent her to see a youth minister about it. Now i'm probably back to square one, Stef being in denial.

**Ok i know this chapter is shorter but oh well. Review and let me know what you think.**


	13. Chapter 13

Mike

She avoided me and kept working, yeah something happened. When she gets upset she drowns herself in work in order to keep herself together.

"Will you marry me?" I asked getting her attention.

"What the Hell" she said and I laughed.

"Just making sure you didn't go deaf" I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Now you can't ignore me what happened"

"I can ignore you" she said.

"What happened?" i asked and she ignored me.

David sat down next to me.

"Her and her girlfriend broke up yesterday" he said. Great now we are back to square one.

"I'm fine" she lied.

"Why?" i asked.

"She needs time" she said not even looking up from her paperwork.

"Time?" I asked.

"Yes she was beaten and stabbed by someone who claimed to love her!" she yelled and everyone looked over at her. I know she just needed too because she's been pissed about it and now she's snapping.

"So she needs some time" she said looking like she was holding back tears. Everyone just watched quietly afraid to say anything.

"I'm sorry" she said once she calmed down a bit.

"What did you say to her?" David asked.

"Her?" Jack asked catching on that she just revealed that she was involved with a girl.

"You're gay?" Kyle asked.

"No i'm not gay it was just a fling" she denied. Yep back too denial Stef, how fun. Kyle and Jack didn't say anything else sensing that she is not in the mood to be messed with.

Lena

Me, Jenna and Kelly decided to go down too the carnival thats in town for the weekend, ok more like they decided and i was dragged. I was perfectly happy sitting home in pjs watching reruns and eating popcorn but no we have to go out and see people.

"Come on, Lena. You need to have some fun too get over her" Kelly said and i sighed in surrender.

"Fine whatever" i said and they laughed.

"You will thank us eventually" she said. We played games, went on rides and ate until i couldn't eat anymore. I have to admit i'm having a little fun but i still am thinking about Stef. I want her here with me but at the same time i know i need too just take a break. Have us be friends and see if she's trustworthy.

An attractive woman approached me and Jenna and Kelly turned to leave. What the hell are they doing.

"Hey beautiful" she said looking right at me.

"Are you talking too me?" i asked not entirely sure.

"Of course who else would i be talking too" she said and i didn't know what to say. It rare that i go out to a public place like a carnival and a girl is bold enough to flirt with me.

"Gretchen" she said putting her hand out for me too shake.

"Lena" i said smiling at her awkwardly.

"Well, Lena i was wondering if you would go get something to eat with me sometime" she said checking me out and it made me uncomfortable.

"Oh um… i just… i'm taken sorry" i lied. I was going to admit that i just got out of a bad relationship but then i'm risking having to explain it to her and thats the last thing i want to do.

"Should have known all the pretty ones are taken" she said. "Maybe i will see you around beautiful"

Stef

I just about outed myself too the whole station, what the hell was i thinking. Now everyone probably thinks i'm gay. Am i? I mean could this just be another stage like Tess. Maybe it's just me feeling so close to her because of how i met her. I don't like her, let alone love her, she's just a friend.

"Hey you going to the bar tonight?" Mike asked.

"Yes when" i asked eager to go out and just drink and forget. Besides it will keep me from calling Lena, which i shouldn't do, and don't want to. We are just friends so why would i be eager to call her. I'm not.

"Tonight at nine, you need a ride?" he asked. I would say no but i'm going to need a designated driver.

"You staying sober?" i asked and he laughed.

"No i'm not staying sober, why would i go than?" he said and i shrugged.

"Well i need a designated driver" i said and he sighed.

"Fine i'll sober up before we leave" he said.

Mike

Great now i have a drunk Steph trying to call Lena. I convincated her phone and gave it too David and who knows where he put it.

"Why can't i talk too her? You want me to be with her" she whined.

"You are going to seem clingy and it's not going to look good if you call drunk" i reminded her.

"... but i'm not drunk!" she lied.

"Now thats proof you're drunk because you think you're sober" i said and she pouted.

"I'm sober… I'm fucking sober" she yelled and everyone laughed.

"Fine prove it… walk in a straight line" i said and she groaned.

"I wouldn't be able to do that sober" she said and i laughed. She's right but she just admitted to being drunk.

"You just admitted to being drunk" i pointed out to her.

"No i will prove it too you" she said getting up and walking in a straight line. Ok how did she do that, she's wasted.

"Ok you couldn't do that sober, what the hell" i said and she laughed.

"Fuck yes, told you i was sober" she shouted and then almost fell on her ass.

"Now give me my phone, asshole" I sighed surrendering.

"Fine, David has it" I said giving up. David can watch the drunk girl for a while. I went over to the girl who's watching me all night.

"Your friend alright?" She asked.

"Oh yeah one to many and then she had like ten more after that but she will be fine" I explained and she just laughed.

"She was all over you" she said.

"Oh no it's not like that she's just that drunk that she need someone to keep her upright" I said and she smiled.

"Good because I want you" she said kissing me.

David

That asshole sends her over here so he can make out with some fake slut. Its not my turn to watch her. Now I have a drunk Steph trying to call Lena.

"Listen you can call her if you can say the alphabet backwards" I said and she put her head down.

"David" she whined. I glared at her.

"Fine... A B C..." She starts and I groaned.

"backwards" I said and she pouted.

"Z Y X W... Q" she guessed.

"Nice try" I said.

"Let me have my phone" she whined.

Lena

I picked up after seeing that it is Stef and could immediately tell she is drunk. Oh great this should be interesting.

"Hey i miss you" she said her words slurred.

"I miss you to" i said and she laughed like a schoolgirl with a crush.

"How much have you had to drink tonight, officer?" i joked and she laughed.

"I'm not drunk" she denied, she's definitely drunk.

"I think you are" i said and she kept giggling. She's a giggly drunk.

"Ok maybe a bit, i'm sorry" she said.

"For what?" i asked not knowing why she's apologizing.

"Calling, Mike and David said i shouldn't but i couldn't not… i miss you, i love you and i just want to hold you" she said and the three words stopped me. I love you.

'She's drunk there's a good chance she didn't even know she said it. It probably doesn't have the meaning you're thinking' i reminded myself.

'Do i want it too have that meaning? Do I love her?... No i can't love her, i need time.' i thought.

"Lena? Where you go?" she asked sounding like a child.

"I'm here" i said not sure what to say. "What did you just say?"

"I miss you" she repeated.

"No after that" i said.

"I want to hold you" she said.

"No before that" i commanded.

"I love you" she admitted like a scared child confessing to something they are going to get in trouble for.

"Um… ok we will talk about this tomorrow when you are sober" i said and i heard her sigh of disappointment. I know it's bad to leave her hanging but what am i suppose to do? She's drunk, i need too know if she really means it so she has to be sober.

I also need to figure out what i'm going to say to her. I want to forget everything and just fall right in blindly but well look at how well that worked the last time. What am i going to do?

**Review and let me know what you think should happen next. I know this is still a little short sorry hopefully they will get longer again soon. Should i bring Gretchen in too this and how so? Also thanks to the guest reviewer under the name "Sharod" i got 12 reviews from you in one sitting and it made my day, so thanks. **


	14. Chapter 14

Stef

I can't believe that i said that too her and i don't remember what she said back. I was drunk did i even mean it? Maybe i'm not gay but just like her. Is that possible? Maybe i do truly love her. I never felt this for anyone it can't just be a phase, right. Besides the only person i felt even slightly close too like this with before was Tess. Them both being girls can't be a coincidence. Also i have never liked sex so much. I guess the question is more like how could i be straight?

Lena

I don't know what to say to her about what she said yesterday. What if she really meant it? What if she didn't? Which one would be worse. I really care for her but what if i'm wrong about her, like i was before. She seems like she cares but so did Alisha. I need too talk too her.

12:37 she should be awake by now even with the late night and being hung over.

She didn't pick up but called right back.

"Hey sorry i wasn't by the phone" she said.

"It's ok" i said. "We need to talk about last night"

"I agree do you want too meet up at the coffee shop?" she asked.

"Uh yeah that sounds good when can we meet up?" i asked and i'm almost ready to leave now.

"I can be ready to be there in half an hour" she said.

"Ok meet you there bye" i said and finished getting ready.

I still don't know what i'm going to say to her. What if she really meant it?

Stef

I got there and tried to think of what to say to her. How am i suppose to explain how i feel too her if i don't understand it myself. She came in and i smiled at her.

"Hey" she said.

"Hey… I'm sorry i said that last night i shouldn't have called you drunk" i said and she nods.

"Did you mean it?" she asks and i have no idea what to say.

"I don't… I don't know what's going on." i said and she gave me a confused look.

"All my life i have been told that this is wrong and i…" i tried to explain.

"...am scared" she finished for me and i finally met her eyes.

"So am i" she said. "I kinda think i'm falling for you and i just can't right now"

"I feel like i'm falling for you to" i admitted as the waitress came up too take our orders we both stopped ordered coffee and then sat in silence for a while.

"I don't know how to know if i'm gay" i confessed and she smiled at me laughing a bit too herself.

"There isn't a test or experiment if thats what you're asking" she said and i sighed. I wish there were a step by step experiment i was pretty good in science classes.

"Yeah of course not that would make it too easy" i complained and she smiled at me.

"I think you're overthinking it" she said.

"Overthinking it?" i asked and she nodded.

"The easiest way to figure it out is too forget the thing thats keeping you from realizing. You're dad, for example, what he raised you too believe. That doesn't decides if you're gay or not it just decides if you're come out" she recommend.

"Forget?" i asked she makes it sound simpler than it actually is.

"Yeah find a way to push that all the way to the back and just think what makes sense then" she advised. What makes sense? I think the best way to think of that is too recall last night. I didn't even think of the negative stuff that will come from me being gay, i just thought i needed her and that was the only thing that made sense than.

"Listen either way we need time" she said like that was the bottom line.

"I know i care about you but with everything that has happened lately i just need…" she started to say.

"Time" i finished and she sighed.

"To be able to trust again, fully." she said sadly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" i asked seeking out the opportunity to start earning that trust. She looked hesitant and i decided to give her some reassurance.

"I'll tell you something that i don't want too talk about if you talk too me about it, I'll go first if it makes you feel any better" i said and she nodded.

"Deal" she said.

"Ok when i was in college for that short time i had this roommate who i guess i had a bit of a crush on. We were good friends but soon she started to notice that i acted a little different around her…" i said and she smiled at me with a knowing look.

"What you got all nervous around her?" she asked taking a sip of her coffee.

"Yeah and like got jealous of her and her boyfriend, was constantly trying to be around her all that lovely stuff. I just didn't really know why i was feeling that way. Anyways she figured out i had a crush on her and she switched rooms stopped talking to me, completely iced me out. When i saw her a month later at the grocery store she acted like she didn't know me but i confronted her wanting to know what i did wrong. She told me she can't be friends with a dyke and left never talking to me again" i explained.

"I'm sorry that sucks, i hate when that happens" she said like it happens too her all the time. The sad and scary thing is it probably does. Could i really handle that?

"Anyways" she said awkwardly.

She sighed and looked up at me as if debating if she actually want to do this. I gave her a reassuring nod and she smiled back at me.

"The one day… um she wanted sex and i wasn't in the mood" she started awkwardly. Oh god i don't like the sound of this. I swear if she made her have sex with her… i honestly don't know what i'll do but i'll be pissed thats for sure.

"She um... got mad and assumed i was having an affair" she admitted. I can tell she hasn't told people this.

"She um hit me and stormed out. The next day she bought me flowers and acted like nothing happened." she said and i took her hand.

"I'm sorry" i said not really knowing what to say.

"I haven't told anyone that yet" she said confirming my earlier belief.

"Well i won't tell anyone i promise"

Lena

I walked through town and the got the feeling that people were staring at me. Is someone following me? I looked behind me and no one looked suspicious so i kept walking.

'It's all in you're mind,Lena' i thought but couldn't stop the panic feeling.

'Alisha is in jail' I reminded myself. I kept walking but couldn't swallow the rising fear. I can feel my heart beats speed up and breathing got harder. Great i'm having a panic attack.

'You're fine, Lena! No one is after you' logic reasoned trying to reassure me.

'What if Alisha broke out of jail?' my paranoia argued.

'What if she is following me?' I pulled my phone out. I need to call Stef.

"Hello" she said.

"She's following me" i said knowing i sound crazy. I feel crazy.

"Calm down… Alisha is in jail. She's not following you" she said in a soothing voice.

"Where are you?" she asked when i didn't answer.

"Um… Main street near the pizza place" i said in between gasped breaths.

"I'm on my way, hang tight" she said and in a couple of minutes she pulled up next too me. I got into the other side.

"You ok" she asked grabbing my hand awkwardly. For some reason i randomly burst into tears.

'Good job, Lena. Now you are crying and having a panic attack in front of her way to be completely embarrassing.' i thought.

She hugged me through and i can't believe how much safer it made me feel.

"You're having an anxiety attack, breath in through your nose and out through your mouth" she instructed and i tried to do as told but it's so hard to breathe.

"Shh… honey it's ok" she said squeezing my hand.

"No... it's not" I said and she shook her head.

"Yes it is" she said starting to drive back to her house.

"Breathe in through your nose out through your mouth" she repeated doing it as she said like a demonstration. I was a little more successful this time and it started to calm me a little. We finally got to her house a few minutes later and she opened the door for me.

"Make yourself at home, I'll make you some hot chocolate" she said going into the kitchen. It was such a simple thing but it made me smile. The fact that she remembers making me hot chocolate the last time just makes me feel special for some reason.

"Thanks" i said.

"Of course, love" she said without even a second thought. Love? I like it especially how easily it rolled off her tongue. Sure she called me honey before but love is different it's more of a couples thing. Me and her as a couple the idea just sounds so perfect.

"I mean…" she said awkwardly.

"No it's ok" i said walking out too the kitchen. She turned towards me and looked nervous.

"Um hot chocolate should be done in a minute" she said as if she wanted to say something else but panicked and said the first thing that came to mind.

"Oh yeah, thanks" i said. What did she want to say to me? I need to get her to open up too me. I want to feel close to her and i don't want to leave. She's the only one that made me feel safe like that and i feel like if i go the paranoia will come back.

"Um i hate to ask?" i said awkwardly. What am i doing? Man i'm bold today.

"What is it… you can ask me anything." she said honestly.

"Um… ok i don't want to sound needy but would you mind if i stay here tonight" i asked and she smiled as if she wanted me to ask.

"I would love for you too stay the night… it could be like a sleepover" she joked trying to ease the tension. I laughed awkwardly, glad i'm going to be staying the night.

**A few announcements: **

**1. I was on a wifi-less vacation for the last few day which is why i haven't been updating, sorry.**

**2. Parallel Universe should be updated soon**

** will be brought into the story in the future, but she will not have a major plot line and she will not be with Lena Thats just how i believe it needs to go in order to make the story work properly**

** review and let me know what you think i love hearing from you**


	15. Chapter 15

Stef

We decided to make it just like a sleepover; movies, popcorn,pizza and an up all-nighter. Neither of us have work tomorrow,and she doesn't have classes either, being that it is a saturday. Which makes it perfect. She texted Jenna and Kelly so they don't worry like last time and told them she's staying the night.

"I got a ton of movie" i announced back from my trip to walmart to get snacks and too the local movie store to get a nights worth of movies.

"Good… i ordered pizza" she said putting blankets and pillows down on the couch.

"Did you get soda?" she asked. If we are staying up all night we are going to need soda.

"Yes i got pepsi, mountain dew, and sprite" i said and she smiled.

"Well we have enough than" she joked.

"Yeah and then i got doritos, cheetos, oreos, and a bag of starburst" i said showing her the big bag. She laughed finding it amusing.

"Good i ordered a plain and a pepperoni" she said and i faked over existence.

"Yes we are going to get fat tonight" i said and she laughed shaking her head.

"I worry about you sometimes" she said starting too look though the movie choices.

"Thats good someone should there's probably something seriously screwed up about me" i said and looked up at me smiling evilly.

"Probably?" she asked and i played slapped her. Too my surprise she flinched up like i would really hit her and i felt terrible. Maybe it's too soon too play slap her? I should have thought about that.

"I'm sorry" i said immediately and she just shook her head.

"No it's ok… no harm done. Guess i'm still a little jumpy today" she said looking though the movies again.

"Are these scary?" she asked trying to change the subject.

"Those two are the other two are comedies" i said and she looked down at them.

"Sorry i don't really like scary movies" she said and i decided to try to lighten the mood again.

"Why you scared?" i teased and she shook her head.

"Yes and i appreciate not being given the nightmares" she said.

"Oh well i'm here. It's my job to protect people and you know i won't let anything happen to you" i said and she looked up at me like she wanted to kiss me.

"We are not watching them" she said breaking the moment.

"Oh yes we are" i said and she glared at me.

"I don't think Jenna and Kelly would appreciate being woken up by my nightmares, they deal with it enough" she said and i stopped. The deal with it enough. Is she still haunted with nightmares of what happened. Maybe she should be seeing someone.

She noticed what she said and paused herself.

"They make me watch these movies too" she said trying to cover it up. I don't know what to say. Should i call her out on it or let it go. The doorbell interrupted my thoughts and i'm going to assume it is the pizza guy.

"Thats the pizza… how much was it?" i asked.

"Oh i got it" she said.

"No you're my guest… how much?" i asked.

"26… thanks" she said and i got the money out quickly and went to pay the guy. I brought it in and sat it on the coffee table in the living room.

"Alright time to start getting fat. What were we talking about?" i asked playing dumb giving her the chance to bring up the nightmares again or drop it. I'll let her decide if she wants to talk about it.

"Scary movies" she said, guess she doesn't. I wish she would open up too me but i don't want to pry. She just seems so scared too let anyone in and it breaks my heart. I wonder if she's always been like this or if it's just because of Alisha. She's obviously not ok, she flinched when i played slapped her and is having nightmares, i guess i should talk to Jenny and Kelly. By the sounds of it they been friends for a while and i hopefully she's talked to them.

"Right which one are we watching first" i said sitting down next to her and putting the blanket over us. We are already changed into pajamas ready for our 'sleep over'.

"We aren't watching them" she said and i laughed.

"But they look good… i'll be here" i said and she glared at me. I pouted.

"Pretty please" i said wanting to watch it just too have her hold on to me.

"Fine but don't complain if i hold onto you all night" she said and i smiled. Perfect.

"Trust me i won't" i said going to put it in.

We were sitting and eating pizza watching the previews for the other movies and she seemed scared just watching them.

"You actually like movies like that?" she said giving me a 'there's definitely something wrong with you' glare.

"Yeah it's a thrill, don't worry i will be right here" i said and she groaned.

"Stephanie!" she said.

"There not even that scary, youll be fine" i said putting the last bite of pizza into my mouth and taking a sip of pepsi.

We are half way though the movie and Lena is sitting with her knees pulled up too her chest and she is occasionally burying her head in her knees. The movie isn't even scary so i had to bite my lip to keep me from laughing. I scooted closer to her and she didn't notice. I was hoping she would hold onto me, maybe i have to make the first move here.

I put my arm around her shoulders and she leaned into me burying her head into my chest.

"There's something wrong with you" she said covering her eyes.

"I know… you're safe" i said kissing her head three times than resting my head against hers. She moved closer to the point that she is practically sitting on my lap. This was definitely a good idea.

She sat like that for the remainder of the movie and when it ended slowly let go of me.

"You're evil" she said and i laughed.

"Yep give me a minute too go too the bathroom and than we can put the other scary movie in" i teased.

"I got The Exorcist it's a classic" i said and she pouted.

"We are not watching another scary movie… put in the comedy" she demanded and i sighed.

"Fine… ruin the fun" i joked going to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and sighed. I love her. How did i let this happen? I can't deny it anymore, i love her and i can't picture my life without her. When she was holding onto me for dear life i just couldn't imagine a time where i wouldn't be able to hold her like that and i didn't want too. I splashed some water on my face and of course, because i'm not someone on a tv commercial for acne products, the water got all over me.

"Great" i said getting the towel out and doing my best too dry it up.

Lena

I watched as she walked back to the bathroom and sighed. Am i really falling for her? I just spent the last hour or so holding on to her terrified and all i could think well other than 'i hate this movie!' was 'i want to be in her arms forever!'

"Alright i guess we can watch a comedy, sissy" she teased.

"I'm not…" i denied and she laughed.

"Oh yes you are… it wasn't even scary" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"Well excuse me for not finding people being killed fun too watch" i said and she laughed.

"Oh come on now it wasn't that bad" she said putting in the comedy movie.

"Fine when i get nightmares all week i'm blaming you" i replied and she turned towards me.

"It's fake… you know that right" she said grabbing a dorito from it's bag and eating it.

"I know but still… it could happen" i said and she got serious.

"Yes and thats what i'm paid too keep from happening." she stated.

"I know it was still a scary movie" i said and she gave up.

"What ever you say but i was there to protect you" she pointed out and i smiled.

"Yeah i guess so" i said smiling at her. I want to kiss her so bad.

Stef

The second movie ended and I looked over to see Lena fast asleep. Guess an all night isn't going to happen. Thank god, i'm exhausted. I laid down and she moved so she was holding on to me. I smiled and covered her up more kissing her forehead three times. I can't help but hope that becomes a habit.

"Goodnight love" i said wrapping my arm around her and falling asleep.

I woke too Lena having a nightmare. Her grip on me tightened and her eyes are squeezed tight. She looks terrified. Is this because i made her watch a scary movie or because Alisha abused her? Is this one of those nightmares she implied she has?

Before i could do anything to calm her she startled awake looking horrified. What did she invision?

"Shh it's ok you're safe" i said rubbing her back. She laid back down and curled up on me as i rubbed her back in an attempt to sooth her. She started to calm down a bit and breathed of relief. I bet that wasn't about a silly victim turns serial killer movie.

"I have you, you're safe" i said and she looked up at me looking like she was going to cry.

"I love you" she said then burying her head back against my chest. I was stunned i don't know what to say. She loves me?

"I love you to" i said knowing it's true and knowing my life is about to change forever.

**Keep reviewing it makes my day.**


	16. Chapter 16

Jenna

I know Lena and Stefs 'relationship' is getting serious, after all supposably I love yous were exchanged yesterday. I also know paranoid Lena is still on edge because of Alisha, she doesn't feel like she can trust people. As much as i like Stef so far I think Lena is wise for being worried. Maybe it's time i look into her myself.

I still have yet to get her number so when Lena was taking her shower i took her phone and called Stef.

"Hey love" she answered. Love? Aww how cute.

"Hey it's Jenna" i said and i know she's disappointed.

"Oh hey Jenna, everything ok?" she said getting worried.

"Oh yeah sorry everythings fine… i just thought maybe we could go get a coffee." i said and then realized how bad that could be taken.

"A coffee?" she said confused.

"Uh yeah we need to talk about Lena" i said knowing how weird this sounds.

"What about Lena?" she asked.

"Well i think being that you and Lena are getting serious it's time that i got to know you and…" i started and she finished my sentence.

"...give me the 'if you do anything to hurt her i will kill you' speech." she said and i laughed.

"Pretty much"

"Alright but i could never hurt her we can go get a coffee tomorrow" she said.

"Sounds good" i said.

Lena

She massaged my shoulders and back and i have too say she's good at it.

"Hmm…. you're good with your hands" i said and she laughed.

"Some how you made that sound dirty and innocent at the same time" she said and i laughed.

"My speciality" i said as she started working on my lower back.

"I'm sure it is… by the way i have a 'good enough to be friends girlfriend' interview with Jenna tomorrow" she said and shifted so i was looking up at her.

"What? I'm sorry i'll talk to her… i swear she thinks i'm her daughter" i said annoyed. Ever since Alisha started to get abusive her and Kelly have become really protective and it's getting on my nerves.

"She's just worried about you is all" she said kissing me.

"I know but still…"

"I'll go it will look good just so i know through who am i going up against" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"No one it's just you babe…" i said.

"Good. Don't worry i'm good at these. What should i wear?" she asked and despete that fact that she's trying to sound all confident i can tell she's actually really nervous which is sweet. It shows she cares.

"Honey she's doesn't care about clothes besides won't it be right before work, you're going to have to be in uniform" i reasoned.

"That won't be making a bad impression?" she said and i laughed. Stef is not one to care too much about her appearance so it's cute that she cares about it now.

"Babe she already met you" i pointed out.

"I know it's just this time is different…" she argued and i laughed.

"It's fine trust me… just be yourself" i said confidently. I know Jenna and Kelly already like her.

"Yeah ok" she said sarcastically. "People say that all the time, you are never suppose to be yourself"

"Relax" i said straddling her back and starting to massage her shoulders. "It'll be fine"

"Can we talk?" she asked tilting her head so she can see me. I continued to massage her shoulders as i nodded.

"Of course what's up?" i asked.

"That nightmare you had last night…" she said and i paused for a second being caught off guard before i kept going.

"You mean the one i told you would happen if you played that stupid movie" i said trying to play it off as nothing.

"Was it about the movie?" she asked as i started to work down her back.

"Yes i just said that" i said and i realized it sounded mean and defensive.

"Sorry i didn't mean it like that" i said and she shifted so she was looking at me.

"Honey i know something is wrong"she reasoned and i sighed. Don't start a relationship off with lying.

"I have nightmares about it occasionally" i said and she sighed.

"Love please stop shutting me out" she said sounding frustrated.

"I'm not…" i said defensively.

"I understand that you don't want too talk about Alisha but what happened is still bugging you and i need to know as your friend… as your girlfriend what's going on" she said. I smiled a little proud that she used the word 'girlfriend' instead of just 'friend' or 'partner'. She's trying and that means a lot.

"I know… i'm sorry" i said.

"Lena you can talk to me" she said holding my hand.

"It's just i keep having a reoccuring dream that she comes back" i admitted.

"How often does it happen?" she asked looking concerned.

"Once twice maybe three times a week" i said not making eye contact.

"Lena look at me" she said and i looked up.

"Love you need to talk to someone. This is happening too often" she said and i sighed. Jenna and Kelly are starting to say the same thing.

"I don't know if that would help" i said. I know my mom would say that it's pathetic to pay someone to sort out my problems.

"And doing nothing about it is?" she said and she has a point.

"I'll think about it, ok" i lied. I don't really want to see a therapist besides i don't even think i could afford one.

"Promise me you will talk to me about it from now on?" she said and i nodded.

Stef

I walked in and Jenna waved me over. I walked over and joined her at the table.

"Hey good morning" she said smiling.

"Good morning" i said and sat across from her.

"Lets make this as painless as possible. Lena is having trouble trusting people and for a good reason…" she paused.

"I know can't blame her"

"Listen back when she was with Alisha we all tried so hard to get her out of it but she wouldn't have it. Interventions, trying to scare some sense into her, she was just so blinded. We aren't going to let that happen again" she said. It's amazing and sad too know how many people were trying to help her. A whole group of friends, her parents and so many people for years were doing everything they could. Jenna, Lenas mom, and another of Lenas friend called the police reporting it but without Lena confirming the abuse it was easily fought off by Alisha's lawyer.

"It won't because i love her and i could never do anything to hurt her." i said and she nodded.

"You seem sincere. You sound like you really do love and care about her." she said and the waiter came over. We both ordered our coffees and then she left.

"I do love her very much" i confirmed.

"Good. So the issue with sexuality isn't an issue than right?" she asked and i guess Lena told her i was closeted.

"Oh yeah thats sorted out" i said and she raised her eyebrows skeptically.

"It can be hard to figure out and come to terms with" she stated and i laughed.

"You got that right"

"Let me guess you're family is religious" she said confidently.

"Yeah my dad is Christian" i said/

'My family were extreme catholics they found out when i was 20 and haven't talked to me since" she said. Thats exactly what i'm afraid of losing my family.

"I'm sorry that had to of been hard" i said sympathetically.

"It was but I got though, thanks to Kelly" she said smiling. They definitely seem in love.

"Thats good" i said and she nodded.

"Actually i need too talk too you about something" i said and she looked confused.

"About what?" she said.

"Lenas nightmares" i responded and she sighed.

"Yeah she gets them all the time. Me and Kelly are really worried we are trying to talk her into getting help" she said. Great they are on my side maybe we can get her to do it together. Although she can be stubborn when she wants to be.

"Good i talked to her about it too and she told me she will think about it"

"Yeah thats what's she's been saying for a few weeks now ever since she got out of the hospital" she said. Great so she was just telling me what i want to hear.

"Why won't she?" i asked.

"Her moms opinionated she doesn't really believe in therapy" she said. Her mom wouldn't disapprove of her daughter getting help in a situation like this, would she? I remember Lena saying she's critical.

"How come?"

"Guess she thinks it's waste of money or something besides i'm sure Lena is concerned about affording it too" she said.

"Money can't really be the issue? The woman center is free for people who go through abusive relationships. Even if she went to an individual therapist insurance should cover it, if not I'll help her out anyway i can." i said and she smiled.

"Thats nice of you but if Lena wanted too she would find a way. I honestly don't think she wants too" she said and i groaned.

"She needs help this isn't healthy" i said and she nodded with me.

"I know we will find a way to convince her" she said but her confidence was lacking. Lena needs this. How is she suppose to ever move on if she's having those nightmares? How could she be able to trust? We need to convince her or she might never recover from the mental wounds.

**Not a very exciting chapter i know but review anyways. **


	17. Chapter 17

**Two weeks later**

Stef

I was heading down to get a coffee with Williams during a quick break from our route and i spotted Lena talking too some girl. I watched as who ever the girl was obviously flirted with Lena and Lena laughed. I wanted to walk over and interrupt them and tell the girl to leave my girlfriend alone but i can't right now.

'What if she likes her back?' my mind said and i wanted to push the thought.

'She probably does, she's laughing'

"Isn't that the Alisha case victim?" Williams asked following my glare.

"Her name is Lena" i yelled before realizing it. I hate when people call her a victim, and i'm sure she does too.

"Whoa there calm down" he said both hands in surrender.

"Isn't that Lena than?" he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Yes"

"What's you're problem?" he asked grabbing his coffee and paying the lady.

"Nothing" i said annoyed. What if Lena doesn't want to be with me anymore.

Lena

Gretchen came up too me and i forced a smile. I'm not really in the mood to talk to anyone but now i'm stuck.

"Hey beautiful" she said. I wish she wouldn't flirt with me.

"Hey Gretchen" i said.

"So i was thinking about trying out the new bar in town i was wondering if you would come with me?" she said confidently. Does this normally work for her?

"I told you i was taken" i said and she laughed.

"Oh come on we can't be friends?" she said and i laughed.

"Something tells me you have no intention of staying friends" i said and she laughed.

"No thats not really my style i don't normally become friends with people i sleep with" she said and i laughed nervously. Man she comes off strong.

"I'm sorry Gretchen but i don't do cheating" i said and turned to leave.

Stef

Williams glared over at me as if he's worried i'm going to attack.

"I'm fine" i said taking a sip of my still burning hot coffee.

"Is it true?" he asked as if i'm just suppose to know what 'it' is.

"Is what true?"

"That you and Lena are together you know… romantically" he said awkwardly. I paused. Great where did he hear that? David probably.

"Where did you hear that?"

"Everyone thinks that's what's happening… and you kinda said it while drunk the last time" he said not looking at me. I should have saw that coming, i can never keep a secret drunk.

"Don't worry i don't judge" he clarified.

"Good for you" i said not sure what to say.

"So are you…"

"Is it any of your fucking business" i yelled having enough.

"Ok sorry" he said and we sat in silence for a while.

"You know it's ok too come out right?" he said and i looked over at him.

"Honestly most people in the station couldn't care less who you are screwing" he said and despite everything i laughed a little.

"I hate you" i said and he laughed.

"I know… oh and if it's any consolation Lena looked like she wasn't interested in the girl back there" he said.

"You sure?" i asked.

"Yeah i'm pretty sure she was looking for a way out of the conversation" he said. He's pretty good at reading people, comes in handy for him while interrogating suspects.

"Thanks"

Lena

I sat in the waiting room waiting for the nurse to call my name. I hate having to go too the doctors, always have,but i have to go have my follow-up appointment. It's hard to believe it's already a month since i was taken to the hospital. Another reason to hate the doctors i have to think about what happened.

"Lena Adams" the nurse called and i got up and followed her. She checked my weight and nodded.

"Down a few pounds but thats expected you will gain them back once you are back too a 100%" she said writing down my weight and then leading me too the room.

"I'm going to take your temperature and blood pressure" she said getting the thermometer.

"98… perfect" she said smiling at me.

She took my blood pressure and then looked up at me.

"Well everything looks good the doctor should be with you shortly" she said. The doctor is never with anyone shortly.

It was about twenty minutes later when he came in and smiled.

"Hello Lena how are you doing?" he said.

"Pretty good"

"Thats always good… you're recovery is amazing" he said.

"Yeah it is" i agreed. A month ago i thought i was going to die and now i'm almost back too 100% and I'll say thats amazing.

"Any chest pain?" he asked.

"Very rarely… but occasionally i will" i said.

"Good… thats normal. Now that you are off you're painkillers you can take ibuprofen, advil any store bought painkiller should help. Do you have pain while moving?"

"Not as much anymore but every once in a while i will" i said. By the end of the appointment they confirmed that i'm healthy enough to be off the medicine and to return to work. I have had classes still but i stopped going to work because they demanded i had a doctors i have a doctors note before i return. Which is good i am dying of boredom and could use an income.

I went back too Stefs apartment after going to get some groceries, because lets face if Stef bought groceries we would starve and live of mac and cheese and sandwiches so clearly someone has too buy it for her. She gave me a copy of the key to her apartment a few days ago.

Flashback

She sat nervously and i could tell she was about to do something that she was nervous about.

"Babe are you ok?" i asked going and sitting next to her.

"I know that we keep saying we are going to take this slowly but…" she said and handed me a ring box. What is she doing?

"Don't worry i'm not proposing i just wanted too… ok just open it" she said and i did as told. Not sure what to expect. A key?

"It's a key to my apartment" she said looking so nervous it's so cute.

"Honey are you sure about this?" i asked.

"Yeah i mean it's not like you would move in but you can come and go. This way you can go in when i have long shifts and not wait for me… it just makes it easier and well…" she said looking almost like she could cry. I leaned in and kissed her.

"I love you" i said then laughed.

"Man you're impulsive" i said.

"No i have been thinking about this for a while actually" she said.

"You're so cute when you're nervous" i said causing her to blush.

Present

A couple of hours later Stef came home and jumped like a foot when she saw me.

"Oh thank god it's just you… i came home and the door was unlocked and then saw someone here and thought there was a burglar" she said her hand still on her gun.

"No just me" i said. "Forget you gave me a key?"

"Yeah very briefly" she finally took her hand off her gun noticing that i kept staring at it. I'm lucky she didn't pull that out as a self defence method. It's seems to be an instinct by now. If she feels uncomfortable, unsafe, and she's still in uniform she will touch it and make sure it's there. If she's not in uniform she just touches her hip and realizes it's not there.

"Sorry i scared you" i said kissing her.

"It's ok" she said going too her room putting her gun away. She's being distant, almost like she's mad at me.

"Are you mad at me?" i asked and she turned around too me.

"Were you flirting with that girl this morning?" she asked. What? Gretchen. How would she know that? Was she following me or something?

"Lena!" she said and i took a step back. I guess out of habit.

"No i wasn't flirting with anyone" i denied.

"Are you sure she knows that?" she said. She's jealous.

"Yeah i told her i'm taken" i said.

"Who was she?"

"I don't know just some bold lesbian" i said. "How did you know that? What are you stalking me?"  
"Stalking?" she said laughing.

"No thats where me and Williams stop to get coffee it was just a coincidence that we were there at the same time." she said. Ok i get the stalking thing probably sounded insane but after Alisha i can't help being paranoid.

"How didn't i see you?" i asked but not accusingly. More to myself than anything else.

"I don't know maybe you were too distracted by that bold lesbian" she said.

"Honey i wasn't flirting i swear" i said.

"It looked like it" she said.

"I wasn't. I wouldn't do that too you" she sighed.

"I'm sorry" she said. "I just got all jealous and thought that maybe you didn't want to be with me anymore"

"What? Honey you know thats not true. I love you, only you" i said and walked over kissing her.

"I'm sorry i got jealous" she said and i laughed.

"Don't be it shows you care" i said playing with her badge.

"I never thought a police uniform could be so sexy" i flirted.

"Oh and officer this is flirting" i said kissing her than started to unbutton her shirt.

"What are you doing?" she asked and i laughed.

"What do you think i'm doing?" i asked stripping down to bra and underwear smiling evilly at her.

**Keep reviewing. Makes my day too read them.**


	18. Chapter 18

Stef

I woke up too see her leaning over me she smiled at me.

"Hey you're awake" she said and i rubbed her back.

"Do we have too get up yet?" i groaned.

"It's a saturday we don't have too get up" she offered and i laughed. Thats perfect.

"Great" i said kissing her.

"Uh but we should probably get up and brush our teeth at least" she said and i sighed.

"Yeah we need to do that" i said following her into the bathroom. After brushing our teeth we jumped back in bed and she curled up on me.

"Last night was amazing" she said. She spent the night getting me too where i'm perfect, i've never enjoyed a lesson so much in my life.

"It was but be honest how embarrassing was i?" i said.

"You weren't you're a fast learner" she said.

"I have a great teacher" i said and she giggled. "I don't know about math but damn you're good at this"

"Don't swear" i reminded her. Only a couple of days ago i asked her if she would please not swear in front of me and she said she will try her best but no promises.

"Sorry"

"I'm sorry i accused you of stalking me yesterday" i said and she looked at me worried.

"Was that because of Alisha?" she asked and i looked down.

"Uh yeah guess i'm just paranoid" i said.

"Love did she stalk you?" she said pushing my head so i was looking at her.

"Um well… occasionally… when she got paranoid and thought i was having an affair" i said.

"Why didn't you say anything about it sooner?" she asked and i just shook my head.

"I don't know didn't think it was a big deal" i said.

"Stalking is a big deal!" she said frustrated. "...And she shouldn't get away with it"

"She's in jail she's not getting away with it" i argued.

"Yeah but not for stalking… she's serving life but she could get parole in the future. Her stalking you could take that option away" she said. Parole? I didn't think about that, that means one day she could be walking the streets again.

"So she could get out?" i asked and she nodded.

"Unfortunately in the future if she behaves in prison she could be allowed" she said rubbing my back. What if she does get out on parole? The first thing she will do is come for me.

Jenna- a few days later

Her nightmares have gotten worse. It seems she's having one a night and she's still not saying yes to therapy. Doesn't she realize she needs it? Me and Kelly decided we need too talk too Stef and figure out a way to convince her. Maybe get her parents involved for some extra help if need be. We need to get her help or she will still be constantly living in fear.

Stef

I picked up the phone, i haven't talked too my mom in forever. We had some brief calls but not much was said and i've been avoiding saying what's been going on. Do i want to tell her?

"Hey mom" i said.

"Hey honey we haven't talked in forever" she said. She got that right. We haven't had a decent conversation in a month and a hell of a lot has happened since then.

"Yeah i know sorry just a lot going on"

"Everything ok?" she asked.

"Yeah just so much at once"

"Is one of those thing a relationship?" she teased and i laughed nervously. Great what am i suppose to say.

"Mom you know i'm content being single" i lied, that used to be the case but then i met Lena.

"I know you say that but you're avoiding the question. Is there a man in your life?" she asked. Well this i can say no too and not be lying.

"No mom there is no man" i said and she sighed.

"Ok fine… no woman in your life either" she said and i paused. Did she actually just ask me that? Does she have tabs on me? She doesn't sound disgusted.

"Uh what?"I asked not sure what else to say. Would she be as understanding she knows the answer is yes or is she just joking.

"I'm just checking… you know i don't care either way right?" she said sounding sincere. Does she mean that?

"You don't?" i asked dumbfounded.

"No as long as you're happy" she said. "Why is there someone?"

"Um well" i said awkwardly.

"Who is she?" she asked apparently really not caring. I forget a lot how different my mom and dad is.

"Her name is Lena"

"How did you meet Lena?" she asked well thats where things get complicated.

"Oh um she was in an abusive relationship and i was called to the scene after she was… stabbed" i said and she gasped.

"Oh my is she ok?" she asked concerned.

"Uh yeah it happened a month ago…"

"A month ago and i'm just hearing about it now" Out of all the things thats not what i expected her to be upset about.

"Sorry we haven't really talked"

"Yeah and that stops now… fill me in" she demanded. Lena came in and i smiled at her.

"Hey" she said.

"Hey i'm on the phone with my mom" i said.

"Who are you talking to?" my mom asked.

"Sorry mom Lena just came home" i said and i could see the surprised look on her face.

"She's living with you?" she asked more surprised by that than me being with a girl.

"No but she has a key to my apartment" i said.

"So you too are getting serious? How long have you been together?" i don't know how to answer that. When did we official get together? Two almost three weeks ago when we said i love yous.

"It's complicated mom. We went through a stage where we were interested in each other but needed time" i said.

"Well i could imagine she was stabbed by someone she was with i'm sure it's hard to come back from that. When am i going to meet her since this is heating up?" she asked.

"I don't know mom you live states away" i said not really wanting her to come out.

"So? I have an extended weekend coming up next week. I'll come out than" she said.

"Oh mom"

"What that and i haven't seen you in such a long time… it'll be nice." she said making it obviously i don't have much of a choice in the matter.

"I'll talk too Lena see if she can" i said getting Lenas attention from the kitchen where she is making supper.

"Oh good i look forward to it… i love the beach haven't been there in a while"

"Alright mom"

"And when i get there i better hear all of this story" she said and i sighed.

"Of course mom. I have to go dinner is done" i lied too get off the phone and Lena laughed.

"Ok honey i love you… call me so we can make arrangements" she said.

"I will love you too" i said hanging up.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

"My mom wants to come out next weekend and meet you" i said.

"Wait does she know?"

"Yeah and guess what, she asked me if i was?" i said and she laughed.

"Wow thats new… so i take it she reacted well?" she asked.

"Yeah i was surprised but she was fine with it"

"Thats great, babe. I work this weekend but maybe after work we can meet up for dinner, i can meet your mom"

"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah i want too… besides you already met my parents" she pointed out.

"Alright guess that means an extended weekend with my mom, yay" i said.

"You'll live" she said and i laughed.

Sharon

I wasn't at all surprised when i heard Stef is with a girl. I knew she was gay since Tess but of course my dumb ex-husband traumatized her. I couldn't confront her on the fact that she was gay because i knew she was in denial and she would only tell me i'm wrong. I'm glad Stef realized too not let her father dictate her life. She seems happy with Lena and i can't wait to meet the girl that made it all happen.

Lena- that next friday

I'm about sick of this therapy idea but they seem to be gaining up together.

"Why are you guys so insistent?" i yelled at Stef. I know she went behind my back and met with Jenna and Kelly about it and i can't help but be mad.

"I'm not a baby i can make decisions for myself" i screamed.

"Apparently not good ones. Do you realize how bad you are getting?" she yelled back at me.

"I'm fine" i said and she looked at the time.

"I have to go pick up my mother" she said and i shook my head. She went to leave and when she was at the door she turned back around.

"I'm just worried about you is all. Like once a night either me, Jenna or Kelly wake up too you having a nightmare. I wake up and comfort you until you feel safe enough to fall asleep again. You need help, Lena, or you won't get better again" she said and she's right.

"I love you" she said walking over and kissing me.

"I love you too" i said.

"We will talk about this when i get back" she said kissing me one more time before she leaves. I sat down and sighed. I hate when they are right.

**Review. Next chapter will have Lena and Sharon meeting.**


	19. Chapter 19

Sharon

We were driving back from the airport and i decided to strike up a conversation about Lena.

"So fill me in" i demanded.

"Ah well i went to visit her the day after she was stabbed…" she started. She went on to tell me how she kept visiting her and how they become friends.

"I went to her friends house where she was staying and we ended up kissing…" she admitted.

"Who kissed who?" i asked.

"I kissed her… the next day was the court day and Alisha claimed Lena had an affair and her lover stabbed her…" she said and i could hear the anger in her words. Can't blame her it makes me mad and i don't know her yet.

"She didn't get away with it her fingerprints were on the knife" Oh thank god.

"You sound like you really care about her" i observed.

"I do… I love her" she said and i smiled. I'm so happy she's finally found love.

Lena

I put on the other dress and looked in the mirror. I walked out so they can give me their opinion.

"You looked good in every single on" Jenna said getting frustrated. Neither Jenna nor Kelly are really people who put a lot of thought into clothes and appearance. So i know this is annoying to them but i need other opinions. I'm meeting Stefs mom today i have too look nice.

"I'm meeting her mom have too look good"

"You do… I thought you had work today" Kelly said.

"So did i… showed up and the other girl was covering my shift guess i didn't have it today… i have work tomorrow. So now i'm going to use it too my benefit" i explained. I don't want to admit i might be losing my job because i have been making a lot of mistakes due to being so tired.

"You want our opinion…"

"Yes" i said, it's about time.

"The purple one looked best" Kelly said and Jenna agreed.

"Thank you" i said and went to go change back into the purple dress. I looked down at the wound. It's healed a lot but the scar will always be there to remind me of what happened. I don't want too look at it and i don't want anyone else too. I remember the first time Stef saw it, right before the first time we had sex.

Flashback

I kissed her and i started to pull her shirt off. I can tell she's nervous, so am i. I have only ever had sex with Alisha. Besides Stef has never slept with a girl before what if I don't satisfy her and she realizes she was straight all along.

She pulled my shirt off and my first instinct was to cover my wound. I don't want her to see it, I'm sure it's a huge turn off.

"Honey" she said putting her hand over mine.

"it's ok" she said. "Let me see"

I didn't answer for a while and she smiled at me.

"Sweetie you are beautiful no matter what" she said and I took my hand off of it. She didn't even look at it as she continued to kiss my neck. Why didn't she look at it?

Stef- present

We sat down at the restaurant a little earlier than our meeting time of seven.

"So hows everything else in your life?" she asked. I've spent the last hour telling her about Lena and the drama of us getting together.

"Pretty good… work is going good should be a lot better once i'm not rookie anymore" i responded.

"Thats good so how are David and Mike?" I have known Mike for sixth years and David for five so my mom has met them both when we in high school.

"There good, thrilled they finally got me with Lena" i said and she laughed.

"So they were trying to get you together too?"

"Yep" i said and waved Lena over who just walked in and was searching for us. She looks beautiful. She has on a tighter, but not too tight, purple dress that comes to her knees and her hair is in a loose ponytail. She smiled at me but i could tell she's nervous.

"It's nice too meet you i'm Sharon" she said before i could introduce them.

"It's nice too meet you to i'm Lena" she said shaking her hand.

Sharon

I watched as my daughter awkwardly kissed Lenas cheek. I can tell she loves her but i can also tell she's still nervous to show any affection in public. It's kinda of like watching too middle schoolers on a date. I watched as Lena tensed up a little too. Isn't she out? Stef told me that she's been with Alisha since she was 19 and has known she was gay since the 7th grade.

"Trust me i have heard a lot about you" i said.

"You have?" she said glaring over at Stef with a teasing smile on her face. Looks like a middle school couple or not they are cute together.

"Yes my mom likes to know every little detail" she said.

"Oh and she could keep the conversation going" i said knowing i'm embarrassing my daughter which after is my goal.

"Mom" she said.

"So Steph told me you are planning on becoming a math teacher" i said smiling at Stef.

"Yes i am… I will be getting my teaching degree next year" she said.

"Thats great Stef was never in too college" i said and she glared at me. I have to admit i'm getting a lot of enjoyment out of it.

"I wanted to become a police officer, mom. You know that" she said defensively.

"I know i'm teasing you darling. You know i'm proud of you for becoming one. Deep down i know it was all you ever wanted too do" i said. Stef always wanted to go into something that helped people.

"You used to go around fake arresting people as a kid, so cute" i said and she groaned.

"Oh really" Lena said smiling at Stef.

"Oh yeah she used to sneak watch all those cop shows i didn't want her too watch because of all the gory details and the fact that you were seven. You thought we didn't know but you would always fall asleep in front of the tv and we would carry you back up" i said and Lena laughed.

"Aww thats cute" Lena said and Stef just glared at me.

"Thanks mom"

"You're welcome darling" I said. The rest of the dinner went by quickly. Lena seems nice and they seem good together. They both seem happy together. The only thing off about Lena is she seemed like she could fall asleep any second. Why isn't she sleeping?

"Is she ok?" i asked Stef after Lena left to go back to her friends place.

"What do you mean?" she asked as if she didn't notice.

"She looked exhausted"

"Oh yeah she's been having nightmares lately" she said awkwardly. Of course why didn't i think of that. Why wouldn't she be having nightmares after that?

"About what happened with Alisha?" i asked and she nodded. I can see how worried she is about her.

"Is she seeing anyone for that?" i asked.

"We are trying to talk her into it" After everything that happened she needs help.

Lena

I came into the house and collapsed into the nearest chair. Feeling myself crying for no reason. I'm so tired. I haven't slept right in like a month and it's getting worse. Jenna and Kelly came downstairs looking worried.

"Lena what's wrong?" Jenna asked sitting on the arm of the chair.

"Did it go badly?" Kelly asked.

"No it went great" i commented and they looked confused.

"Than what's wrong?" Jenna asked.

"I'm so tired i haven't slept right in a month" i said.

"Honey you need help" Kelly said.

"I can't afford it, ok. I'm going to lose my job and i can barely afford to go to school" i said and they looked shocked.

"You're going to lose your job?"

"Yes i haven't done anything right since i came back and they hired a new girl and told me they might be getting rid of a few people. I guarantee i will be the first to go" i admitted.

"Oh honey. It's going to be ok either way. Don't worry about affording it we will help" Kelly said and Jenna nodded.

"I can't ask you to do that" i said.

"You aren't and we are insisting and Stef offered to help too" Jenna said.

"I can definitely not ask her to do that" i said. She offered? She doesn't need to do that this is my problem not hers.

"Again with the asking, you're not. We want to. It's ok too need some help Lena" Kelly said.

"I'm not going to let you, i can figure this out by myself" i said.

**Keep reviewing and let me know what you think should help next.**


	20. Chapter 20

Stef

She put sunscreen on and turned around too me.

"Is Lena meeting us there?" mom asked.

"No she has work" i said. 'And i'm stuck on the beach alone with my mom'

"What a shame. She's a sweet girl" she said. I'm still surprised at how well she's taking everything.

"What?" she asked noticing my look.

"Well for one you just missed you're back" i said and she resprayed.

"Secondly?" she asked.

"Nothing i'm just surprised is all"

"So am i… i never thought i would fit into my last years swim suit but hey life is full of tiny good surprises" she said and i laughed.

"Congratulations" i said and she laughed.

"What are you surprised about?" she said pouring some vodka into a bottle and then filling in the rest with pineapple juice.

"Mom" i said laughing.

"Sorry officer but i'm on vacation i'm allowed to have a drink on the beach" she said and poured me one.

"And you are going to tell me what's surprising you?"

"Nothing i'm just surprised you're taking this so well" i admitted and she turned to me.

"I'm very offended you think i'm your father" she said mock-offensively.

"I'm not nearly as judgemental as him. As far as i'm concerned if she makes you happy i have no problem. The only exception too that is if you don't give me grandkids" she said and i groaned.

"Mom" i said laughing.

"I mean it Stephanie, and not just one i'm talking at least three. Gay or not i don't care find a way" she demanded laughing to herself.

"No rush through you are only 23" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"Alright mom"

"I'm not joking there is no way i'm allowing you to rid me of that" she said picking up the bag.

"Ok ok you'll get grandchildren calm down" i said laughing. If only my dad was like my mom.

Lena

The glass dropped too the floor and shattered. Crap.

"I'm sorry… i'll get you another one in a minute after i clean this" i said too the frustrated woman.

I got the glass off the floor and cleaned up the wine and tried to ignore her stares. I went too go get her wine and a man from the other table called me over.

"Waitress" he said. Great as if this wasn't going badly.

"Can you get me more ketchup?" he asked.

"Yes i'll have that right out for you sir" i said.

I got the ketchup and then filled a glass up with wine. I gave the ketchup too the man and then went to give the wine too the lady who i'm definitely not getting a tip from.I tried my best to steady my hand but when i handed her the wine it spilled all over her.

'Are you freaking kidding me right now?'

"I'm sorry…"

"You should be how hard is it too do your job you're a freaking waitress" she said.

"I'm sorry ma'am i'll get you some napkins" i said walking away.

"Sorry not everyone has daddys money" i whispered walking away. The guy who asked for ketchup heard me and started laughing. I smiled at him glad he has a sense of humor.

I came back with napkins and she groaned.

"No use this is going too stain" she said angrily.

"I'm sorry ma'am" i said.

"Oh it's ok it's not my favorite shirt or anything glad a stupid waitress ruined it" she said.

"Well i'm sorry i'm having a bad day on the job maybe you would know what that feels like if you didn't just live off daddys money" i said and felt like slapping myself. What am i doing?

"Excuse me?" she asked and who i'm guessing is her husband put his hand on her shoulder.

"Honey leave it go" he said receiving a death glare from his wife. I mouthed thank you too him and he smiled at me. I walked over to check on the only other table. The ketchup guy was laughing.

"I'm glad you liked the show" i said and he smiled.

"Very much so… I really hope you don't lose your job over that" he said gesturing to the woman who is ranting too her husband.

"Oh it's ok i was going to lose it anyways glad i got the last laugh at least" i said laughing.

"Well sounds like you're going to need a nice drink later" he said.

"Yeah pretty much is there anything else i can get you?" i asked.

"You're number so i can take you too get that drink?" he asked and i paused.

"Sorry sir thats not on the menu" i said and he laughed.

"Oh well guess we are both having a bad day aren't we" he said. "Better make it another wine"

"Be right out sir" i said.

"Oh and waitress" he said and i turned around to him.

"Yes?"

"try to get it on the table" he joked and i faked laughed.

"Oh you're funny i'll do my best" i said got his wine and then the boss called me over.

"What happened with that lady?" she asked and i sighed.

"I'm sorry"

"I have tried too be patient knowing what just happened but i'm sorry i don't think that you should be working anymore" i sighed and forced a smile.

Stef

My phone buzzed and i looked too see i got a text from Lena.

Lena: Bad day at work where r u?

Me: beach got alcohol u ok

Her: alcohol on the beach? Isn't that prohibited officer

Me: what they don't know won't hurt em

Her: You're leading a double life officer Stephanie Elkin

I laughed and my mom glanced over at me.

"What you laughing at smiley?" I rolled my eyes.

"Lena shes coming down to the beach"

"Oh good" she said.

"Yeah and you can go talk to that guy you have been drooling over" I teased. She's been staring down this man for a half hour now.

"I was not" she denied.

"Sure those sunglasses are serving two purposes."

"Alright sue me just because I'm old doesn't mean I'm dead" she said and I laughed.

Lena came down and put out the towels so we can sit on them.

"Hey gorgeous" I flirted handing her my drink.

"What is it?l" she asked.

"pineapple juice and vodka, my moms idea, although she claims its better with coconut rum but the liquor store was out" I explained and she laughed.

"It is better with coconut rum" she said taking a sip of it. I laughed.

"Thanks"

"Sure what happened at work" I asked

"Got fired some woman was mouthing off to me because I accidently spilled wine on her and I didn't keep my cool" she said and I laughed.

"What did you say?" Mom asked.

"Told her that I was having a bad day at work and that she wouldn't know what it's like since she lives off of daddy's money" she said and I laughed.

"Ah I lost a waitressing job the same way" mom said.

"You alright?"i asked taking her hand.

"Yeah just long day." she said taking a long sip of the pineapple drink.

"I would say" i said and she yawned.

"Tired?"

"Yeah" she said taking her cover up off and falling asleep.

We got home and she was still half asleep.

"Come on I'm taking you to my bed" I said leading her. She's drank the bottle of pineapple vodka in between cat naps. Once she finished the bottle she nagged me for more despite me not having any more. I gave in and went back to make her another two bottles which she drank a bit too fast. So now i have a tipsy sleepy Lena too deal with. I got her up too my bedroom and she laid on the bed. Falling asleep immediately.

"Wow you were tired" i said pulling the sheet from under her and covering her up. She curled up too my pillow while still some how having ownership of the one on her side. I sighed.

"Gee thanks a lot" i said. I took a shower and then got into bed. I wrapped my arm around her and she curled up abit giving me access to the one pillow and able to move her so i have some room. All while she stayed asleep.

Lena

I sat down knowing she not going to let this go.

"You need it Lena" she said.

"What is it about? You're mom, money what?" she said and i looked at her.

"What does it have anything to do with my mom?" i argued.

"Jenna and Kelly seem too think you aren't getting help because you're mom will think it's a waste of money or something" she argued.

"She taught me if i have a problem to fix it myself" i told her and she sighed.

"Your moms not always right. You don't have to do everything alone" she said.

"I can't ask you to help me pay for it" i said and she shook her and sat next too me.

"Why i'm more than willing to help" she said.

"This isn't your problem, Stef. Ok it's mine and i'll figure out a way to deal with it"

"Thats not how relationships work, love. It's not your problems and my problems it's our problems and we will figure them out together. We are in this together, whether you like it or not" she said grabbing my hand.

"Really?" i ask and she nodded. I leaned in and kissed her feeling her arm wrap around my waist pulling me closer. We broke apart and i smiled at her.

"I love you" she said.

"Love you too, and i guess we can look into it" i said and she smiled.

"It's about time, geez" she said and i played slapped her.

"Thank you" i said.

"For what?"

"Everything" i said simply. All i can say is i'm so glad she was the one called too the scene that day.

**Ugh sorry that chapter wasn't very good compared to the others. I'll try to make the next chapter so much better. Please review anyways it will encourage me to give you another chapter before the episode tonight.**


	21. Chapter 21

Lena

Today is my first appointment and i'm dreading it. Nothing like two hours, starters appointment is two the rest is only one, of talking about how i feel with a perfect stranger. Sounds awful but i know i need it if nothing else to get them off my back. Stef agreed to take me, maybe too make sure i will go, which i'm thankful for.

"Do we have to go?" i asked and she laughed.

"Yes we have too" she said. "You will be fine"

We got there and sat in the waiting room.

"I'm gonna run a few errands and come back when you're done if thats ok with you?" she asked and i sighed.

"Yeah go ahead ditch me" i said.

"I won't if you don't want me too" she said.

"I'm kidding i will be fine, it's not like you're doing me any good in the waiting room" i said.

"Ok i'll be here when you get out… i'll be fine" she said.

"Lena Adams" the woman said and i got up.

"Youll be fine" she said and i followed the woman.

"It's nice too meet you. I'm Grace Jameson" she said and i shook her hand.

"Nice too meet you to" i said.

"So we will talk about what's going on for the first hour or so and then discuss how we will go about treating it" she said pointing for the chair and i sat down.

"Ok" i said and she sat in the seat across from me.

"So would you like to tell me why you're here?" she asked smiling politely.

"Um well…" i started.

"Anything you tell me is confidential and will stay between me and you" she promised.

"I know… i was in an abusive relationship" i started.

"That had to have been hard on you" she said sympathetic.

"Yeah it was… a month or so ago i told her i wanted to break up…" i said. What is with me and pausing?

"How did she react to that?" she asked.

"She stabbed me" i said and she looked at me shocked.

"Oh god are you ok?" she asked concerned.

"Yeah i'm almost back too 100% the doctors say" i said.

"Wow thats an impressive recovery"

"Yeah the cops got her and she's serving life" i said and she smiled.

"Thats good" she said not phased by me being with a girl. Guess it's her job not too react to that type of stuff. She can't go around offending her patients.

"Have you been having nightmares about it?" she asked.

"Pretty much every night since i woke up from surgery" I admitted.

"Alright well what happens in these nightmares" she asked.

"Uh she comes back either she stalks me through town or i'm back with her at the house" i said feeling like i'm confessing some terrible secret.

Stef

I sat down and she stared at me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked as the cop walked over to stand on the corner.

"Listen i need you too stop calling her" i said. While Lena was asleep after getting tipsy on the beach she got a call from the local prison i know who it was.

"What are you talking about?" she said leaning forward like she was going too hit me. I'm not afraid of her.

"You calling Lena the other night it needs to stop, now" i said not backing down.

"And i need you too stop screwing my girlfriend but i don't see that happening" she said and i wanted to punch her so bad.

"She isn't your girlfriend…. you screwed up majorly and now you need to leave her the hell alone. Do you understand me?" i shouted being a cop i actually was allowed to have her in the room we use to investigate people in so we are alone minus the cop.

"No i don't officer. You need to understand me. She was mine first and now she's just confused. Once she realizes i didn't do this too her she will come back too me and you will be history" she said.

"Shut the fuck up" i yelled and the cop bit his lip not too laugh.

"Alright she was yours and then you went and beat her and stabbed her leaving her for dead do you really think for a second she would even humor the idea of ever being with you again" i said.

"I didn't do any of that" she said simply.

"You're delusional" i said.

'No i'm not you cops have the wrong person and then go and brainwash my girlfriend" she said and the cop gave me a look of 'Just walk away, Stef'. How can i just walk away i have never hated someone so much in my life. For the first time in my life i really wish someone would die.

"She's not you're fucking girlfriend and we didn't brainwash her." i yelled and she started laughing. What a sick bitch does she really think this is funny.

"Wow you actually love her" she said laughing.

"Yes i love her" i said.

"She isn't who you think she is. She's a whore" she said and i snapped.

"Don't call her that you fucking bitch" i said getting ready too hit her when he pulled me back.

"Walk away officer" he said walking me too the door. He locked it and then followed me out.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I could fucking kill her" i yelled.

"I know which is why i got you out of there. She's not worth it ok so walk away" he said.

"She's harassing Lena, after everything she's been through because of her." i said.

"And i will take away her phone rights as for you take a deep breath and recover from the dose of testosterone your body just gave you" he said and i leaned against the wall taking a deep breath.

"Feel a little better" he asked.

"Yeah thanks" i said going to walk away but turned around.

"Can you do me one more quick favor?" i asked.

"Yeah sure" he said.

"Tell her i am having sex with Lena and better than she ever could" i said and he laughed.

"Got it officer… maybe you should sit for a while before driving" he said concerned and i started laughing.

"Yeah i wouldn't have said that if i wasn't still on testosterone" i said and he laughed.

"I won't tell anyone" he said.

"Thanks" i said sitting for a bit before leaving to go be back in time for Lena.

Lena

"Do you ever find yourself triggered into one of these panic attacks when around something that would remind you of Alisha?" she asked.

"I had a panic attack when walking down main street a while back. Where i thought she was stalking me and it was the same road she actually followed me down the one time" i said.

"Ok well what i think is happening is that you have a moderate form of PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is normal after going through what you have been through." she said. PTSD?

"What does that mean?" i said.

"It means that you are triggered too have these panic attacks when something that reminds you of it happens" she said.

"I know i mean what are we going to do about that?" i asked.

"Well in therapy we are going to have you talk more about what happened then and how it's affecting you now and how we can get you back to where you need to be. Also we will start talking about how to handle those anxiety attacks and bring yourself down from them and hopefully get these nightmares too lessen significantly until you aren't having them anymore. But it's going to take a lot of work on your part too" she said and i nodded.

"Who are you living with now?" she asked.

"Um my friends Jenna and Kelly and i spend a lot of nights at Stefs house" i said.

"Ok i think your next appointment which is next week we need to have them all come so we can all sit down and talk about how they can help you when i can't" i nodded.

"Uh yeah i'll make sure thats ok with them" i said. We left the room and went back out too the waiting room.

"Is that Stef?" she asked.

"Yeah thats her." i said.

"Hello i'm Grace Jameson her therapist" she said holding her hand out for Stef too shake.

"Stephanie Elkin it's nice too meet you" she said.

"Like wise… i was wondering if her next appointment if you and Jenna and Kelly could come so we can talk about how you guys can help her" she said.

"Oh yeah of course we'll be there, no problem" she said.

"Good i'll see you all next week then" she said smiling and heading back to her office.

"How did it go?" Stef asked as we went to leave.

"Not as bad as expected" i answered quickly.

"So what did she say?" she asked.

"Oh um" i said as we left the room and got into an empty elevator.

"It's ok you can tell me… nothing too be embarrassed about" she said and i smiled.

"She thinks it's a moderate form of PTSD" i said so quietly that she probably could barely hear me.

"Hey it's ok we will figure it out together" she said rubbing my back.

"Yeah thanks" i said. "So how was running errands?"

"Ok took care of some business" she said. It was something about how she said it that made me worried. Like she did something she doesn't want me to know about.

Forcing a smile i said,"Thats good" Great the one person i was really starting to actually believe i could count on is now lying to me.

**Thank you guys for the wonderful reviews on the last chapter. It makes my day when i think a chapter is bad and people seem to think otherwise. I have to be a critic of my own stuff because before fanfiction i was my only critic. Sometimes i can be a bit hard on myself through and it nice to hear good comments.**

**Please keep reviewing if you haven't noticed at the point of writing this i have 99 reviews and i can't wait to say i have 100. thank you to everyone reading this **


	22. Chapter 22

Stef

We got there and all i could do was stare. She was laying dead on the ground having been stabbed multiple times. All my mind could think was 'this could have been Lena'.

"Fuck" i heard myself say but didn't realize it was me at first. I ran out the door and puked, Williams coming after me.

"You ok?" he asked.

"She's dead" i said. "Fuck… we were fucking late"

"Stef there's was nothing we could have done" he said and i turned to him tears in my eyes. He's been working as a cop for over ten years now he's seen plenty of dead people, been too late too many times.

"We could have got here sooner"

"We went as fast as we could Stef" he said.

"We could have done something… a woman is dead. How could it be as simple as there was nothing we could have done?" i said and he put his hand on my back.

"Stephanie this isn't your fault the only person at fault is her terrible husband that is going to jail for a long time" he said.

"Do you think that makes a difference too her family her friends?" i shouted.

"Him going to jail isn't going to bring her back" i said.

"No unfortunately it won't but hopefully it will give her family and friends some peace and justice" he said.

"Listen i understand this has to be hard on you, it shows you're human" he said.

"The worst part about our job is that unfortunately not all cases end well and some innocent people die or live through hell and every time it hurts too see. The thing is through you have to remind yourself why you are doing this job… to help people. Think about everybody you have saved or helped thats why you keep going." he said.

"How do you tell the difference between coping with it and just going cold?" i asked.

"That day you walk into a crime scene and see someone who has gone through hell or has passed away and you don't feel a thing is when you know you have gone cold. It's never going to happen to you" he said patting me on the back.

"I'm gonna suggest leaving taking a half day before the ambulance gets here too take her away, we don't need more puke" he said.

"I can't just leave" i said. I still have some much paperwork too do on this.

"Uh already becoming a bit of a cop stereotype… you're becoming a workaholic. If someone gives you a half day you go" he said and i laughed.

"But…" i started.

"But nothing, captain would send you home anyways might as well leave now… we got it from here rookie" he said.

"Are you sure?" i asked.

"Go home or i will make you" he joked and i left.

Lena

Jenna sat there looking at me like i just landed on planet Earth.

"Are you kidding me right now?" she asked.

"You assume she's having an affair or worse because she said she took care of some business after she told you she would be running errands"she said and i get it sounds paranoid but excuse me for be cautious.

"It's just how she said it and she didn't have groceries or anything" i said and she glared at me.

"Really? Maybe she had too go too the bank or do something for work" she argued.

"Two hours to go to the bank?" i said and she sighed.

"Ok honey i love you and all but you really are starting to sound like that crazy girlfriend meme." she said and i rolled my eyes.

"Sorry i'm a little paranoid" i said.

"Ask her about it and i'm sure she will say something that will easily fall into the category 'errands'... just please don't research her or something" she said and i sighed.

"Fine" i said surrendering.

"Do you have crackers or something here?" i asked as the nausea came back. Ever since i woke up i have been having waves of nausea and i hope i'm not getting sick.

"Yeah why?" she asked.

"I keep feeling a little sick" i said and she handed me some crackers.

"Thanks" i said.

"Sure, hope you're not getting sick"

"Me too" i said.

Stef

I came home just wanting to curl up in bed. No matter what Williams says i still feel like what happened to her is my fault. I know i didn't stab her but is there some way we could have saved her. Gotten there sooner and got her to the hospital and save a life or stopped it before it happened. I know it's impossible to expect that we could know when someone is being abused before someone reports it. A woman lost her life today because we couldn't get there any faster. How is that fair?  
Instead of going home and curling up in bed i came home and Lena was here starting to cook lunch.

"Oh hey i didn't think you were going to be home" she said.

"Neither did i" i said under my breath grabbing a beer from the fridge.

"Did something happen?" she asked looking concerned.

"Uh we lost someone today" i said not making eye contact.

"Oh honey" she said going over and hugging me.

"If we would have just gotten there a little bit sooner" i said trying to keep myself from crying only to fail.

"This isn't your fault, Stef. You can't blame yourself for what someone else did" she said.

"She died" i said.

"You can't save everyone… you have too remember the good stuff" she said and i laughed.

"Yeah Williams said the same thing" i said.

"And he's right, ok. You have too remember the people you have saved." she said and i took a long sip of beer.

"I thought i was going to die that day, Stef" she said getting my attention. I looked up at her and she continued.

"Than you and your partner should up and you got down there with me, told me there's even the slightest hope i could make it…. You saved my life" she said.

"You saved that Penelope girls life and you could never know how much that means to us. I could never thank you enough for that. Don't forget that" she said tears in her own eyes.

"You don't have too thank me" i said and she smiled at me.

"I'm always here if you want to talk" she said.

"All i could think about is you" i admitted and she sat down and i sat next to her.

"What do you mean?"

"She was a victim of domestic abuse her husband stabbed her three times" i said awkwardly.

"Thats terrible" she said shaking her head then she looked to be a bit sick.

"You ok?" i asked.

"Uh yeah i just have been feeling a bit sick all day" she said. I hope she's not getting sick thats the last thing she needs. I put my hand on her forehead and she was a little warm but not too hot.

"You're a little warm let me take your temperature" i said going to get the thermometer.

"I'm ok just a little nauseous" she called after me.

"I'm still taking your temperature" i said bringing it back. She put it under her tongue and in a minute or so it beeped. 99 not too bad but she's probably going to have a bad fever tomorrow.

"99 you'll live" i said. "Lets eat lunch and then you should take a nap"

"I'm not tired" she argued but after supper when we were watching a movie she fell asleep on me.

"Yeah not tired" i said tucking her in.

The next morning i woke up too her holding onto me for dear life while shaking really badly. Yeah she's sick. If she wasn't laying 100% on me i would go get her another blanket but i guess i'll have to try and keep her warm just by holding her. She woke up a half an hour later.

"I don't feel good" she complained.

"I'm sorry, love. If you get off of me i'll get you another blanket" i said and she got off.

"Make it like five" she said. Man she's cold but having her laying on top of me was making me sweat. I grabbed the thermometer and three blankets and went back into the bedroom. She was in the bathroom obviously having just puked. I took one of the blankets and wrapped it around her.

"You ok?" i asked after a bit of her not puking and she nodded. I guided her into the bedroom and then grabbed the blankets and thermometer. 102 maybe i need to get her to the ER. After all she's still recovering from being stabbed and now she has a fever of a 102 thats high no matter what.

"Honey you have a fever of a 102 maybe i should take you to the ER" i said getting more and more worried as time passes. She nodded and i kept her wrapped up in a blanket and drove her to the ER just hoping she will be ok.

**Let me know what you think**


	23. Chapter 23

Stef

I sat in the waiting room with her for over an hour. I have never seen anyone so sick. I kept the blanket around her as i pulled her into my chest attempting to give her warmth and comfort. I couldn't care less about the looks we were getting. Let them judge, all i'm doing is trying to help the woman i love though being this sick. When we finally got in the took her temperature, 103. Her temperature is rising?

"It was 102 this morning" i said for her.

"Her stab wound is probably infected." the doctor said to me. Infected? I thought it was supposedly healed. Now it's infected and making her ill.

"Lena can i lift up your shirt?" the doctor asked her. She pulled her shirt up and i grabbed her hand. Yeah thats infected.

Lena looked over at me and i smiled.

"Stef"she said.

"It's not that bad, love." i said. It's bad. "I'm here"

A little more than an hour later i was sitting holding Lenas hand as she sleeps. They put her on some serious antibiotics and since she was dehydrated they had a drip in her arm. Jenna called me.

"Hey is Lena ok?" She asked.

"She's asleep, her wound is infected and she is running a fever of 102" I said at least her fever is dropping.

"Oh my God... she's that bad" she said.

"Yeah her fever has dropped from 103" I said. "They have her on a strong antibiotics and they think she will be well enough to be released from the hospital tomorrow."

"Oh good is she coming back to your place afterwards?" she asked.

"Yeah i think it's best for her not to be bouncing from house to house for a while. I'll come by and grab some of her stuff"

"Alright if you need help with her just call" she offered. Lenas friends are great but they seem overprotective of her at times. Which I guess is because of Lenas past with Alisha. Sometimes i wonder if it's ever been because of feelings that go past friendship. I mean Lena probably turned to them for comfort when Elisha was well Alisha. After a while wouldn't things heat up?

My thoughts were interrupted by Lenas phone ringing. I picked it up and looked at the caller I.D which said Dad. I'm sure Jenna and Kelly told them about Lena. I should make sure they know what's happening.

"Hello this is Steph" i said.

"Oh Steph hey. Are you with Lena? Is she ok?" he asked.

"Yeah i am, she's getting better. Her fever dropped from of 103 to 102 and is still dropping" i informed them and could hear the worried sighs from him and his wife.

"They believe her temperature will be back to normal sometime tomorrow" I assured them.

"Oh good… so her wound was infected?" he asked.

"Yeah they took her off the medicine before thinking her wound was healed. Now they are saying that with her barely sleeping for a month her immune system was bad allowing it to get infected." i explained.

"Ok… why wasn't she sleeping for a month?" he asked. Guess Jenna and Kelly didn't tell them about her nightmares.

"She wasn't sleeping well because she kept having nightmares" i said smiling at Lena who thankfully is sleeping peacefully.

"Nightmares?"

"Yeah she's anxious about Alisha returning. We keep telling her Alisha isn't coming back but she's paranoid" I said.

"Maybe she should talk to someone" he said. Guess he doesn't share his wife supposed belief that therapy is never the answer.

"We just managed to convince her to get help. She had her first appointment two nights ago."

"Good she needs it" he said and Lena whimpered in her sleep announcing another nightmare. So much for her sleeping peacefully.

"She's having another nightmare… i'll keep you posted. Bye Stewart"i said hanging up. I took her hand and squeezed it. She stirred and woke up.

"Stef" she moaned.

"I'm here you're safe… she can't hurt you anymore" i said kissing her forehead.

"Stay with me" she begged.

"Of course love. I'm not going anywhere, i'm right here" i told her.

"Cuddle" she said giving me a pouty face.

"Honey" i said.

"I'm not going to give up so you might as well give up" she said and i laughed. She's stubborn i would never win against her. I sat next to her and she turned into me snuggling up.

"I love you" she said.

"I love you too babe" i said and she went back to sleep. She woke up a few hours later and she feeling a lot better. Her fever was back down to 99 thanks to the medicine and sleeping the worst off. The color has come back to her face. I never thought id see her caramel colored skin so pale.

"Thanks for staying with me" she said as if i was going to leave.

"Of course where else would i go?" i asked and she looked down.

"I don't know…" somethings obviously bugging her.

"Love talk too me" i said and she looked back up at me.

"A few days ago when i had my first appointment, you know…." she said and i sighed. I didn't want too tell her that i went to yell at her terrible ex and almost hit her.

"...Where were you?" she asked like she shouldn't be asking.

I have too tell her the truth, she already seems to be questioning trusting me. I know i need to fully earn her trust and keep it.

"I should have told… i'm sorry." i started.

"Told me what?"she asked looking guarded.

"The day you got tipsy on the beach when you were asleep Alisha called you. I went to confront her on it and too be honest it almost turned violent" i admitted and she sighed.

"Stef…" she said.

"I'm not normally a violent person" i said hoping she's not getting the wrong idea out of this.

"I know thats what concerns me… what did she say to you?" she asked leaning her head on my shoulder.

"She kept calling you her girlfriend and i just snapped i guess. I have never hated someone so much in my life. All i could think about was all she did too you and how she hurt you" i confessed. She smiled at me and kissed me.

"You're not a violent person, you're protective there's a difference. It's sweet that you stuck up for me like that but please tell me, ok" she said and i nodded.

"Her phone rights were taken away" i informed her.

"Good I don't want too hear anything from her. Anything else you want to admit while we are having this conversation?" she asked.

"Well i had Jacob the cop there too tell Alisha that i am having sex with you and better than she ever could" she laughed.

"Oh well you're definitely right about that" she flirted.

"Well you definitely are feeling better" i commented and she laughed.

"Still a little nauseous but it'll pass that medicine was maracle working" she said.

"Yes and you have to take it for two more weeks twice a day so get used to it" i said and she groaned.

"Really?"

"Yes and you're therapist appointment is in a couple of days and in two weeks you have your follow up appointment" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah… what are you my date book? Alright whens my dentist appointment… i hate the dentist" she said and i laughed. Who doesn't hate the dentist?

"Yeah everyone does and you're parents called to check on you… you should probably call them back and let them know you lived through the night." i said.

"Alright" she groaned and i laughed.

Lena- a week later

We were walking through town, not holding hands since we are both a little freaked out about public display of affection, when some guy came up to us. He looked to be maybe sixty i would say and came right up too Stef.

"Dad hey" she said awkwardly. Oh this should be interesting. They hugged awkwardly. It seems like they are both pretending to be happy to see each other. Like they haven't hugged in forever. Kind of sad interaction between father and daughter. Me and my dad have never been that distant i can't imagine it.

"Hey"

"Oh sorry Dad this is my friend Lena, Lena this is my dad Frank" she introduced us. I forced a smile, 'my friend,Lena' i'm back too that.

"Nice too meet you" i said shaking his hand. I can tell Stef knew she did something wrong because she gave me an apologetic look. I know she's still scared to come out too her dad and thats why i'm 'friend' again, but it's still hard to not take it personally.

"You to" he said. If only he knew who i really was too his daughter. Would he ever talk to her again?

**Sorry about the wait, i had vacation than my family being out and all this stuff it's been hard to find time to write. Starting saturday i should be back to writing and posting often. **

**So i'm thinking of doing a few more chapters and then skipping a lot of time and writing about how the came too have the family they do now. What do you think? Otherwise it will probably die in a few chapters. I could bring Alisha back because she's released on parole, just throwing some ideas at me. Let me know what you think i should do.**


	24. Chapter 24

Stef

The second the word friend came out of my mouth i knew i was in trouble. I can't help it i panicked. I saw my dad and i just couldn't say 'oh hey dad this is my girlfriend, like romantically. Now don't talk too me for the rest of my life because i know i'm just a disappointment too you'.

Lena glared at me the second we got back too my apartment.

"I'm sorry i didn't…" i apologized and she nodded her head.

"Right" she said sitting down and turned on the t.v.

"I just saw him and…" i started.

"Am i really that little of importance too you? That after everything i'm just 'friend' again" she yelled and i shook my head, no.

"No Lena you know thats not the case. I love you" i said sitting next too her.

"I know he is homophobic but… i don't want too feel like an embarrassment too you." she said and i shook my head.

"No it's not…" i said sighing i took her hand. "Love you could never be an embarrassment. I just panicked is all"

She sighed,"I know… i shouldn't have expected you too just come out like that. I told you i will give you time too come out and so i will."

"You sure?" i asked sighing of relief. Thank god she's so understanding.

"Of course nobody should come out before there ready, and when you are i will be here" she said smiling at me.

"Thanks" i said laughing nervously.

"What no kiss?" she teased and i pulled her into a kiss.

"I love you" i whispered into her ear.

"Love you too" she said kissing me again.

Lena-flashback

Her hand ran up my leg and under my dress. I feel like i can't get oxygen, like she's suffocating me.

"Stop" i said but her hand kept moving upwards and she pulled my underwear down.

"I said stop" i shoved her back and she looked at me shocked.

"What the hell?" she asked stabilizing herself again.

"I said stop" i said starting too cry a bit.

"Sorry" she said leaning forward. "What's wrong?"

"I just feel claustraphobic in here" i said getting out of the car.

"Sorry my roommate has her family over and we certainly can't do anything at you're house" she said.

"We don't need too do anything" i argued shaking since it's cold outside but i need the fresh air. I couldn't breath in there.

"No of course not… i'm sorry babe. I just didn't hear you say stop" she lied. How could she not of heard me say stop?

"Honey it's cold come back inside" she said and i shook my head.

"No i need a second… i felt like i couldn't breath in there" i said and she got out and put a sweatshirt around my shoulders.

Present

She handed me the glass of wine and sat down next too me. I smiled at her a little embarrassed about my freak out.

"Sorry" i said taking a sip of wine.

"Don't be" she said shocked.

"Love if you don't want too than say something it's ok. We don't have too,alright. We can always just watch a crappy movie eat take out and just cuddle on the couch" she said and i smiled at her. She wasn't being sarcastic about the crappy movie we have a habit of watching bad movies on purpose and than making fun of them.

"I wanted too i just…" i said pulling a blanket around me. I can't help but feel violated, not by Stef, but because of the memory. Me being in lingerie only isn't helping either.

"It's ok, Lena, really. Do you want too talk about it?" she asked and for once i actually do want too.

"I was nineteen… and me and Alisha went on a date but we couldn't go back too her place because her roommates family was out and we couldn't go back too my house because of my parents…" i started awkwardly. Yeah nothing like talking about my ex and i going too have sex with my girlfriend.

"... Anyways um… we were in her car and you know things heated up" i continued. This is so awkward. Stef kept looking down but took my hand.

"I started too feel claustrophobic and so i told her too stop and she kept going"I said this getting Stef attention. She gave me a concerned look and i know what she's thinking i'm going too tell her.  
"She didn't rape me or anything" i denied her silent question.

"I shoved her off of me and than she claimed she didn't hear me tell her too stop." i finished and she kissed my hand.

"I just couldn't breathe when she was coming on too me…" i said tears in her eyes.

"And thats how you felt with me?" she asked squeezing my hand.

"No… well yes but it's not you. It's just…" i said. The PTSD?

"It's ok i understand… lets go get on some pjs and we can just watch tv and eat junk food" she said smiling at me and i nodded. That sounds great right now.

We went into her bedroom and she gave me a pair of pjs.

"Um this might sound stupid but do you mind if…" i started.

"I change in the bathroom? No thats what i was planning on doing" she said as if she read my mind.

"Thanks" i said watching as she went into the bathroom closing the door behind her. What's wrong with me?

Stef

I'm stuck at work and Lena, Jenna and Kelly decided too go out for the night. I told Lena i was fine with it after all i'm not going too dictate her life, she probably got it a lot from Alisha. It's just a night out a few drinks nothings going too happen, right? I can't help but feel a bit jealous. Three lesbians go too a bar? Yeah i feel like the joke doesn't end how i want it too.

Mike sat next too me and moved his hand in front of my face.

"Earth too Stef" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"What?" i asked irritable.

"Geez just because you're pmsing doesn't mean you have too take it out on me" he said and i hit him.

"Ow what's you're problem? Just because you are trying too pretend too be a boy here doesn't mean you are one" he teased and i rolled my eyes.

"I'm not pmsing, asshole" i said.

"Than what the hell is you're problem?" he asked.  
"Really?" i asked annoyed.

"What" he asked innocently. "I thought you weren't my bitch" I rolled my eyes laughing.

"I'm not you're bitch, go screw someone else" i shouted and he laughed. The cops at the station looked over at me and i smiled innocently.

"Alright than you have too tell me what's you're problem and i don't have too figure it out myself, you can't have it both ways" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"Lena, Jenna and Kelly are going out tonight" i said and he gave me the 'ok go on' motion with his hand. So i guess i'm just being a jealous bitch.

"I don't know i'm not exactly thrilled that i'm not going" i said.

"Uh yeah it's been a while since you got wasted, the last time you blabbed about being with Lena. Maybe next time you will inform us about you're sex life" he joked pretending too be excited. Men.

"I would call you a son of a bitch but you're mom is really a nice person" i said and he laughed.

"You jealous?" he asked opening a bag of chips from the vending machine and eating one.

"No" i denied and he glared at me.

"Oh come on. You are an extremely jealous person when you actually care about someone" he pointed out and i rolled my eyes.

"Am not" i lied. I kind of am.

"Right" he said sarcastically.

"Ok so maybe i am jealous. It's just she's going with them and i don't know three lesbians going too a gay bar…" i said and he laughed.

"Oh i don't think i heard this one yet" he said agreeing that it sounds like the begining of a homophobic joke.

"Where is there a gay bar?" he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Why you looking too meet someone?" i asked and he laughed.

"Oh you're funny. I was just curious why David hasnt tried too take us there" he said and i laughed.

"It's not an actual gay bar but it's known for it's gay community and David dated the bartender there. Remember Kyle?" i asked and he groaned.

"Oh my god he was so annoying. They were 'so in love'..." Mike said putting air quotes around so in love. David claimed Kyle was the one for him and they fell in love and all that and than Kyle went and slept with two other men.

"...yeah that went well" i finished. David still has yet too date again but he is claiming he's waiting for 'macho man' too turn gay which Mike doesn't like.

"Anyways you could pull a David and show up after you're shift… or i don't know trust her" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"I do trust her it's just i don't know… they have so much history" i said. Jenna and Kelly have known Lena for so long now and i have known her for a few months. They were the ones there too help her though the drama with Alisha.

"So? They are friends besides they might have history but you met her by saving her life. Thats a connection that can't be replaced by years" he said.

"Oh and I would like too hear the end of that joke" he said getting up and leaving. I rolled my eyes.

Connection that can't be replaced by years? I know he's right and i know Lena won't do that. Jenna and Kelly are together i'm sure they won't do that either. I'm just being jealous. Try trusting her.

I sat back in the chair and finished the paperwork. I finished the shift and went home, made myself some mac and cheese and a sandwhich and passed out in front of the tv. Only too wake up too a drunk Lena trying and failing too get the key in the door. I looked at the time, 3 oclock well i will assume she had fun.

"Stef the key don't work" she complained and i opened the door for her.

"Oh it worked" she said laughing.

"Sure it did" i said leading her into the house.

"Have fun?"

"Uh huh but i couldn't wait til i got home and had sex with you… you were all i could think about." She said laughing and than almost falling over. I held her steady and she kissed me.

I do trust her and i know i need too. If i don't how is she ever suppose too trust me. Trust is something that has too be earned and i want too earn hers and keep it.

**Let me know what you think.**


	25. Chapter 25

Stef- a few months later

Lena has all but moved in officially she has all her stuff here and we got into a routine with each other. We just haven't made it official that she won't be staying with Jenna and Kelly anymore, and i want too.

"Hey love" i said wrapping my arms around her waist as she cooked supper.

"Hey baby, good day at work" she asked kissing me.

"Yeah guess so… same old you know" i said grabbing a piece of chicken.

"Hey hey… you will not be allowed in the kitchen while i'm if you steal food. Supper will be done in fifteen minutes you will live" she said and i sighed.

"Sorry mommy i only had one piece" i said innocently.

"Ha right didn't anyone teach you not to steal food from a woman with a knife" she said holding up the big sharp knife.

"Ok i'll behave" i said hands up in surrender backing away. She laughed and went back to making the chicken casserole thing. My cell rang and i looked down too see it was Mike calling.

"Hey what's up" i said.

"Hey listen you're dad came in looking for you after you left working looking mad saying he needs to speak with you immediately. I think he might know you are with Lena" he warned. He better be kidding me.

"Mike you better be joking" i said seriously getting a look from Lena.

"I'm not and David made things worse" he said and i groaned.

"Of course David made things worse. David always makes things worse, someone needs to duct tape his mouth shut" i said and Mike laughed.

"What did David do?"

"Well he gave your dad a lecture on being a loving acceptful father, honestly it was torture" he said and i can feel a headache coming.

"Great tell David to keep his mouth shut from now on i can handle it from here" i said and hung up.

"What was that all about?" Lena asked.

"My dad knows we're together" i said and she gave me a worried glare. Someone knocked on the door and i tensed up. I'm not ready for this yet.

"It's ok" she said squeezing my hand. I went and got the door, trying to stay calm.

"Hey dad" i said forcing a smile.

"I need too talk too you" he said looking over at Lena.

"Alone, please" he said rudely.

"Of course" she said going into the other room.

"Is she living here?" he asked looking disgusted.

"Pretty much" i managed to admit.

"Are you freaking kidding me? You know this is wrong, Stef" he said and i shook my head.

" I love her dad and she loves me, please explain to me what's wrong with that" i yelled.

"You don't love her" he said and i bite my tongue to keep from yelling at him too get the fuck out of my apartment.

"No you know what dad. I'm done. I'm done listening to you and i'm done being told how to feel. I've already tried so hard to please you and you know what it's apparently impossible. Because i'll never be good enough for you." i shouted back.

"Thats not true…"

"Yes it is, i have changed my life around for you and i'm still not good enough. I'm sorry i'm not perfect" i screamed.

"This has nothing to do with me" he said calmly.

"Bull shit, it doesn't. I didn't do anything wrong i fell in love. You wouldn't have a problem if i fell in love with a white man" i said quieter. I don't exactly want Lena too hear that my dad also has a problem with her being biracial.

"I didn't bring race up" he defended himself.

"You didn't have too dad because i know you. I know you were thinking that too. You're racist and judgemental person in general" i said keeping my voice down but keeping the sternness behind the words.

"Stef being gay is a sin" he said and i laughed humorlessly.

"Wow dad… i'm having deja vu so bad right now." i commented.

"You should be we have had this conversation so many times. You know what you are doing is wrong" he said and i just rolled my eyes.

"Heres my problem with religion. Supposedly i'm committing a sin for falling in love with someone who happens to be female. So god wants me to fall in love with someone according too there genitials. Kind of perverted, too be honest." i argued.

"You know being gay is wrong" he said turning around and leaving. I shook my head and blinked away the tears in my eyes.

"Hey you ok" she asked coming back out of the other room.

"No" i said and she pulled me into a hug.

"I hate him so much"i said.

"I know babe. I'm sorry" she said rubbing my back.

"He will come around" she said but i can tell she wasn't sure of it herself. Why can't my dad just accept me for once?

Lena

I feel so bad for Stef. I can't imagine what it would be like to have your dad not accept you like that. My dad was always accepting and my mom got there eventually.

I kissed her cheek and she pulled away.

"Stef"i said.

"Sorry i just…" she said and i hope she's not distancing herself because of her dad's disapproval. It wasn't exactly the easiest task to get her to realize her sexuality the first time i don't want to do it again.

Mike

Stef came in and i groaned.

"Who is this?" she said looking at Abby.

"The question is who are you?" Abby asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Excuse me" Stef said.

"Ok Abby this is my lesbian friend who doesn't believe in knocking Stef, and Stef this is my girlfriend who i was going to tell you about i swear Abby" i said hoping to keep this from becoming as pathetic as my girlfriend getting into a catfight with lesbian friend.

"Nice too meet you" Stef said putting her hand out to shake. A little hesitantly Abby shook her hand.

"So you just walk in whenever you want?" she asked shocked and a little jealous sounding.

"Yeah i should have trained her to knock when i had the chance" i said and she gave me a look like if Abby wasn't here she would be flipping me off.

"I'm sorry bad habit" she said annoyed. I know she's in a bad mood. I already know why she's here, her dad probably disowned her.

"Do you know if David is working i'll go talk to him?" she said giving me a look of 'how did you get a girlfriend?'.

"I don't think he is, i suggest knocking there" i said.

"Alright i will" she said annoyed. "Have fun"

I gave her a look of 'i'm going to kill you' and she smiled.

"It was nice too meet you Abby" she said leaving.

"Sorry about that"

"It's ok she's interesting" she said. "Is she taken?"

"Uh yeah why?" i asked a little concerned.

"Nothing just making sure i'm not wearing a bra" she said self consciously.

"She wouldn't look at you, she's loyal. And i would kill her" i said and she laughed.

Stef

I knocked on his door and he opened it.

"Hey you ok?" he asked and i shook my head. He hugged me.

"Oh hon, it's ok. You're dad is an asshole. Screw him" he said and i laughed.

"Now tell me why you are on my porch" he said and i sighed.

"Because you won't let me in" i said and he let me in.

"Oh right sorry" he said closing the door behind me.

"I mean why are you here…" he said and i know he's not trying to sound like he doesn't want me here.

"Well Mike was about to screw some Abby chick so i had to leave there" i said and looked down sad.

"Sorry honey but he is straight" i said squeezing his hand.

"It's ok… what i meant is why are you with me and not Lena. I would think she would be able to cheer you up more" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"Really David" i said and he put his hands up in surrender.

"You're the one thinking that" he said and i sighed.

"I don't know i can't get my dad's words out of my mind and i really need too talk about it and not with her." i said and he groaned.

"Hon thats what girlfriends are for, sure you can talk to me, but you should talk to her." he said and i shook my head.

"I'm embarrassed of her… i love her so why am i so embarrassed of that" i said and he put his arm around my shoulders.

"Hey kid, you think i don't know that?" he asked and i looked up at him.

"I have had fake girlfriends before, i was so ashamed. I mean come on you were one of them" he said and i laughed.

"I screwed up so many relationships because of it. I'll tell you a secret Kyle never cheated on me, he ended it because i was pretending to be with you. I made the other part up" he admitted ashamed himself.

"Really?"

"Yes really. I thought he would take me being an ass because i thought he knew i was scared of my parents finding out. He did know and he even said he would have been fine with you being my fake girlfriend for a while but he said he couldn't be in a relationship with someone who didn't talk too him. I've never regretted something so much." he said.

"So yeah i know you're embarrassed of her and i know it's hard to say that but trust me kid don't screw up like i did." he said and i can tell he's enjoying this mentor thing he has going for him. He's called me kid twice, how weird.

"Thank you" i said and he smiled at me.

"Now don't screw this up i've put a lot of effort in you two. Don't disappoint me. It won't look good if i failed my first job of playing cupid" he said and i laughed.

"And the old David is back, the mentor thing was a little weird" i said and he laughed.

"Hey i'm your mentor, you're gay cupid and you're gay best would you do without me?" he said and i laughed.

"Bye gay cupid i will get you a oversized diaper and arrow" i said and he laughed. I left he's right i can't screw this up.

**Hey let me know what you think. Only one or two more chapters before i skip like 18 years. I have everything figured out, i think, except how Stefs last name became Foster without her marrying Mike. Didn't think that though when i started this story whoops.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Wasn't sure if i should skip ahead but decided too anyways so I'm skipping ahead 18-19 years. So it will be the same time frame of where the fosters is. I won't really be writing about the drama happening on the show except maybe very briefly as background to make it seem more realistic. There will a lot of flashbacks to explain how things came to be the way it is now. I got it all planned out pretty much and i got to say as of the looks of it i'm saying we are probably only half way though this story, it's going to be long.**

Lena

I downed the last of my third coffee and tried to focus. I haven't been sleeping well lately. I don't know why but i keep having the nightmares i had right after the whole Alisha situation again. I thought they stopped. I thought i put that part of my life away, got over it. I guess i was wrong. Too add to it i keep having this feeling of dread that something bad is going to happen. I'm not a psychic but it starting to weird me out.

Someone knocked on the door and i practically jumped out of my skin. It's a good thing i finished the coffee because i just knocked the cup over.

"Come in" i said and Timothy walked in.

"You alright?" he said and i smiled at him.

"Yeah jumpy. What's up" i said trying to look professional despite the fact that my heart still going a mile per minute and i'm feeling really panicky. Maybe three cups was too much always better to be tired than almost having a panic attack due to a caffeine high.

"Jack Carter had to leave due to a family emergency someone needs to cover his class" he said and i nodded.

"Alright i'll find someone." i said turning to the computer too see if there's a teacher with a free period who can do it.

"Are you actually ok?" he asked noticing my hands shaking.

"What yeah… three cups of coffee not a good idea" i said he looked skeptical for a second but then left.

My phone buzzed to life and i jumped again.

"Shit" i said surprising myself. Thats not normally a word i will say. I searched through the papers on the desk, i'm too panicky too keep it organized right now, too find it and it wasn't there. I grabbed my purse and i can feel it vibrating so i kept looking. I searched through it and finally found it, my purse is a mess too apparently.

"Hello" i answered. Then took a deep breath to calm down. I didn't look at the caller id to see who it was.

"Hey love, you ok?" she asked thank god it's just her. I looked at the time. 12:30 the start of her lunch break and normally she calls me.

"Yeah fine why wouldn't I be?" i said.

"Well because you sound panicky and honestly like you are going to cry so…" she said expecting me to explain.

"I had three cups of coffee" i reasoned then realized it doesn't make sense.

"Ok i don't see what that has to do with it but maybe you should slow down. What are you panicky about?"she asked.

"It's stupid" i said.

"It's not stupid now tell me."

"I keep having those nightmares again" i admitted.

"What nightmares?" she asked.

"You know about Alisha" i whispered like it was a secret. She sighed as if she was thinking 'oh great this again' can't blame her i'm thinking the same thing.

"Honey i thought that was done" she said.

"So did i" i said frustrated. "Now i can't get rid of this feeling of dread."

"Love maybe you should be seeing someone again" she said.

"No i'm fine" i denied.

"Lena" she said sighing.

"Listen if it gets worse or keeps happening i'll think about it" i said and she groaned.

"Oh no you don't. If you really think i'm going to fall for that again, i'm deeply offended." she said and i sighed.

"Ok fine i'll think about it now" i said and she laughed.

"Wow A for effort really, we will talk about it tonight" she said and it sounded almost like a death sentence. Don't get me wrong i liked my therapist but i just don't want to do therapy again. I shouldn't need it, it's been almost twenty years.

"Ok fine" i said giving up.

Stef

Oh great Alisha again. What caused this too come back? I knew she wasn't sleeping well but i didn't think it was because of her having those nightmares again. On top of that she's going to do everything in her power too not see a therapist again.

I got home and i can tell Lena is still freaked out a bit but she seemed a lot better.

"Hey babies" i said and walked over to Lena who was cooking on the stove. I wrapped my arms around her waist.

"Hey love" i said kissing her cheek.

"Hey" she said.

"You ok" i whispered in her ear. She nodded. She's not ok, i hope she will be though. I hope it doesn't take long before she realizes she's safe and Alisha can't hurt her. She's still in prison.

Mike

I came to pick Brandon up. Lena looked obviously freaked out and Stef gave me a look like

'she's ok'

"Alright well you ready to go B" i said and he nodded.

"Bye mom" he said kissing Stef on the cheek.

"Bye mama" he said than going over and kissing Lena.

"See you guys later" i say.

We left and i turned around to him in the car.

"Is Lena ok?"

"I don't know she's freaked out about something but it seems to be a secret what's going on." he responded. Secret? The only thing I can think about that would be a huge secret is Alisha. They never told the kids about her. Have yet to have the conversation where they explain to them a long complicated story about how this one girl almost killed her and screwed up her entire life.

"Hmm weird, well i'm sure she will be fine. Probably just a long day" i said. It's not my right to tell him. It's Lenas secret so Lena is the one who should say it.

"She's been off for days" he said.

"I'm sure she's stressed." i reasoned and the conversation ended.

"So hows your hand feeling?" i asked.

"Fine sore from physical therapy yesterday." he said.

"Well hopefully it will be back to normal soon" i said.

"Yeah it's looking good" he said.

"Thats good." i said as we pulled up at my apartment.

Lena

I poured myself a glass of coffee and she laughed.

"Haven't had enough?"

"Nope" i said.

"Just one cup we don't need you having another caffeine panic attack." she said walking out too the living room. I followed her and we sat down on the couch.

"Please don't make this difficult" she said.

"Stef it was just a few dreams" i argued.

"Thats how it started the first time" she argued back. "Lena PTSD is nothing to mess with"

I looked down i hate when she brings my diagnoses into it. Makes me feel insane.

"I hate when you say that"

"Say what?" she asked.

"The diagnoses it makes me sound crazy" she moved closer to me.

"Hey you aren't crazy" she said putting her hand on my knee.

"You went through a traumatic experience"

"Yeah like twenty years ago" i said.  
"Hey now don't age us. It's only been like 18 or so years" she pointed out.

"Thats not my point… it shouldn't be a problem by now" i argued and she smiled at me.  
"Honey i don't think time matters in this case. You need help or it will keep happening, don't believe me wait and see what happens" she said and i sighed.

"Alright we will look into it again." i promised her. Honestly i'm too tired to argue with her right now.

"Good so what happened?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" i asked.

"Come on you know what i mean, what brought it back up?" she said and i shrugged.

"No clue just the other day i had the dream again randomly" i admitted honestly.

"Randomly?"

"Yes i haven't thought about her for years and randomly i have the dream again. I'm just as confused as you are" i said and she smiled at me.

"Alright you know she's in jail she can't hurt you" she said kissing me. I know she's right but i still feel like somethings bads going to happen.

"Do you guys have to do this here?" Jesus asked rolling his eyes.  
"It's our house young man. Pay the bills than you can dictate where i can kiss your mama" she said and i laughed. He gave us a weird look.

"Fine whens supper" he asked and i laughed at the predictableness of it all.

"Always about food with you, eat a snack it'll be a bit" i said and he groaned going and grabbing a snack.

Jesus

I knew something was off with mama but when i came downstairs it was confirmed.

'You know she's in jail she can't hurt you' what does that mean. Who's the 'she'? Why is 'she' in jail? And what did mom mean when she said 'she can't hurt you'? Did someone hurt her?

I went upstairs too Marianas room.

"I think someone hurt mama" i said getting her attention.

"What do you mean?"she said putting her laptop down looking at me concerned.

"I came downstairs and mom and mama were talking and mom said to her that some girl is in jail and she can't hurt her anymore" i said and she looked shocked.

"Oh my god what do you think happened?" she asked.

"No clue but something did" i said. She reopened her laptop and went to google.

"What are you doing?" i asked.

"What do you really think they are going to tell us?" she asked and i sat down on her bed not sure what to expect too figure out.


	27. Chapter 27

Alisha

She walked into my cube and i rolled my eyes.

"Calluso is it true you're getting out today?" she said looking upset.

"Yes i've told you this already" i said. Klingerman has been my 'prison wife' as they say for almost a year and i can't wait too not deal with her. She's more like a lost puppy, but hey she's hot.

"What am i gonna do without you?" she asked.

"I don't know, kid. Find another prison wife or learn to beat someone up" i said.

"Oh" she said sadly. What did she think was going to happen?

"So you're only on parole right?" she asked.  
"Yes" i said.

"What did you do?" she asked. She's been in for a year and she doesn't know not too ask that question.

"I heard you killed someone" she said once i didn't answer. I rolled my eyes.

"I heard you did drugs and trashed a Mcdonalds bathroom" i said and she laughed.

"It only happened once" she defended herself.

"Yeah and i only killed someone once" i lied. She didn't die, thank god. She looked horrified all the sudden.

"I didn't actually kill someone" i clarified. "She didn't die, but i did stab her"

"Oh… well what's the first thing you are going to do once you get out?" she asked like an overly hyper dog would ask if they talked.

"Eat chocolate" i said. I have been craving that for nineteen years.

'And find her' i thought.

Stef

He sat down next to me.

"So i heard Lena is acting off everything ok" he said and i sighed.

"Nope she's having those nightmares about Alisha again" i said and he looked shocked.

"Really why?"

"I don't know came out of the blue."

"Brandon was asking me questions about it" he said and i groaned.

"They're not kids, Stef. Eventually they are going to figure out" he said.

"I know i just don't want them too" i said and he laughed.

"It was so much easier when they were kids" i complained and he laughed.

"Yeah and it seemed hard then" he reminded me.

"Do you remember when B was seven and he almost burnt your house down because he knocked down the candle" i said laughing.

"Oh my god… i remember having half my apartment burnt too the point that i had to move in with you guys until it was deemed safe" he said.

"Yeah you know you could have moved in with David" i teased.

"And be watched while i was asleep no thank you." i laughed.

"I would much rather sleep on your guys couch and pretend i didn't hear you and Lena have sex" he said and i slapped him.

"Relax i listened to music when it happened." he said.

"You're an asshole"

"How do the kids sleep through that?" he asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Once they are out there out." i said and he laughed.

"Yeah well thats surprising because it took an hour to get the three of them too bed."he commented.

"Pretty much, I would take that over their teen years any day" i said. I'm still surprised at how fast time goes. It seemed like just yesterday we were talking about having kids like it's a future that is still far away.

"Yep seems like just sixteen years ago you asked me to donate" i said and i rolled my eyes.

"You're funny" i joked. That was so awkward.

Flashback

I'm not exactly looking forward to asking him but i know I need to do it. Who else is going to do it? Lena. I mean sure they have become friends but i knew him longer so i kinda end up getting the job. I walked in and he was heating something up in the microwave.

"Stef?" he asked grabbing the chicken out of the microwave right before it beeped. He got the barbecue sauce out of the fridge and sat at the table.

"Want some?" he asked going to get the chicken out again.

"Yeah sure" i said and he put it in the microwave.

"So what's up?" he asked confused. Sure i barge into his house all the time but i have too look nervous.

"Um i need too talk too you about something."

"Alright, shoot" he said than putting a piece of chicken in his mouth.

"Me and Lena are talking about having kids" i announced and he gave me a weird look.

"Already you have only been together like three years" he said shocked.

"I know but still…" i trailed off.

"Hey what do i know? If you're ready go for it" he said and i smiled.

"Well i'm glad we got you're blessing but that not what i'm here for" i said and the microwave beeped. I got up and got it.

"Ok then what are you here for?" he said and then i think it dawned on him.

"Wait you want me to do it?" he asked surprised.

"Well yeah i mean i've known you forever. I know you're family. I know you're enough of an ass too be fine with not being involved…." i said and he stopped me.

"Whoa wait a second… you think i don't care if i'm in my kids life or not?" he said angrily.

"No i didn't… i didn't mean it like that. I mean you won't insist on being a father figure" i said and he looked shocked.

"Wow so you just want to use me for my sperm and then i don't get too see my own kid" he said.

"No of course not. We are friends you will probably be uncle Mike either way…" i said and he nodded.

"Uncle Mike?" he asked.

"Why is this a big deal?" i asked completely shocked that he's reacting this way.

"Because you're asking me to have a kid that won't know who i am too him or her. I'm not going to do that" he said.

Mariana

What do i even type in? We know nothing. It's not like we know a name, or what even happened. Just that something happened to her and some girl is in jail for that. Yeah i'm sure google is going to really have the answers.

'Lena Adams' i typed in thinking maybe it will get us somewhere.

"Wow that really narrows the search." he said sarcastically.

"Do you have any suggestions?" i asked annoyed that he thinks he can do better.

"Well at least you could be more specific about her." he said.

'Lena Elizabeth Adams of San Diego, California' i typed in.

"Better?"

"Maybe" he responded.

Plenty of pictures came up.

"Oh thats great we know what she looks like" he said.

"Will you stop i'm trying my best" i said and he stopped.

"We are never going to get anywhere on this. We need more information." he said.

"Thank you captain obvious. Who do you think will tell us more?"

"Look up woman who went to jail recently" he offered.

"You think it happened recently?" i asked.

"Why would she be freak out if it happened a while ago?" he pointed out.

"Ok fine we will start there."

'Woman of San Diego, California who went to jail recently' i typed in.

We got several links. A lot of them were for stealing or drugs so we narrowed the search more.

'Woman of San Diego, California who went to jail recently for assault" i typed in and mom came in and i minimized the window and brought up a project for school.

"Hey what you guys doing?"

"Oh we have a project for world cultures due soon we are just trading ideas" i said thinking quick.

"Oh alright need help?" she offered.

"No we are good" i said and she left. I bought the window back up.

"Nice one" he said.

I looked through links after links and none of them were even a possible match. Why is this so hard? Wait a second if it happened recently, like today being that she is freaked out now, it wouldn't have even hit the newspaper yet.

"This isn't going to work if it's recent it will be in the newspaper soon." i said giving up for now.

Lena

I was walking too my car and i can't help but feel followed.

'No Lena no one is following you. Alisha is in jail' i reminded myself. I can't help but feel panicked. I called Stef up knowing that i'm starting to have a panic attack and she will be able to bring me down from it.

"Hey love" she answered after the third ring.

"I feel like i'm being followed." i said and she sighed.

"Honey no one is following you, Ok? Alisha is in jail, she can't follow you from jail" she reminded me.

"I know, I know" i said i turned around and i swear i saw her. My entire body froze. She is following me!

**Let me know what you think. I was bored so you got two chapters today.**


	28. Chapter 28

Stef

I came to pick her up knowing she's having a complete panic attack.

"She's following me" she insisted and i pulled her into my arms.

"Nobody is following you, you're fine" i told her but she shook her head.

"Come on honey…" i said leading her too my car.

"No really, Stef. I saw her" she insisted. Oh great now she's borderline hallucinating. I looked around to humor her and didn't see her anywhere.

"Come on, Love" i said opening the car door for her.

"Stef" she said.

"You're safe" i reminded her leading her into the car.

"I saw her!" she yelled. I closed the door behind her and went around too the drivers side.

"Stephanie" she yelled frustrated.

"You thought you saw her. Alisha is in jail" i said calmly trying to calm her down. I reached over and buckled her in since she's too panicked to do it herself. She looked at me shocked and then shook her head.

"No…"

"Lena" i said taking her hand.

"She's in jail, love"

"You don't believe me" she said baffled in between panicked breaths.

"Honey you are having a panic attack just focus on breathing for a second"i said demonstrating the in through your nose out through your mouth breathing technique i have been doing with her for i got her calmed down a bit i drove us home.

Jesus

Brandon came home and i went into his room.

"What's up?" he asked confused that i'm in his room.

"So you know how mamas been off lately?" i said and he sat up.

"You noticed that too?" he asked and i nodded.

"I heard mom telling her that some girl is in jail and that she can't hurt her again…" i said and he gave me a shocked look.

"Wait seriously?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah me and Mariana were trying to figure it out but we don't have enough information. Do you think you're dad might know something?" i asked and he sighed.

"I was talking to him about it and he got all weird like he knew something but i think he's trying to keep it a secret" he said.

"Perfect… see if you can figure anything out" i said and he groaned.

"Oh alright."

Stef

Lena was in the shower having calmed herself done for the most part and i was trying to figure out what to do for supper.

"Where's mama?" Brandon asked coming down for a snack.

"Taking a shower, so i'm trying to figure out what to have for supper" i said.

"Is she ok?" he asked looking concerned.

"Mama? Yeah she's fine why wouldn't she be" i lied. She has plenty of reason to not be fine.

"She's been acting weird lately" he commented. I know everyone is on to us but it's not like i want them to know. Besides Lena is really against them figuring out, she says she doesn't want her kids too think of her as a victim. Which i can't blame her for i wouldn't want that either but how long does she expect this to stay hidden.

"She's overly stressed with work. She's just had a rough day" i said well the last part wasn't a lie.

"Alright" he said with a look like 'if you insist'. He went back upstairs and then i got a call from Mike.

"Hey what's up" i said.

"Alisha was let out on parole" he said and i froze.

"What?" was all i could say.

"The department has tried to get in contact with Lena but she didn't answer every time so they had me call you" he said.

"When?"

"This morning" he said.

"Shit" i said.

"Stef are you ok?" he asked.

"Mike she had an anxiety attack today and she claimed Alisha was following her and that she actually saw her. Now you're telling me she might be right?" i said and he sighed.  
"Great…" he said sarcastically.

"I'll check in with her parole officer and make sure she's made it too all of her checkups" he said.

"What if she stalks Lena or tries to hurt her or something?" i said.

"Tell Lena too notify police if she sees her again" he said. Of course that bitch got out, our life is too good so yeah she has to screw it up.

"Part of her probation is that she can't see Lena. She will be put back in jail immediately." he said. I can't believe she's actually out where she can possibly hurt my family. I'm not going to let her, i'll do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

I went upstairs too talk too Lena. First of all I owe her an apology for not believing her. I got too our room and she was just getting out of the shower.

"Hey love" i said and she smiled at me.

"Hey sorry that i was a little crazy earlier" she said and i walked over to her.

"You weren't crazy… i need too talk too you about that actually" i said and she nodded. She got dressed and followed me into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry i didn't believe you…" i started.

"No you were right, i mean she's in jail. Right?" she said starting to get the feeling i need to tell her bad news.

"Um… no unfortunately i'm not right. She got out of jail for parole this morning" i said slowly hoping to keep her from panicking again.

"What?" she said looking like she just saw a ghost. Well i tried to keep her from panicking.

"It's ok. If she ever goes near you, you immediately call the police. Not me the police department so there's a guarantee someone will answer" i said.

"That mean she was following me" she said looking scared.

"Hey, you're safe" i said moving closer to her and wrapping my arms around her.

Callie

I was walking past moms bedroom going downstairs for a snack when i heard some of their conversation, not trying to eavesdrop. They left the door open for whatever reason and i could see that mama was really upset about something and it worried me. I knew she's been acting odd lately but i just figured it was stress or something.

'If she ever goes near you, you call the police' mom said to her. Oh thats not good. The police? Who could the she be? What could be so serious?

I walked back into my room and Mariana gave me a weird look.

"What?" i asked.

"You looked concerned everything ok?" she said and i sighed.

"I just heard mom telling mama if 'she' ever goes near her too call the police" i said and she gave me a shocked look.

"'She's' not in jail?" she asked getting me confused. Why does Mariana know what's happening?

"What? You know what's going on?" i asked and she shook her head.

"No we are trying to figure that out." Mariana said.

"We?" i asked.

"Me, Jesus and Brandon but we have no information. I thought she was in jail" she said. There investigating mama?

"How did you know about this?" i asked still shocked they know.

"Jesus heard mom tell mama that 'she' is in jail so 'she' can't hurt her. So now we are trying to figure out who 'she' is and what 'she' did too mama" she said clearing it up.

"Oh did you get anywhere?" i asked. I kinda want in on this. Something is happening and i'm worried about mama.

"No but we might with the new information. Close the door" she said and i got up closed the door and sat on the bed with her.

"She probably just got out on probation" i pointed out and Mariana went to google.

'Woman of San Diego, California who got out on parole recently' she typed in. A few links came up. A lot of woman getting out that did or sold drugs or stole but thats not really what we are looking for.

"Add assault" i said since thats most likely what she's in for if she ever hurt mama.

She did and it narrowed the search a lot more. We looked though a few links and rolled out a few people who don't make sense. Like they beat their kids or someone who couldn't be mama.

Finally we clicked on a link that was the right one.

'Alisha Calluso having served 19 years in prison for domestic violence and attempted murder of her girlfriend Lena Adams is up for parole on October 9th, 2014.' the first sentence read. October 9th is today, she got out today.

"Oh my god" Mariana said. She looked over at me and i shared the look.

'Alisha Calluso, 24, has a past with bipolar disorder and according to her girlfriend of three years,Lena Adams,21, has a past of skipping her medication. Lena testified that the abuse went on for a little over a year before she had enough and tried to end it. Alisha then stabbed Lena in the side and left the scene. Police officer Kyle Williams and Stephanie Elkin were called to the crime scene and Lena managed too made it through surgery.' I looked over at Mariana. Elkin is moms maiden name, guess we figured out how they met.

"Oh my god thats how they met" she said as if reading my mind.

"Well that explains why we never heard that story" she said.

"Yeah not exactly the most kid friendly story" i agreed and kept reading.

'Alisha pleaded innocence claiming she was at work during the time this went on but her boss said otherwise and the San Diego police department found her fingerprints on the knife. Alisha served nineteen years in San Diego Woman Correctional facility where she is now up for parole for good behaviour'

"I can't believe this" Mariana said.

"Now she's out" i said pissed. She tried to kill our mom and now she's free, well more or less.

"What if she tries to hurt mama?" Mariana said voice my concern.

**Ok i'm sorry if the news article didn't read like a news article normally does, i tried my best. I'm a creative writer i have little experience with information/ technical writing and i'm sure i'm not good at it. Anyways review and let me know what you think will happen next. Itll be funny too see what you guys think.**


	29. Chapter 29

Lena

I need to keep myself from freaking out so i decided to look through some old pictures. I saw one which was our first pictures with the twins after we brought them home. They were five when we fostered them and we ended up falling in love with them.

Flashback

I was cooking while keeping an eye on a six year old Brandon and Stef came home.

"Mommy" he said running to her and hugging her.

"Hey kiddo, have a good day at school?" she asked leaning down and kissing him.

"Yeah we got to play with legos today" he said excitedly.

"You did? Sounds like fun" she said and than came in and kissed me.

"I need too talk too you" she said seriously.

"Hey buddy why don't you go play legos upstairs for a bit" i said to him.

"Can mommy play?" he asked looking at his mom.

"Not right now kiddo. Me and mama have to have a boring adult conversation and then i will be up too play with you" i said and he looked a little disappointed. He ran upstairs to go play anyways.

"Slow down, Brandon" i yelled and he slowed down.

"What's going on?"

"So there were twin five year olds at the station today…" she said and i looked at her confused.

"What did they do steal cookies?" i joked but i knew this was going to be sad.

"There foster family dropped them off for no reason. Bill was down there and wondered if we could take them in for a couple of days until he can find a more permanent household" she explained and it broke my heart.

"Thats so sad, of course we can. What are their names?" i asked.

"Jesus and Mariana" she said and i smiled.

"When will they be coming over?"

"In like an hour… i'll go make the extra beds up for them." she said leaving.

Present

Stef came in interrupting my thoughts.

"Looking through pictures?" she asked.

"Yeah" I held up a picture of a very pregnant Stef. "Aww remember those days?"

"Yes very clearly" she said and i laughed. There was a knock on the day keeping me from teasing her further.

"Come in" Stef said. Brandon opened up the door and walked in followed by Mariana, Callie and Jesus. Ok what's going on?

"What's going on?" i asked.

"We need to talk?" Brandon said.

"I didn't do it" Stef denied and i rolled my eyes at her.

"Really mom?"  
"I don't know what this intervention is for but i don't have a problem" she denied and i laughed.

"It's not an intervention… and it's not for you" Mariana said and Stef turned and pointed an accusing finger at me.

"What did you do?"

"Stef" i said annoyed.

"What just trying to lighten the mood… it got kind of awkward in here" she said pouting.

"What's going on?" i asked the kids.

"We know…" Jesus started.

"Don't admit anything" Stef whispered to me.

"Will you stop?" i said and she stopped.

"Know what?" i asked confused.

"What happened with Alisha" Brandon said and i froze. I felt Stef put her arm around me protectively.

Stef

How fantastic now the kids know. Just as i had Lena distracted they bring it back up.

"Wait… how do you know that?" i asked.

"Google… and some accidental eavesdropping" Callie confessed and i sighed.

"Wheres Jude?" i asked noticing his absence.

"He wasn't a part of figuring this out. He doesn't know." Jesus said. I looked down at Lena too see how she's holding up.

"Love… should we just have this conversation with all of them since 4 out of 5 know already" i approached gently. Most of them know we might as well tell them all at the same time. She nodded and i told Jesus too go get Jude.

She looked down at the picture of me pregnant with Brandon i think just so she doesn't have too look at them right now.

"What's going on?" Jude asked once him and Jesus got here.

"Alright well you guys might as well sit down it's a long story" i said and we were soon joined with five kids in our bed.

"I guess we have too catch Jude up" i continued. He kept looking from me too Lena and then too each one of his siblings trying to figure out what's happening.

"I will" Lena said finally speaking i gave her a look like 'are you sure?' and she just nodded.

"When i was nineteen i started dating this girl named Alisha. I thought we were in love and all that chick flick stuff. Anyways she was bipolar and she didn't always take her medication. I didn't realize thats what was going on until we were dating for six months. She got really moody and i thought i could handle it. The thing is after we were together for a little less than two years she stopped taking them completely and she got abusive…" she started sounding ashamed. I squeezed her hand under the bed.

Jude looked shocked and worried but didn't say anything.

"... um it went on for a little over a year and i finally decided that my family and friends were right. That i needed to get out so i told her it was over and she stabbed me in the side and left." Jude looked almost like he could cry. He moved closer to Lena and hugged her. I saw Lena relax a little bit.

"I was the cop called too the scene"i continued for her.

"Thats how i met her" I said and then went on to tell about how Lena and i got together, Lena having PTSD, and how Alisha was in jail.

"Anyways Alisha is out on probation as of today…" i said.

"What?" Jude asked and Mariana patted his back.

"If she goes anywhere near Lena she will be thrown back in jail immediately. She is on a strict probation so hopefully she decides not to come near her and leaves us alone" I said although i'm sure that she won't leave us alone. Thats too easy.

The kids all hugged Lena and left and Jude hung around.

"What's bugging you,Jude?" i asked him.

"Are you ok?" he asked Lena and she smiled.

"Yeah i'm fine. Don't worry about me" she said.

"You sure" he asked. He's such a sweetheart.

"Yes i'm fine. I have your mom" she said and i smiled at her. "Trust me she's going to be doing enough worrying for everyone."

"Thats right because it's my job to keep her safe and i plan to do just that. Besides the cops i work with will be there too help me keep her and you guys safe. So i think we are good"I said smiling at him. He left and i turned around to her.

"You ok?" i asked and she started crying. I wiped the tears away and hugged her.

"Hey you're ok you have me" i reminded her and she laughed.

"I mean it, you know? I will do anything to keep you safe" i promised her and she nodded.

"No i want too see you smile" she gave me a fake smile and i shook my head in disapproval.

I tickled her and she laughed trying to squirm away from me but i have her trapped.

"Stop it… stop" she yelled while laughing. I stopped and she laid there laughing for a second.

"Thats not fair you know i'm extremely ticklish." she said sitting up.

"I love you" i told her.

"I love you too" she said and i kissed her. I picked up the picture of me pregnant with Brandon.

"This is a terrible picture" i said and she laughed.

"No i like it" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"Yeah because you get too tease me for it" i said and she laughed.

"Oh i have plenty of pictures i can use for blackmail so i would stay on my good side if i was you" she warned and i laughed. I'm just glad she's joking and all that it shows that at least for the time being she feels safe.

Alisha

The second that bitch showed up too pick up Lena after her panic attack i knew i had to get out of there. Yet again that bitch is in my way. I will win Lena over again if it's the last thing i do. I don't care what i have too do too get rid of her i'll do it. All she's ever done was ruin me and Lenas chance at happiness. I went through a bad period. I hurt Lena and i have never regretted something so much in my life. She's the love of my life. I started taking the pills and getting myself back on track so i was a better person for her once i came back. I will do anything for her. I will die for her. I would kill for her.

**Well we all knew Alisha was crazy but she just went completely psycho. I wasn't planning on writing another chapter today i just was planning on writing the confrontation scene and that ended being the majority of the chapter. Consider yourself lucky i have an addiction to writing fanfiction and have no self control. Please review. I can almost guarantee the next few chapters will be up pretty soon because they will be intense and i won't be able to stop.**


	30. Chapter 30

Stef

I know she's anxious about leaving the house today and i don't blame her. I would be too. I offered to stay home with her but she wouldn't take me up on it.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay home? We can watch crappy movies all day" i said feeling safer knowing where she is.

"Why would you watch crappy movies?" Brandon asked.

"It's tradition by now" I said and he just shrugged.

"I'll be fine. I'll call you during lunch break" she said kissing me. I gave up and went out to grab the mail. I handed Lenas hers and then went through mine.

Lena

I went through the mail trying to keep my worried mind preoccupied but i wasn't finding anything substantial. Until the last envelope that is.

On the front it said: Dear Lena please read

I recognize that writing it's Alishas. As much as common sense is telling me to show it to Stef and throw it out, i'm curious what it says. I slipped it into my purse too read once i get to work. I tried to swallow the panicked feeling as realization came over me. She knows where i live.

Stef

I went back out too the car too grab my wallet and saw that the back right tire is flat.

"Shit are you kidding me?" i yelled. I examined the tire and noticed it's been slashed. Who slashes a tire in the police stations parking lot? Talk about bold. This isn't just a teenager playing a prank this is someone actually trying to send a message. Alisha!

Lena

I looked at the envelope debating reading it. Curiosity is getting the best of me, I opened it and pulled out the piece of paper.

'Dear Lena

Thank you for reading this. I understand that you have every reason to hate me so i appreciate that you are reading this. I won't waste much of your time. I just have to say i'm so sorry about everything thats happened. I don't regret anything more than hurting you, I wish i could take it back. I know i can't so i have done everything i can too make myself a better person FOR YOU!...'

"Oh for goodness sakes" i said rolling my eyes. Thats bull.

'... I started taking the pills again and every time i'm suppose to do. I know you are probably not believing a word I say but really I have changed. I'm out on parole and would like to meet with you somewhere so we can talk.

Love,

Alisha.'

I groaned. That was sickening to read. She's crazy if she believes that i would ever even consider going back to her. Leaving her was the best thing i have ever done for myself. Sure it got me stabbed but i would have ended up in so much worse state if i didn't leave when i did. Besides i met Stef than and ended up having an amazing family because of it. I would never trade that for the world, especially not for her.

Stef

Mike helped me change the tire, i didn't have an extra with me so thankfully he did.

"Be careful" he warned me.

"I will, daddy" i joked.

"Ok thats weird" he complained and i laughed.

"I'm serious you do realize you are her target" he said.

"Clearly" i said looking at the slashed tire.

"I'll keep my gun on me besides i'm trained in self defense. Honestly it's better me than Lena" I pointed out.

"Still" he said.

I worked late and Mike left before i did, despite us being partners currently, for an appointment. By the time i got too my car it was already dark. I'm targeted by someone who probably has no problem with killing me, i'm alone and it's dark it's like the recipe for something bad happening. Talk about an unsettling feeling.

Before i knew it i felt someone kick me in the leg. I turned around and saw her. I punched her in the face and kicked her in the stomach knocking her to the floor.

Mike

I came back to the station because i forgot my phone there and i heard someone falling to the floor. I ran over towards the sound too see Stef beating up Alisha. I grabbed her pulling back, she was actually fighting against me for a minute and then she stopped. She was breathing heavily and crying.

"She fucking hurt Lena" she yelled and thats when i realized that she has been cut.

"Shit Stef you're bleeding." i yelled at her. I looked over at Alisha she was unconscious and i can't tell if she's alive. I laid Stef down on the floor and called 911 with Stefs phone being that i still haven't grabbed mine. I went over to see if Alisha was alive and thankfully she was.

Lena

I was starting to get worried about Stef since she said she would be home by 6 and it's now 6:30. I called Stef plenty of times and there was no answer. I was pacing the floor when Mike called me.

"Mike do you know where Stef is?" i asked not even bothering to say hi.

"I was just calling to tell you that. Stef got into a fight with Alisha she has a pretty deep cut and lost some blood. She's at the hospital…" he said worrying me more. She was cut? In a fight? How much blood is some?

"Oh my god is she ok?" i asked running too the car.

"Brandon moms in the hospital she got into a fight and you're in charge" i yelled at him hurrying to leave.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"I'll keep you posted" i said.

"Mike?" i asked leaving.

"She's fine she's currently arguing with the nurse" he said and i sighed of relief.

"Are you with her?" i asked.

"Yes do you want me too put her on?" he asked and then realized it was a dumb question and gave the phone too Stef without even waiting for a response.

"Hey love" she said.

"Are you ok, you worried me" i said immediately.

"I'm fine. It's just a little scratch" she lied.

"Stephanie!" i said and she sighed.

"I'll live, Lena. It's not as bad as Mike makes it sound" she said but i can tell it's a whole lot worse than Stef makes it sound.

Stef

I looked down at the bandaged wound. It's on my right side and it runs from around my belly button area too a little past my hip. How did she cut me and me not notice? I can't really remember much. I just remember hitting her and hitting her and then Mike pulling me back. Another thing i remember that i just can't handle right now is wanting her to die. I wanted to kill her, if Mike didn't pull me back i probably would have.

Lena got here and i steeled myself too dealing with her worried ramblings.

"Oh thank god you're ok" she said hugging me.

"Thanks for staying with her Mike" she said to him.

"Of course" he said leaving.

"What happened? Where were you cut, i want too see it" she said the second he left.

'Damn it Mike! Why did he leave me alone with her?' i thought.

"I'm fine" i said pulling the blanket off and my hospital gown up.

"Oh my god, Stef. Thats not a scratch" she said looking at it concerned.

"I'm fine, i already got stitches. I didn't lose too much blood but they had too give me a blood transfusion. I'm fine,really" i said.

"I was so worried about you" she said looking like she could cry.

"I'm ok, better now that you're here" i said. 'and not nagging me anymore.' She laughed a bit.

"Oh sure sweet talk now" she said and i winked at her.

"Always"

"What happened?" she asked.

"I was going too the car after my shift and the next thing i knew i was kicked in the leg so i defended myself. It got ugly and i guess she cut me" i said conveniently leaving out how i kept punching her.

"Honey this could have been a lot worse." she said.

"I'll keep it in mind during thanksgiving." i joked and she gave me her famous look.

"You could have died, Stef" she said tears in her eyes.

"Hey it's ok. Besides you know i would die for you" i said seriously whipping away the tear on her cheek.

"I don't want you too die for me… i want you to stay alive for me" she said crying.

"Come here" i said scotching over, trying to mask the pain that shoot through my leg.

"Don't move"she said noticing despite my best attempt.

"I'm ok love. Cuddle with me" i said laying my arm out so she can cuddle into my side.

"But the cut…" she objected.

"Is mostly on my leg,you won't be near it" i said and she sat down next to me. She laid her head on my chest and I took her arm and wrapped it around me so it wouldn't be near the cut.

Mike

Captain showed up, oh this should be fun.

"Mike, what happened?"

"I came back to the station to get my phone and Stef got into a fight with Alisha, who is Lenas abusive ex-girlfriend…" i started and she sighed.

"... I pulled her back and she was cut. She didn't even know it happened, i'm thinking she was in shock. I'm sure it was self defense." i said being careful what i say. I'm sure it was self defense but it went past defending herself. She kept hitting her even after she was too beaten up too hurt Stef, not that i blame her, i would have done the same. I just know there is a possibility this could get really bad for Stef.

"Alisha is claiming that she went too talk too Stef and she attacked her. That she cut her for self defense" she said.

**Oh man this keeps getting more and more dramatic. Part of me is debating sending Stef to prison and writing that drama. Also Alisha would definitely be going back to jail for violating parole (out past a curfew, having a knife) so it would be really dramatic. I don't know but i kinda want to write it or maybe write a spin off where that happens if i don't it in this story. Anyways let me know what you want to happen.**

**I promise i will update 'a familiar face, unrecognized' soon. I just been caught up with this story.**


	31. Chapter 31

Stef

Captain came in and i smiled at her. This can't be good.

"How you feeling?" she asked.

"Good, what's the bad news" i said and she sighed.

"Do i just give off a bad news vibe?" she asked and i laughed.

"I'm in the hospital for being in a fight and you come too talk too me. I can almost guarantee it's not good news" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah well it's not. Alisha is claiming that she came too you just too talk and you attacked her and she cut you out of self defense" she said and i don't know why i didn't see this coming. She's a master manipulator, she did the same thing with her claim when prosecuted for stabbing Lena.

"Of course she did that bitch" i said and she glared at me.

"Stef we looked through the security footage and it clearly showed her attack you first. However you kept going after the threat was gone…" she said. Shit this isn't going to be good.

"It was self…"

"I get that Stef, the problem is not everyone does. Not yet at least. It will be rolled as self defense when you go in front of a jury. I mean we have video proof it was." she said and i'm getting the sense of a but coming up.

"...but…" i said and she sighed.

"But you know the protocol. Alisha is crying attempted murder so unfortunately once you are out of the hospital you will be taken into custody" she said and i bit my lip. I can't believe this.

"So i'm going to jail" i said and she looked down.

"Temporarily yes, sorry" she said leaving.

"Shit!" i said burying my head in my hands. How am i suppose to tell my wife and kids i'm going to jail for a while. What about Lena and the kids?

Lena and the kids showed up about an hour later. I don't want too tell them this.

"Hey honey how are you feeling?" she said kissing me.

"Fine, how was everyones night?" i asked but i know nobody slept as good as they should. We talked for a bit. It was great talking too all of them as a family, it's going to be in short supply when i'm in prison. I have too tell them, i really don't want too, but i have too.

"Um so i…" i started and everyone looked at me.

"What's going on?" Lena asked looking concerned. I'm sure she could tell i had something i needed to say the entire time, she can read me like that.

"Captain came too talk too me this morning, unfortunately with some bad news" i said and everyones glares were on me.

"...She said that even though it was a clear case of self defense and there being security footage to prove it, that Alisha is claiming i attacked her…" i said and i saw the shock and sadness in everyones eyes.  
"What thats bull" Brandon yelled.

"Yes it is, and during the hearing it will be revealed as bull. The problem is that protocol states that when it looks like an attempted murder case the suspect has to stay in custody until a judge clears him or her of being guilty. So i'm going to have to stay in prison until my trial date" i said not making eye contact with anyone.

Lena

'So i'm going to have to stay in prison until my trial date' the words were like a punch too the gutt. She's going to jail. She won't be at home with me and the kids she's going to be in jail for a crime she's not guilty of. Attempted murder? Alisha tried to kill Stef, she had a knife. She was planning on killing her. You don't have a knife in the middle of the night too go talk to someone. She is going to jail.

"It's only temporary, i promise" she said grabbing my hand pulling me back from my thoughts.

"What's going to happen?" Brandon asked.

"Well when i'm allowed to leave the hospital i will be taken into custody and hopefully my trial date is real soon." she explained.

"What if it's not ruled a self defense case?" Jesus asked and i can't even handle thinking of the possibility of it.

"It will be" she said confidently. "They have footage"

"If they have footage why are you still a suspect?" Jesus asked.

"Jesus!" i yelled angry he's even suggesting it but i can't help but be curious too.

"No it's ok… i went into shock or something and i kept hitting her and she was beaten up pretty badly." she said and i tried to blink the tears from my eyes.

"So it went past self defense?" Brandon asked and she looked down ashamed.

"Yes it did but it's still going to be ruled a self defense" she said but her confidence was starting to lack. I can't lose her.

"Kids i promise we will be here all day. Can i just please have a moment alone with her?" i said and they nodded leaving.

"Lena?" she asked looking ashamed. I hugged her starting to cry on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me holding me close.

"You're not guilty, i know this" i said.

"And so will everybody soon, i promise" she said kissing me.

"What actually happened, Stef. It went past self defense, what happened?" i said and she looked down ashamed.

"I don't know. I don't know what came over me" she said barely above a whisper. Her words stopped me. 'I don't know what came over me' thats what Alisha use too say. She would black it out or something.

Stef

'It went past self defense, what happened?' how am i suppose to answer a question i don't know the answer too. I blacked it out or something. All i know is i wanted to kill her and i couldn't stop myself, but hell i'm never telling her that. I wanted to kill her. Who was i last night, definitely not someone i ever want to be again. What if i can't stop myself in the future? What if deep down i'm this terrible person. How can i live with knowing i was planning on hitting her until she dies. For what through? Lena, the kids,myself, or some animalistic instinct thats monster like.

She didn't say anything she looked shocked at my response. Like i said something that made her freeze up. Maybe even scared of me? This isn't who i want to be.

"Lena love" i said and she looked at me.

"What is it?" i asked concerned.

"Sorry it's just… thats what Alisha use too say." she said. Alisha used to say that? I am a terrible person, not even a person.

"Hey i'm nothing like Alisha" i said but am i lying to her? Could i actually be like her?

Mike

I went into talk to her and she was just sitting there.

"You alright?" i asked.

"I might be going to jail" she said. They aren't actually going to send her to jail? It was self defense.

"It was self defense" i argued.

"You and me both know it was more than that" she said not making eye contact. What's wrong with her? She sounds like she is agreeing with being sent to jail.

"You don't deserve to go to jail…" i started.

"But what if i do?" she yelled. What the hell is she saying?

"I wanted her to die" she admitted barely above a whisper.

"I wanted her to die more than i wanted anything in my life and if you didn't show up i would have killed her. How can i be a good person when i was going to kill her?" she said sounding disgusted with herself.

"Stef you did what you did too protect Lena" i told her sitting on the end of her hospital bed.

"Did i thought?" she asked.

"Stef you're not a bad person. You were in shock which is why you don't really remember it. I pulled you back and you screamed that she fucking hurt Lena. So yeah i would say you did it for her."

"What if that was only one reason through? Lena compared me too Alisha today" she said. They are nothing a like. What comparison could she have made.

"I told Lena that i didn't know what came over me and she said Alisha used to say that" she said.

"You were in shock" i argued.

"What if there is some bad part of me…" she said and i sighed. She definitely is having a weird midlife crisis.

"Some dark passenger? What are you doing watching Dexter" i joked trying to lighten the mood.

"What if this happens again? Maybe i should be in jail, at least then i'm not a threat to my family" she said. Yep really bad midlife crisis.

"You're not a threat too you're family. You were protecting them"

"Yeah well maybe i need to protect them from me. Keep them safe for me?" she said. What is she planning on doing?

**Poor Stef. Don't hate me for this, please. If Stef goes to prison it will be really temporary. I have no idea what is going to happen from here but i won't send her to prison for long. Please review, and preferably nicer reviews.**


	32. Chapter 32

Stef

I know everyone is going too think i'm crazy but i really think it's for the best i turn myself in.

"It was self defense" he argued desperately. Man you would think he was going to jail.

"Doesn't matter…" i said getting out of bed.

"You're not suppose to leave" he pointed out.

"I'm not suppose to beat a girl nearly to death" i said and he sighed.

"Stef don't you think you are being a bit hard on yourself?" he asked grabbing my pants too prevent me from getting dressed.

"No, what about my family?" i asked handing my hand out for the pants.

"Exactly. You're family. You think you are doing what's best for them but you're not. Alisha is still out there, what if she tries to hurt Lena" he pointed out.

"She's in the hospital" i argued.

"Yeah probably feeling like she got hit by a car but thats not going to stop her from trying to run away too find her. She's dedicated" he said.

"She's going back to jail, she broke parole"

"Yeah but she's not yet." he argued still holding my pants from me.

"What about me, Mike?" i asked.

"You would be looking at at least 15 to 20 years" he said as if trying to give me a reality check.

"At least i won't be a threat to my family" i responded.

"Listen to yourself, Stef. You know how i know you could never do what you're afraid of? You are about to go to jail for at least fifteen years for a crime you didn't commit too keep your family safe from an imaginary threat. You are willing to do anything for them. Thats love and that is stronger than that imaginary dark passenger of yours" he said and i sat down on the bed.

"I just don't know…" i said and he sat down next to me.

"I would have done the same if i was in your position. I know you're a good person" he said patting my back and going to leave.

"Mike?" i asked and he turned back around.

"Yeah?"

"Keep my family safe while i'm in jail?" i asked. "Never thought i would say that"

"Stef don't turn yourself in" he said.

"I'm not i have to go until my trial either way remember. Also i need my pants back" i said and he laughed.

"Right" he said throwing them back at me.

"Thanks Mike"

Lena

The more i'm thinking about Stef going to jail the more i worry myself sick about it. She's a cop they will make her life hell. Heck they might even try to attack her. I know Stef knows self defense and isn't necessary petite but some of those girls in there could take her easily. She would need a prison wife too even survive and i'm not too fond of the idea of that either.

I got a call from Sharon, oh great this should be interesting. I told her she was in the hospital but i haven't too her yet that her daughter is going to jail.

"Hey Sharon how are you?" i said trying my best to sound like everything is fine.

"Hey is Stef ok?" she asked concerned.

"She's good, she should be getting out of the hospital soon" i said. And then going to jail.

"Oh good. I just can't believe this happened. I mean i don't blame her but still she's never been violent. But hey thats what love does to people" she said.

"Yeah really, um i need to tell you something" i said and i heard her sigh.

"More bad news? I don't know how much more i can take" she said and i laughed humorlessly.

"You and me both. Unfortunately yes i have bad news…. Stef has to… go to jail for a bit" i said and i waited for her reaction for about thirty seconds before i spoke up.

"Sharon, are you ok?" i asked.

"What?" she said.

"Just until her trial date." i explained.

"Why? She didn't do anything wrong, it was self defense." she said still shocked.

"I know and it will be ruled a self defense on her trial but for the time being she has to remain in custody once she's released from the hospital"

"But why it was self defense" she said and i sighed.

"Yeah but Alisha is claiming otherwise and it was a little overkill for self defense" i said.

"That bitch, i wish Stef would have killed her" she said and it shocked me. I've never seen Sharon like this. She was always a sweetheart, not that i blame her.

"Sorry darling but she has messed with my baby for the last time" she said and it was kind of a cute moment. It was something about her calling Stef her baby that is weirdly cute.

"What is Stef going to do in prison? Don't tell her this but those girls can take her" she said.

"Yeah i know i'm trying not to think about it. Are you flying out?" i asked and she laughed.

"Honey i'm at your driveway" she said and i walked over to see that she was pulling into the driveway. I hung up and went outside.

"Sharon?" i asked laughing.

"I flew out this morning then got a taxi" she said as i hugged her.

"I could have picked you up?"

"No i wanted you to spend time with Stef." she said.

"Well you could have at least told me" i said grabbing her bags.

"I'm not that old" she said taking them back. "And if i told you than you would have insisted on picking me up"

Stef

Todays my last day with my family before i go to jail. I'm going to miss them so much. Everyone is here. My mom, Lena and the kids, David, and Mike.

"Make sure you get a prison wife" David said and i glared at him. Really right in front of Lena.

"David really?" i asked and Lena laughed.

"She doesn't need one, she can clearly take care of herself" she said and i smiled at her.

"But you know maybe you should have one just in case" she said and i glared at her shocked.

"Wait i thought you said i can take care of myself?" i asked kind of insulted. Sure they can kick my ass but i don't want my family too think that.

"You can but some backup is never a bad idea but still try to stay on peoples good sides." she said and i nodded.

"Be friendly… but not too friendly" Sharon said and i laughed.

"Mom!"

"Grandma" all the kids said in equal disgust too there mom.

"What just making sure she understood." Sharon said defending herself.

"I could never cheat on Lena" i said putting my hand on her knee.

"You better call me every chance you get" she said kissing me. Normally the kids would comment or fake disgust but they kept quiet since it our last day together.

"Yeah me too" David said.

"How can i get a prison wife i can hardly handle having two" i joked and David stuck his tongue out at me.

"You guys better come too visitations or i'm going to go mad" i said and Mike laughed.

"In order to go mad you have to have a sanity too begin with" he said and i stuck my tongue out at him. Which is my way of flipping him off when my family is around. He knows i'm flipping him off on the inside.

Visiting hours were over before i knew it. I hugged everyone. I hugged Lena and i know we are both trying to keep tears from our eyes.

"I love you, promise me you will stay alive for me" she said and i didn't want to pull away from the hug.

"I promise, I love you so much" i said kissing her cheek. She kissed me and i didn't want it too end. Who knows whens the next time i will get to kiss her.

"I'm gonna miss you" she said and i whipped the tear off her cheek.

"I'm going to miss you so much" i said. She hugged me one last time and than left.

Lena

I tossed and turned unable to fall asleep. Tomorrow morning at seven my wife is going to jail. How am i suppose too sleep?

Brandon

I never thought i would be laying in bed listening too the bands music just hoping my mom survives prison. Prison? My moms a cop who would have saw this coming. It pisses me off that she has to go even though she didn't do anything wrong. Alisha tried to kill her and mama, she deserved everything she got and way more. Now my mom is going to jail for it? That system is fucked up.

Jesus

I've never hated someone so much in my life. My mom is going to jail because of her. Jail? It's crazy. She didn't do anything wrong, well minus not killing the bitch while she had the chance.

Mariana

All i can think is that mom better stay safe in there. I miss her already.

Callie

I've been too juvy before and all i can hope is that jail is better than that for her. Who would have thought my police officer mom would be going to jail. Well for protecting her wife, i can believe that.

Jude

I'm so worried about mom. I don't want to lose her. I hope both her and mama end up ok.

Alisha

i heard Stef is going to jail. Maybe i will have to make friends with her when we are both in there. I totally underestimated her. She's just like me.

**Let me know what you think, but please be nice about it.**


	33. Chapter 33

Stef

I only got about two hours of sleep, from three to five. It's now six and in an hour i go to jail. I'm mad i didn't get one last night in my own bed where i can hold Lena. Who knows whens the next time i will do that is. I want to call her and talk to her for an hour. What if she's asleep? I don't care i want too talk too her.

"Hey honey" she said and i can tell she's tired.

"Sorry did i wake you?" i asked.

"No i didn't sleep, i'm glad you called." she said.

"So am i, i need too talk too you until i go" We talked for an hour and it was great. I'm glad i got too talk too her one last time. At the end of the call i got too say goodbye to everyone and it was heartbreaking. I know it's not permanent but it feels like it is.

"Ready to go?" Williams asked. I hate my life. I go to jail and the person who takes me to jail is the first partner i had. Of course it is, why wouldn't he be. I'm surprised he hasn't retired yet, i think he's going too next year.

"If i say no will i get more time?" i asked even though i'm ready.

"No not really" he said and i nodded.

"Well it was worth a try." i said. "Do we have too do the handcuff thing?"

"Are you going too corporate?" he asked and i nodded.

"Yeah i can't really run right so it will be embarrassing to make a run for it and have a sixty some year old man catch me pretty quickly" i said and he rolled his eyes.

"Hell where did you sense of humor go?" i asked annoyed.

"It's too early, rookie" he joked.

"Too early? I'm going to jail and i have a sense of humor" i complained.

"Yeah and i never thought i would be taken you to jail" he commented.

"Yeah how terrible. I go to jail and my first partner is the one who takes me." he laughed.

"Yeah kind of ironic. Anyways you know no one blames you at the station, right?" he said and i smiled at him, thats good to know.

"I mean once they leave the station it's a completely different story…" he said and i was going to play slap him but hell with my luck i would get in trouble for assaulting a police officer.

"Haha you're funny" i said.

"You complain that i don't have a sense of humor and complain when i do, nothing can please you" he complained.

"No but really none of us blame you, including me. Honestly we wouldn't have blamed you if you killed her." he said but somehow the words still seem too make me feel guiltier.

It was weird riding in the back of a cop car for a change. The bars between me and Williams made me feel claustrophobic, i'm doomed. I feel like i can't breathe.

'Alright Stef it's ok. In through the nose out through the mouth' i reminded myself and thankfully managed to keep myself calm. Next challenge is handling the strip check. I wanted nothing more than anything too keep my clothes on but i know better then to argue.

'It's going to be over in a second' i reminded myself. I put the clothes on as fast as i could once allowed.

"Nice rack" the girl said next too me. I tried to pretend i didn't hear her.

"Relax blondie. Prison is easier if you have a good poker face." she said and laughed. 'I'm trying!'

We went in and the cop showed us too our bunks. My bunkie looked up at me from her book.

"I have one rule don't piss me off" she said and i nodded. "It's for your safety, consider it a warning blondie." Well she seems friendly.

"Got it" i said and she glared at me.

"Did i give you permission to speak?" she asked. I didn't say anything but put my stuff on the free bunk.

"What is it, you think you're a better than me?" she asked.

"What no" i said and she rolled her eyes. I've said two words and somehow managed to break her only rule.

"Hey blondie you a cop?" a butch looking girl approached me.

"Uh well…"

"I heard you're a cop" the butches girls bunkee said walking up to me. My bunkie came and covered the other side of me so i can't go anywhere.

"Who do you think you are, blondie?" my bunkie said.

"Speak up, blondie?" butch said. I'm not sure what i'm suppose to say.

"Stephanie Foster" i answered.

"Shut the fuck up" my bunkie yelled and then everyone started laughing.

"I love newbies" the butch said smiling at me. It's a joke?

"Down tiger. Don't scare this one off." her bunkee said.

"You a cop?" my bunkie asked.

"Yeah" i said nervously. I'm still not sure what's going on.

"I knew she was the cop that arrested my friend" butches bunkie said.

"Ignore her. We are syked you're here" butchies bunkie said as butch checked me out.

"You are?" i asked confused.

"Yeah we need a newbie and a cop one, how cool. No one else has a cop in there family in here." butches bunkie said.

"You're going to need a family in here, or you will be in the hospital before lunch. Stick with us, kid." the butch said putting her arm around my shoulder.

"And a prison wife wouldn't hurt" she said winking at me.

"Tiger, calm down" her bunkie said. Is Tiger her name?

"Tigers her name?" i asked and they all laughed.

"No her real name is Rosie Parker but thats not fierce enough so everyone calls her Tiger" Tigers bunkee said.

"I'm Lyla Fenderman but people call me Fenderman. See here you either go by a nickname or your last name." she continued.

"I'm Kathy Hendricks but some people actually call me silencer" she said and i can't tell if she's serious.

"No she's serious some do, it's an inside joke" Tiger said.

"Why do they call her that?" i asked getting concerned.

"Shut the hell up" Hendricks said.

"Thats why" Fenderman said.

"So you interested?" Tiger asked.

"Interested?" i asked unsure of what she was talking about.

"Be my prison wife?" she asked. I have a prison family isn't that enough to protect me?

"I'm taken" i said and she laughed.

"So are we" they all said.

"The first thing to go out the window in jail is loyalty" Tiger said. Yeah that what worries me.

"Oh um…"

"Awesome i'm going to have sex with a police officer" she yelled and i put my head down.

"No...no" i said to her and she smiled.

"You'll come around" she said smiling at me. Well this should be interesting.

Alisha

My day nurse shift ended and my night nurse shift doesn't start for another hour. I have an hour to get out of here hopefully unnoticed. I got up and put on baggy sweat pants and sweatshirt. I debated pulling the hood up but that would be suspicious. Too my surprise nobody stopped me. I got out and called a taxi. I have a little less than an hour before people notice me missing. I need to disappear. As much as i want to go see Lena today i know it's too risky, they will check there. I got taxi after taxi after taxi until i was at an old friend's house an hour away from the hospital. I will play it safe for a while, stay invisible and once i'm sure they give up i will go too see her. I have to be smart.

"What are you doing here?" Heather asked.

"I got out, escaped from the hospital" i explained.

"You can't be here" she said.

"Come on help a friend out, it's only for a few days" i argued.

"No is no" she said going to shut the door but i stopped her.

"How many times have i saved your ass? You owe me" i pointed and she sighed.

"You have a week then you're kicked to the streets" she told me.

"I'll be out in like four or so days" i said and she let me in.

"Is this about Lena?" she asked. "Oh no silly me, it's always about Lena"

"Don't be jealous it's ugly on you" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Jealous? I want nothing to do with you, besides you ruined that girls life."she said.

"Shut the fuck up. She ruined my life, she broke my heart" i yelled.

"Than why do you want anything to do with her?" she asked and i rolled my eyes.

"Because she's the love of my life, and when you're in love you forgive them" i defended myself.

"What about her wife?" she asked and i laughed. She doesn't know me at all.

"Oh you're just being silly now. She's in jail and my girls are going to make sure she doesn't live too see her hearing."

**Oh Alisha she has to die sometime. She's the definition of bitch. Let me know what you guys think whether you like it or not just don't be rude. Also you can always write predictions in reviews it will funny too read.**


	34. Chapter 34

Lena

I was sitting in front of the tv flipping though channels not even paying attention too what's on them. All i could think about is Stef. I hope she's doing alright. Thankfully i got a call from a random number, this has too be Stef right.

"Hello" i said.

"Hello Mrs. Adams Foster…" oh great this isn't Stef.

"Yes?" i asked.

"I'm judge Mark Turners secretary i was just calling too inform you that you're wifes hearing is October 25th at 3:30" he said and i sighed. It's October 12th thats not even two weeks away, well two extremely long weeks where poor Stef has too survive in prison, but it could be a lot worse.

"Ok thank you, i'll let her know as soon as i can" i said and than hung up. Now too go back too waiting for her too call.

Stef

It's supper time and i went and sat down next too my 'prison family'. I'm pleasantly surprised by the food here it's not half bad, well granted i expected it too be like school lunches and i was once served a green hot dog there so my standards aren't too high.

"I'm so sick of the black people in here acting like they own this place, some newbie black girl just walked right into the bathroom this morning. Like what the hell is wrong with these people" Fenderman complained. I've figured out real quickly that everyone is racist in here. It's like borderline segregation.

"Oh calm you're perky titties." Tiger said annoyed.

"So how was prison orientation, blondie?" Tiger asked. They decided my name is blondie and i'm not going too argue because it could be a whole lot worse.

"Not bad, boring" i said. A black girl i don't know walked over and sat down.

"Hey did we tell you you could sit here?" Fenderman yelled.

"Oh shut up" she yelled back.

"Don't tell her too shut up you stupid whore. Shut you're fucking mouth" silencer said. I also figured out that everyone calls her silencer and if i call her by her name people won't know who i'm talking about. It's still an eerie name.

"Suck my dick i've sat here for years there no way i'm being replaced by some push-over blonde whore" she said looking at me. Wow everyone here is so nice.

"Well sit here than, cocksucker. Just shut you're fucking mouth" silencer yelled. The girl sat down.

"You can talk for yourself, blondie"silencer said too me. Silencer has a bad habit of telling me i can talk and when i do telling me too shut up. I'm going too leave here with mental problems.

"Am i in you're seat?" i asked not wanting too be stepping on anybodies toes.

"No take it, predictable a white girl gets the good seat. Make me sit in the back of the bus" she said. Oh great now she's assuming i'm racist.

"We can trade seats if you want, i'm not racist" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Shut up blondie. Thats not even her seat she's just being a bitch" silencer said.

"Oh i'm being a bitch, this isn't over" she said but she looked straight at me. Ok i don't know what just happened.

"Ignore her, she just wants a reason too complain" Fenderman said and i smiled at her.

Lena

I got a call from a different randon number and i'm hoping it's Stef this time.

"An inmate from San Diegos, woman center is attempting too call you too accept press one" a recorded voice said. Yes it's Stef. So weird too hear her be called an inmate. I pressed one excited too hear from her.

"Hey Stef" i said. "I'm so glad too hear you're voice"

"What didn't think i was going too last this long?" she joked. Oh good she still has her sense of humor.

"No i just worry. So tell me about you're first day?" i asked not sure what type of stories too hear.

"It was odd. I went in after you know strip check…" she said uncomfortable.

"That sucks."

"Yeah but thank god i have it over with. Anyways i was showed too my bunk and my bunkie greeted me by telling her she has one rule and that too not piss her off." she said. Oh great just what i thought there not the friendliest people.

"Turns out her nickname is silencer." i said and it gave me goosebumps. It sounds like a nickname for an unknown murderer. I swear i saw an episode of Criminal Minds with an unsub called that.  
"Uh what?"

"Yeah she gets a kick out of demanding people too speak and than telling them too shut up. She's been doing it too me all day." she said. Well at least it's not like the unsub on Criminal Minds, i hope.

"Oh god you're gonna come back with a complex." i said sympathetically.

"Yeah and more than one. There's Tiger, yes they call her Tiger. She is convinced i'm her prison wife and has been drooling over me all day" she said.

"Thats what happens when you're hot and in prison." i commented and she laughed.

"I know than there Fenderman who come across normal but somethings off about her. Anyways i can go on and on tell me about you and the kids." she said sounding worried about us.

"We are fine and the bouncer you have hired is doing a great job. Mike came over and checked on us twice" i said laughing. Typical Stef i knew she was going too make sure Mike looks after us. I feel like Mike would do it either way, he's a good guy.

"Oh good. I gave him strict instruction" she said and i laughed.

"Oh Stef, and also he did follow the rule too make me continue looking into therapy" i said a little annoyed.

"Well what did you think was going too happen. I go too jail and you get off the hook?" she asked and i laughed.

"Yeah kinda, silly me for not expecting this of you."

"So everyones ok?" she asked.

"They miss you and there worried about you but they will be ok" i informed her.

"Good."

"Are you making friends?" i asked and she laughed.

"You know what i kinda think i am." she said and i sighed of relief. I was so worried everyone was going too ice her because she's a cop, maybe even go out of there way too hurt her.

"Oh good"

"Yeah strangely the three girls i was telling you about before want too adopt me into there prison family. I have the strange feeling i'm like there dog though" she said and i tried not too laugh.  
"What?"

"Yeah they keep saying they have never had a cop one and how cute it is. Honestly sounds like i'm there dog." she said. I'm not entirely sure if this prison family is the best people but hey better too be somebodies pet than a lost dog. At least they will probably be protective of there pet. It still has too be a bit insulting.

"It sucks but hold in there. You got 13 days left" i said remembering i didn't tell her the court date.

'Wait you know the court date?" she asked excited that it's not as long as it could be.

"Yeah October 25th at 3:30. Can you survive in there until than?" i asked.

"Guess i'm gonna have too. Did you wire the money?" she asked.

"Yes first thing in the morning." i answered. I'm surprised i figured out how too do that but i wasn't going too give up.

"Good i need too go" she said. Already?

"Oh ok i'll talk too you tomorrow than" i said.

"Yeah have a nice night" she said.  
"You to" i said but i kinda don't want her too sleep since i'm worried someone is going too hurt her while her defenses are down.  
"Love you" she said and i can tell how much she misses me.

"I love you to"

Tiger

I went over the plan over and over again in my head. I can do it, i have done it before. Why is that Blondie makes me so nervous. She's absolutely gorgeous and she's a cop, i've never taken on a cop before.

Fenderman sat next too me glaring at me.

"Come on you need too do it" she said.

"I know but what if…" i argued.

"But nothing take one for the team. Besides she needs a prison wife Alishas people are trying too kill her. We don't know want her too die now do we" she said.

"No" i responded.

"Of course not it's our job too make sure this go perfectly" she said smiling at me. The smile gave me goosebumps but i smiled back.

"Of course i'll do it" i said nervously.

**Let me know what you think will happen next. I like reading predictions**


	35. Chapter 35

Stef

I can't fall asleep too save my life, even though in this place i might be saving my life by staying awake. The bed is uncomfortable, my mind is racing and i'm too scared to fall asleep. This night is going to last forever. Think about better times, i told myself.

Flashback

I still can't wrap my mind around the possibility that i might be pregnant. Pregnant? I nervously pace the length of the bathroom and she stopped me.

"Babe it's going to be ok" she said giving me her 'calm down' look.

"What if it's negative?" i asked and she sighed.

"We try again" she said kissing me.

"What if it's positive?" i asked and she laughed.

"Than we celebrate." she said kissing me again.

"Why aren't you freaking out?" i asked her and she laughed.

"Because one of us has to stay calm and it's clearly not you" she said as the timer beeped.

"Oh ok um…" i said unable to find words.

"We'll do it together" she said as we walked over to it. She grabbed it since i'm shaking too much. It's positive. Oh my god i'm pregnant.

"Oh my god…" was all i could say but i was pulled into Lena as she kissed me.

"I can't believe this" she said after pulling away from the kiss.

"We are gonna have a baby" i said still shocked. She kissed me again.

"We are gonna have a baby" she repeated leading me up too the room to 'celebrate' all while not stopping from kissing me.

Present

I smiled at the memory who would have thought that sixteen years later me and Lena would have adopted four more kids. We wanted a few more kids don't get me wrong but four more, that and we originally didn't discuss adoption.

Flashback

I sat down across from Lena and Bill came in. I met him though the station when a few foster kids tried to run away from the system.

"Hey thanks for meeting me here" he said.

"Sure we just want to help" i said. It broke my heart knowing a bunch of eight year olds run away from their foster family because there foster father was abusing them physically and sexually. I told Lena about it and she wanted too see if there was anything we can do to help.

"Help? The best way to help is to adopt" he said and i looked over at Lena. Adoption? I like the idea of giving a kid who doesn't have a home and family a safe place and caring family.

"Adopt?" Lena asked.

"No pressure to do anything but if you really would like to help thats the way to do it. You are both great parents and i know anyone of those kids would love to come live with you" he said and i smiled at him.

"Well thank you but do you really think the system will agree" Lena said and i looked over at her confused. We have a healthy happy three year old, a big enough house, both of us having steady jobs, no criminal records what would the system have to argue about. Than it hit me, she thinks they won't because of us being a same sex couple.

"Same sex couples adopting is very controversial, yes, but it's come a long way. You may have some problems adopting but too be honest we are just trying to find good homes and you guys would be a great family for a foster child. I'll try to pull some strings if there's any problems so just let me know" he said and i smiled at her. I know she wants to do it too.

Lena

I hung up trying to stay calm. I can't believe this Alisha ran away from the hospital and the police don't know where she is. She's going to come after me. I feel like i can't breathe. I need to call Mike, maybe him coming over will make me feel better.

"Lena is everything ok?" he asked concerned.

"No Alisha escaped the hospital" i said in between gasped breathes.

"I'm on my way over." he said. "It's going to be ok"

Brandon came downstairs and saw me panicking.

"Hey what's wrong?" he asked.

"Alisha… escaped" was all i can say. He looked at me shocked.

"Hey you're fine, we are all fine. Let me call my dad…" he said taking control of the situation.

"I did" i answered. "On his way"

"Ok you'll be fine. My dad will be here in a few minutes and i'm here now." he said. He definitely takes after his mom and dad.

Mike showed up and let himself in and i panicked. I got up and went to grab something to defend myself and than to get the kids but Brandon stopped me.

"Mom it's Mike" he explained as Mike came in too the living room.

"It's just me" he announced.

"I called the cops to see if they have found her and unfortunately they didn't but…" he started but i interrupted him.

"She's still out there" i said and i feel like i could pass out.

"They are looking for her and a cop is going to be circling the streets around the house and i'm here until they found her" he said and it made me feel a little bit better.

Stef

I woke up too Silencer yelling at me too wake up. I screamed and jumped.

"Will you shut up" she yelled at me.

"Sorry forgot where i was for a second and some random girl yelling at me…" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah that will happen every morning you'll in here." she said.

"What waking too you screaming at me?" i asked my heart still racing.

"No that will happen if you sleep past the breakfast bell but get used too forgetting where you are and then having to remember every morning." she sadly. I have no idea how long these people are in here for or for what. Well the thought is just depressing, twelve more days of that.

"Youll be fine, blondie. You got one day out of thirteen down. You will survive you're two week trip to hell." she commented and i laughed. This is the nicest anybody has treated me since i got here. Maybe i was a bit wrong about her.

"What?" she asked annoyed at the look i was giving her.

"This is the longest you have gone without telling me to shut up" i responded and she laughed.

"Oh shut up. Quit it with that sappy crap" she said laughing.

"Oh well don't you look beautiful today" Tiger said nervously when we sat down at the table and she was looking right at me. Ok this is weird.

"Well thank you i'm in the same outfit as yesterday and i don't have makeup on" i responded a little confused.

"You don't need makeup to look beautiful" she said looking like she's crazy nervous. Great now i'm going to put up with the nervous flirting.

"Well thank you..." i said still a little confused.

"Oh don't compliment her back it will go too her head and it's big enough." Fenderman said disgusted.

"Oh my head is big…" Tiger started.

"Shut up both of you" Silencer said annoyed. "Tiger go find someone else to get into the pants of"

"I'm not trying too get in her pants" she defended herself loudly and i focused my gaze on my tray of food.

"Right, she has a wife come on" Silencer said. Is she actually defending me?

"I was just being nice and her wife is one lucky lady" she said embarrassed. I kinda feel bad.

"It's ok, thank you" i said and Silencer just glared at Tiger. Fenderman looked down at the mention of my wife. I'm starting to feel like something is going on here.

Lena

There was nothing i could do to stop it. There was bars keeping her in and me out. All i could do was scream as she was beaten half to death. The girl kept hitting her and hitting her and she didn't care that i was screaming for her to stop. Alisha randomly walked out from behind a door and smiled at the girl who just beat poor Stef up.

"Good job my child" she said too the girl whose face i can't see. Alisha looked straight at me, as if acknowledging that she knows i saw it. Like she wanted me to. Alisha and the girl left laughing.

"Stef" i said looking down at her.

"Please stay alive for me" i begged her but i watched as she closed her eyes.

I suddenly jolted awake from the dream, gasping for air. I'm covered in sweat having ruined Stefs baggy shirt i wore to comfort me. The dream gave me a sense of dread. Stef isn't going to be ok in there and there's nothing i can do to stop it.

**Is it just me or is Lena starting to sound like she has psychic powers not doing this on purpose but it's kinda sounds like she does. So review and keep leaving predictions. As of right now this story will probably have like 15 or more chapters left.**

**Also i will have chapter 10 of a familiar face, unrecognized up some time today, i promise. **


	36. Chapter 36

Stef

Today is Saturday which means it's visitation day. I can't wait to see my family. I have talked to them over the phone but very briefly in the three days i've been in here. My money hasn't come through yet so i've been kinda roughing it for a few days. Thank god i have friends in here i don't know what i would do without toilet paper. Seriously that would suck. Anyways Silencer, who is close too my skin tone, offered too let me use her makeup for visits. I feel bad for judging her, sure she came off rude, but she really has my back.

Tiger has been flirting with me non stop and it's making me a bit uncomfortable. I'm just impressed she can flirt with me even though i haven't showered with shampoo and body wash for three days or own deodorant. I'm starting to repulse myself.

Fenderman sat next to me at lunch and then moved down a bit.

"I'll give you deodorant after lunch, you're family will get up and leave at visitation." she said and i forced a smile.

"Sorry my money hasn't come in" i explained.

"Well you stink so borrow shampoo and body wash and take a proper shower before you're family comes. I mean really were trying to eat" Silencer said.

"Well thank you" i said thrilled i can take a proper shower and not feel nauseous at my own smell.

"We can take a shower together" Tiger offered.

"Uh no thank you… i really need too get a proper shower." i said.

"Seriously, Tiger? Could you come off any stronger?" Silencer said.

"Yeah i could have asked if she wants me to lick her pussy" she said and i put my head down. Are you kidding me?

"Thats disgusting" Fenderman said disgusted.

"You're a creep" Silencer said at the same time.

"She hasn't washed in three days at least wait until she washes" she said.

"Well after she showers" she said.

"Um no i'm good" i said and she just smiles at me.

Fenderman

I looked over at Michaels and Smith and they both winked back at me too let me know we are on for the day. I went to throw my tray away and whispered, "right wing bathroom half an hour". The plans all set. Such a shame Stef won't get too see her family at visitation today, she seemed so excited about it.

Lena

I'm so excited i get too see Stef today. I've never missed her so much in my life, sure i've been a part from her for three days before but not because she was in jail. She has told me her horror stories and told me how she can't wait to come home. She claims the three things she misses the most are:

1. Me and the kids

2. Shower with a curtain

and 3. my cooking.

All the kids are so happy they get too see there mom today. Jude got all dressed up and he looks so adorable. I'm just hoping that everything goes smoothly. I'm still anxious since my dream.I told Mike and he told me it's just anxiety and she will be fine. He still forced me to set up a therapist appointment like Stef instructed him, which is next thursday. Five days before Stefs hearing.

Stef

I'm strangely getting used too having no privacy in the shower, and bathroom, and i never thought i would or this quick. They were wrong loyalty isn't the first quality you lose in prison, it's modesty. I was watching the shampoo out of my hair when i heard footsteps on the floor. It's a strange time to get a shower but maybe someone ran the track and are sweaty or wants to take one before visitations.

"Well well well… you do have great titties" Fenderman said and two girls i've seen around were standing behind her. One was the black girl that caused a scene over me taking her seat and was making me seem racist cause of it. Well this can't be good.

"Oh do it already" the black girl said smiling evilly at me.

I went to try and leave but Fenderman shoved me against the wall and began choking me. I fought to get free, fought to breathe.

'Stay alive for me' Lenas words echo in my head.

I grew weaker and weaker the longer her hands are around my neck. I don't know how long i can last, if i can even live through this. It felt like eternity before another inmate came too go too the bathroom. Hearing the footsteps she let go of my throat. I fell too the ground gasping for breath. Fenderman got down too my level.

"Say anything and youll die." she threatened and then they left. I caught my breath and got up still shaking. I got up and stood under the water for a while to calm me. I grabbed my towel and dried myself off. The inmate that came in looked at me from the toilet.

"Hey you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah" i lied.

Lena

I can tell that something was wrong with her when i first saw her. She was sitting really rigidly and almost looked like she was shaking a bit. When i got to hug her i could tell for a fact she was shaking. I didn't want to stop hugging her, she needs me. Something happened and i can't comfort her because the cops told us to stop. She sat back down and she rubbed her throat and swallowed hard. What happened to her?

"So you have a prison wife, yet?" Jesus asked.

"I have someone who thinks she's my prison wife" she answered her voice coming out quietly.

"Is her name really Tiger?" he asked laughing.

"Uh no it's a nickname" she said but she seems distracted. She keeps rubbing her neck, it's worrying me.

"I've missed you" i said taking her hand trying to comfort her. Her hands are shaking so badly.

"I missed you to" she said.

Stef

I tried to keep a smile and act like nothing happened but i'm still shaking. I know Lena can tell. It was great too hug Lena it gave me a little bit of comfort which i really need right now. I know i can't tell anyone, choking someone while they're in the shower message taken. I have ten days left, i need too not make this worse for me. Just need to keep a low profile and survive.

But something that's still just hitting me is that Fenderman was the one who was trying to kill me. Someone from my 'prison family'. Can i really trust anyone here?

Alisha

Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. October 16th is me and Lenas anniversary and i'm not going to miss it this year. This year is when we get back together and get to live our lifes like we planned. Now that we have the Stefanie bitch died and out of our way we can finally be happy again.

Fenderman

I can't believe we screwed up, we never screw up. That bitch was only seconds away from death and of course someone has too go too the bathroom. Now she knows it's us, she has an advantage. I should have just let Michaels do it. Why did i want to do it myself? That was too risky, now she knows someone from her little family isn't the good guy.

I have too tell Alisha, she's going to be mad. She gave me strict instructions to kill that whore off and i failed her.

"How could you fail to kill her? You fucking retard" she shouted into the phone.

"Someone came into the bathroom" i defended myself.

"So you still should have finished her off. Now that inmate and that bitch is on too you. You have to kill her as soon as possible." she said.

"I think we should wait abit" i argued.

"Wait? God you're fucking stupider than i thought. I should have left you too die, you're no fucking use too me." she shouted. She's just using me. She doesn't care about me she just wants me to do her dirty work so she can follow her delusion of being back with Lena. I'm done.

"No i'm fucking done! Find someone else too do your dirty work" i said and she laughed.

"Aww how cute, you think you're done. You just attempted to kill a police officer in the shower and you left a witness. You have to finish this off." she said. She has a point what am i suppose to do now?

"Find someone else, i'm done" i said hanging up. There's only one option. I kill myself! I'm not giving Alisha what she wants anymore, i would rather die than do that. Besides it's not like i'm ever getting out of this hell hole.

All i can do is kill myself, maybe it will be an eye opener for Michaels and Smith.

**Ok so pretty intense chapter. Alisha has the brainwashing skills to rule the world, kinda of scary. I promise only like two or three more chapters at the most of Stef being in prison. I did a layout of the story from here on too see how much is still left to wrap up and considering it was like 10 bullet points long it will be about 50 chapters by the time i end it.**


	37. Chapter 37

Stef

I tried to act like nothing happened as best as i can but it's hard to cover up the bruises around my throat. Me and Fenderman haven't said a word to each other since. She tried to kill me and now i need to act like nothing happened. Also i don't know if i can trust the rest of my prison family. Is Tiger going to rape me or something? Is Silencer just being nice so i don't suspect her? I can't help being paranoid.

"What the hell happened to you?" Silencer asked.

"What do you mean?"i faked ignorance.

"Uh hello you have bruises along your throat that resemble a hand choking you" i swallowed hard. My throat is still killing me but i guess thats what happens when you get strangled.

"I'm fine" i responded because i have no idea what to say too this.

"Fine? Who strangled you?" she asked as if not taking a no for an answer.

"Don't worry about it" i said but she wasn't having it.

"Who?" she asked throwing the laundry in the machine.

"Inmates must report to their proper cubicle until further notice" the voice over speakers said. What just happened? It can't be good.

"What the fuck?" Silencer said turning the machine off and heading out.

"What's going on?" i asked.

"I don't know, medical emergency or someone committed suicide probably" she said. Someone committed suicide? Does that happen often?

Lena

I got out of my car at home. It's lunch time, and so no ones home which i know i shouldn't do but i just have to grab something quick. I looked up too see Alisha sitting on my porch.

'This isn't real, this isn't real. It's just your mind messing with you' i reminded myself. I blinked but she was still there when i opened my eyes.

"Hey Lena, i've missed you" she said walking closer to me. No this can't be happening.

"We can be together now" she said and i just shook my head.

"No" was all i could say as i backed up against the car. I need to call Mike or the cops in general.

"Yes we can now that Stef is gone we don't have to be unhappy anymore" she said. What the hell does she mean Stef is gone.

"What do you mean Stef is gone?" i yelled hoping somebody will be home and curious of what's going on. Stef going to jail has been the talk of the neighbors someone would be eavesdropping.

"You didn't hear? One of the girls…. um killed her" she said casually. Killed her? No this can't be happening.

"I'm calling the cops" i shouted getting my phone out of my pocket.

"Don't you see we can be together again. The future we planned can start now. Marriage, children, growing old together. Don't you want that?" she said and i just shook my head.

"Hello San Diego Police department" a man said.

"Hello Alisha Calluso is…" i said and she hit me taking the phone away.

"I'm sorry but you didn't leave me much choice" she said hanging up.

"Come on lets go inside" she said holding her hand out.

"I'm not going anywhere with you" i said feeling tears in my eyes.

"Honey i know that you are probably mad at me, thats why i want us to go inside so we can talk" she said as if i would want to hear anything she said.

"You had someone kill her, didn't you" i shouted.

"No Lena, she's a police officer in jail what did you think was going to happen." she asked like she expected me to take the news that my wife is dead lightly. She's dead? How could that be? I just saw her last night.

"Honestly i'm kind of sad that it happened, i wanted to be her friend. We aren't that much different" she said and i could kill her myself if it wasn't for the kids.

"Shut the fuck up!" i yelled.

"Stefs nothing like you, nothing. You're a fucking monster" i shouted and she laughed.

"She wanted to kill me, i saw it in her eyes." she claims as if it would make a difference. I want to kill her!

Stef

I can't believe this after an hour of lockdown we figure out that Fenderman killed herself. Why would she do that? I thought she was set on killing me but instead she kills herself. This doesn't mean i'm safe the two girls with her still want to kill me. Alisha will just command one of them too do it instead. I watched as Silencer and Tiger started crying and hugged each other. I don't know if i trust them either.

"I'm so sorry" i said because if they are good than they are grieving someone they thought they knew.

"Why would she kill herself? This doesn't make any sense." Tiger said. Yeah it doesn't make any sense. Maybe she thought i would tell and decided she would rather die than deal with being trialed for attempted murder.

"I don't know… do you think it has anything to do with Alisha?" Silencer asked catching my attention they know about Alisha.

"She was done with her" she answered.

"Maybe she wasn't" Tiger said shaking her head.

"I hate that bitch" she said sincerely pissed off. Maybe they aren't bad people and only Fenderman was. I don't know what to think.

Lena

Thankfully the cops came, i'm going to assume they tracked my phone to figure out where i live.

"I love you" she said kissing me and i pulled away. Than she made a run for and the one cop tackled her to the ground.

"You're going back to prison" he said to her as the other cop came to check on me.

"I'm fine… i need too know if Stef is ok" i said.

"She's fine" he said.

"Alisha said she got killed in a fight" i said crying hysterically as it really hit me.

"No another inmate committed suicide today but no fights i know about. I'll call and check" he said when he saw that wasn't enough.

"Hello it's Officer Kesler i'm calling to make sure inmate Stefanie Foster met count today" he said.

"Ok good" he said and i sighed.

"Count was an hour ago and the jail was in lockdown today due to the suicide so no she's fine"he said to me. Oh thank god.

"Tell her that she needs to call her wife when she can" he said too the cop on the other line.

"Alright well she's fine… now are you ok" he said and i nodded.

"Yeah just freaked me out." i said.

"We need to get you too the station too give your statement" he said and i nodded. He looked over at his friend who was arresting Alisha.

"Back up is on it's way we will go with them" he said. Not wanting to put me back there with Alisha which i'm grateful for.

Stef

A security guard came up too me.

"Inmate Foster" he said in his serious tone. Well this can't be good.

"Yes?" i asked walking over near him.

"You should probably call your wife" he said. Thats the last thing i expected him to say.

"What?" i asked confused. Why is he going out of his way to tell me too call Lena? I'm not suppose to be getting special privileges and they make sure i'm not.

"I got a call from Officer Kesler asking if you were alive. I don't know what happened but she was under the believe that you were killed in a fight" he said. Killed in a fight? Where would she be getting that idea from and why was she with a cop.

"Can i go call her now?" i asked. Even though lockdown is over the security guards are like go insane with protocol and i'm not sure if calling is allowed now.

"Sure but i have too come with you" he said and we went down to the telephones. I typed in Lenas number and she picked up.

"Oh thank god you called" she said.

"Honey what happened?" i asked so worried.

"Alisha was on our porch when i went home during lunch. She didn't hurt me but she told me you were killed in a fight i was so worried" she said.

"I'm fine, she was lying. Are you ok? She was arrested, right?" i asked. Oh great Alisha will be in here herself soon. Talk about drama.

"Yes and i'm fine. I'm worried about you what will happen when she's in jail with you" she said crying.

"Hey i'll be fine, i mean i have Tiger in my prison family" i said trying to reassure her. Yeah i just hope she's not bad.

"I think someone with the name Tiger can take Alisha" i said and i hope thats true too.

"Ok just be careful… hey i heard there was a suicide are you ok?" she asked.

"Yeah um… it was Fenderman but i wasn't that close to her" i said. Yeah i wasn't that close to her before and then she tried to kill me and now i'm really not close to her.

"Oh i'm sorry" she said. Don't be i'm safer this way.

"It's ok."

"Hey what happened yesterday?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" i asked faking ignorance.

"You were clearly upset yesterday and you were shaking" she said and i sighed. What am i suppose to say?

"Honey i was fine, i just took a shower and the water was cold" i said and it wasn't a lie. I did just take a shower and the water is always cold.

"You sure?" she asked. "You were rubbing your neck and seemed like you're voice was low."

"Oh yeah no big deal just a sore throat going around the prison, like everyone has it." i lied but i can't tell her the truth not until i get out of here alive because it won't happen if i tell.

Alisha came in the next day and everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at her. What is she a god too these people? She stared at me with a look of so much hatred. Well this should be fun. She was assigned the bunk that Fenderman used to sleep in. I can tell this isn't going to end well. I can tell Tiger doesn't like her. I looked over too see the two girls who were also there when Fenderman tried to kill me and i can tell they aren't happy she's here either. Well that doesn't make any sense. Wouldn't they be happy there leader is back?

"You're the reason she killed herself" the one said staring right at her as she walked past her. Is this some type of rebellion?

**Please keep reviewing. Only one more chapter of Stef in jail and then her hearing. **


	38. Chapter 38

Stef

It's my sixth day in prison, hard to believe tomorrow i've been in here a week. Strangely it didn't go as slowly as i thought it would. I've been avoiding Alisha at all costs but it's hard when she is just one cubicle away. Yay i thought some of my neighbors at home were bad. I'm starting to think that the rest of the group is good, or at least as far as being in jail goes. I figured out that Silencer is in here for getting drunk and fake robbing a bank. Like who goes to jail for that. Oh yeah the drunk girl with a squirt gun jokingly demanding money is really a threat. If i was called to the scene i probably would have just laughed. She got six months for that, she has two down.

I never figured out Tigers story but i've heard rumors that she's killed someone. I decided it's best not to ask.

Alisha came over too my cube staring right at me.

"Get the fuck out of here" Tiger yelled.

"Shut up, cat" she said and silencer pulled Tiger back.

"It's Tiger" Tiger corrected.

"Be a good kitty" she said and i can practically see Tiger plotting Alishas death.

"I'm actually here too talk too Stefanie" she said.

"Who's Stefanie?" Silencer asked.

"I don't want too talk too you" i clarified.

"Wait blondie you're name is Stephanie?" she asked.

"Did you really think my mom named me Blondie?" i asked and she shrugged.

"I'm not asking" she said.

"Ok you just called Tiger a kitty i'm sure she's more than willing to attack you" i said surprising myself at how bold i'm being.

"Oh now you have someone else doing your dirty work? I thought you enjoyed beating me too the point that i almost died" she said and i tried my best to keep a poker face.

"Wow… i didn't see that coming" Tiger said.

"Isn't that right, Blondie?" she said. 'She's just trying to get under my skin' i reminded myself.

"It was self defense" i said and she laughed.

"Yeah you're a lucky bitch you're getting off on that. I kicked you once you hit me over and over and over again. You wanted to kill me! Guess we aren't that much different, are we" she said and i jumped up slamming my hand down on the bedside table.

"Shut the fuck up" i yelled and she laughed.

"My point exactly" she said.

"Don't worry kitty i'm getting out of your territory" she said leaving.

"Well that was something" Silencer said.

"Sorry" i said sitting down.

"It's ok but you did use my line and it's copyrighted so you owe me" she joked and i laughed.

"I can't believe she called me kitty" Tiger said. "How insulting"

"Please if i had a laser pointer you would chase after it" silencer teased her.

"What happened?" Silencer asked.

"My wife is her ex girlfriend, she's ruined her life. Than she gets out of jail and sent her letters, and followed her and i just…. I don't know. She came after me, thinking i'm the thing standing in the way of her happiness with Lena. She kicked me and i defended myself and then i don't know something happened and i just kept hitting her. I wanted her to die, more than i wanted anything…." i admitted and Tiger sighed.

"Let me guess you are scared of who you might be. You don't know if you can trust yourself and you are not sure if you should even be around you're family anymore. You're thinking maybe you belong here because at least you're family is safe without you there" she said and i looked down. Why does she sound like she talks from experience? Either that or she can read minds.  
"I killed my wife's rapist" she confessed looking ashamed herself. Wow ok then.

"We were young, in love and all that. She just was so full of life, you know. We went out drinking one night and i got so drunk i passed out. He drugged her and then raped her and i wasn't there to protect her, like i promised her. When i figured out what happened i became obsessed with finding him and killing him. I wasn't fully there for her when she really needed me. Than i go and find him and shoot him three times, getting myself sent to jail. So now i'm really not here for her. All i wanted to do was protect her and instead i just ruined everything" she said sadly.

Well that explains a lot. I feel bad for her. I don't know what id do if someone were to rape Lena.

"Trust me get out of here when you can, because she needs you" she said and i nodded.

"Yeah" i said.

"I don't know if it makes us bad but you don't seem like someone who could ever hurt you're family. Get out and be a better person than me" she said and i hugged her.

"And i'm sorry if i made you feel like i was going to rape you" she said and i laughed. Guess i was wrong about her too.

Lena

Well today i have my first therapist appointment in like fifteen years. Yay this should be fun.

"So tell me why you're here" Katie Douglas, my new therapist asked.

"Oh um… well it's a long story. My ex-girlfriend, from like eighteen years ago, abused me and after a year i told her i wanted to break up and she stabbed me…" i started.

"Wow that couldn't have been easy for you. I see that you have had a therapist before and were diagnosed with PTSD" she said and i nodded.

"Uh yeah i did after the incident, i stopped seeing her about fifteen years ago" i explained.

"Why did you stop going?"

"I don't know life started to get back to normal. I had a one year old son and a great wife, i guess things started getting good again" i said and she nodded.

"So things started getting bad again lately?" she asked.

"Yeah you could say that. She came back on parole and followed me, sent me a letter. She was fixed on getting me back. I started getting the nightmares again…." i explained.

"So during this grace time where she was in jail you weren't having these nightmares?" she asked.

"I'd have an occasional one but no. Now i get them all the time" i said.

"So did you call the police?" she asked.

"Um before i could she seeked out my wife and attacked her and luckly Stef defended herself and put her in the hospital. Than since it went a little past self defense because she was in shock Stef was required to go to jail until her hearing. It's her sixth day out of thirteen." i explained and she nodded.

"Is your ex in jail?" she asked.

"Alisha, yeah she is now. She escaped from the hospital for a bit but a few days ago she showed up at my house too talk about it and i called the cops and now unfortunately she's in the same jail as Stef" i explained and she just looked at me shocked.

"Wow you really do have quite a drama here" she said.

"Yeah unfortunately."

"So are you confident she's going to pass her hearing?" she asked. I never really let myself consider if she didn't. What would we do than?

Stef

It was lunch time and everything seemed normal. Silencer and Tiger were trying to guess my bra size out of pure boredom and i watched as the oldest resident, who has too have dementia, had a conversation with her "son" who really is just a tomboy who apparently resembles her son.

"No she would have to be a C cup" Silencer said and i rolled my eyes.

"Hey pull you're scrubs around you tighter" Tiger commanded and i laughed.

"Really guys 36C get over yourself" i said and they laughed.

"I knew it, i guessed she was in the 30sC range" Silencer said. Than looked over at the old lady talking to her "son".

"How about her?" i rolled my eyes.

"D easily" i said as screaming broke out from the other table.

"She fucking killed herself because of you" the black girl yelled at Alisha.

"Inmates" the security guard yelled splitting it up. I can tell this isn't over she looks like she wants to kill her and for some reason i don't doubt that she will.

It was a few hours later and i was running the track when an announcement went over the speaker.

"All inmates must report to their assigned cube" it said. What the hell? This is the second one and i've been here for six days. Great now i have to sit sweaty through a lockdown.

"What's going on?" i asked Silencer who shrugged.

"Rumor is anti-racist racist killed Alisha" she said. Wow she killed her?

Anti-racist racist? They come up with the best nicknames in jail. I guess that will be the girl who was with Fenderman when she strangled me.

"I saw it, it was in the tv room there was no guards for a while and she just beat her up" said a girl from a cube over that i haven't met.

"And she died?" Silencer said.

"Looked dead to me. She hit her multiple times in the chest it can stop the heart" she said either it's good that she knows that, like she used to be a doctor but got involved in drugs, or bad like she's kills people. Probably the second one.

I just can't believe she's dead, it almost doesn't seem real. You would think it would be harder to kill her.

After lockdown it was confirmed that she did indeed die and Anti-racist racist as they call her has been locked up in the mental wing of jail. She's actually died.

**I feel like i killed Alisha off a little too easily, maybe it should have been more dramatic (I guess assume it was but Stef wasn't there) but this is what you're getting. Next chapter is Stefs hearing. So after that would be more of a resolution so it will start not being as intense. Please review and let me know what you think. **


	39. Chapter 39

Mike

I came by to pick up Brandon for our normal Thursdays day together. It's two days before Stefs hearing and i'm hoping it goes her way. I've heard almost controversial opinions on her case. There are people who believe it's ridiculous she was even sent to jail, claiming it was clearly self defense and it's a violation of her rights to send her to jail. However on the other side people believe that since it went passed defending herself that she should remain in jail. There also is a huge political debate if she should be allowed to be a cop. Poor Stef her fifteen minutes of fame is really not flattering. Anyone who knows her knows that she shouldn't have gone to jail and should be given her job back.

"Hey dad" he said getting into the car.

"Hey B" i said we went back to my house.

"So why is it that you were given custody?" he asked randomly.

"What do you mean?" i asked. That was really out of the blue. He knows that i was a sperm donor and i didn't think there was questions past that.

"Well i don't know it seems weird that a sperm donor would be given custody" he said.

"I didn't want a kid who wouldn't know who i was too them, i made that clear too you're mom. So after a bit of an argument we agreed that it was best you knew who i was and was raised with a dad" i clarified.

Stef

Todays my hearing and if all goes well i won't have to go back to jail. I missed my family too much. I missed holding Lena, teasing the kids, her good cooking, privacy… i could go on. I'm shocked though there is a few things i'll miss about prison, Silencer and Tiger. When i heard i was going to jail i thought i would make friends as a form of protection, i never once thought i would actually like anyone. I was wrong i ended up making two amazing friends and i'm gonna miss them.

"Get out, Blondie. See the world, eat chocolate, be free you got your whole life ahead of you" Tiger said lightly punching me on the arm.

"Alright got it" i said laughing.  
"When i get out in four months we are so getting drunk together, and you're so not letting me do anything illegal during…" she joked and i laughed.

"Of course" i said.

"I mean it… don't think you can string me along for you're outside friends." she said.

"I won't, i promise" i said.

"Alright now no sappy goodbye shit, it's just depressing." she said and i laughed.

"I'm gonna miss you" Tiger said.

"Shut up" she said to her.

"I'll miss you to but don't dare get yourself back in here you're too good for it" she said and i hugged her.

"Oh we are doing this shit" she said sighing.

"Although you're boobs do feel nice" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"What no hug for Tiger?" she asked and i laughed. I hugged her.

"You don't belong here, kid. Remember that" she whispered and i nodded. I just hope the jury feels the same.

Lena

Today is Stefs hearing and i can't help but get worried. What if Stef doesn't get off on self defense. Me, Mike, her captain from the station are all testifying for her. Mike and her captain had too, but they would have either way. Mike has too just because he was there in person.

"Stefanie is it true that Alisha attacked you first?" he asked.

"Yes it is… i was heading home after a long shift and she snuck up on me and kicked me and i defended myself." she answered.

"So you didn't see the knife?" he asked. What is he trying to do?  
"No i didn't but i'm trained in self defense and trained that if someone hurts you too defend yourself even if you don't see a weapon" she said and i smiled at her.

"You kept hitting her, isn't that correct?" he asked.

"Yes i did i went into a state of shock so i don't remember her cutting me but when Mike pulled me back he pointed out that i was bleeding" she explained.

"Is it true Alisha got out on parole and stalked you're wife and sent her a letter?" he asked.

"The police did prosecute her for stalking Lena, yes, and she did send her a letter." she answered.

"Were you aware of the letter before the incident?" he asked.

"No… she didn't tell me until afterwards. Guess she was curious what it said" she answered. I never should have read that letter. I should have handed it too Stef immediately and have her report it.

Stef

Lena was up and i smiled at her. I know she's worried this won't go our way but i think it will. It was self defense and thats not arguable, also what goes past self defense since i was in shock, doctors confirmed and everything, will be covered by pleading temporary insanity. I have faith in my lawyer, he's doing a good job.

"So Lena has Stef have any history of violence?" he asked.

"No she was never a violent person" she said smiling at me. Never a violent person well i hope that continues.

"So you were surprised when you heard what happened?" he asked.

"Well yes and no, she was never violent but she would do anything to protect herself and more importantly her family" she said and i smiled at her.

My captain was up next and she gave me a polite smile.

"How long have Stefanie been working for you?" he asked.

"About nineteen years"

"During this time have you seen any violent actions from her?"

"No absolutely not. She hasn't gotten into a single fight with a fellow cop or anyone for as long as she's worked for me. In fact she's normally the peacekeeper" she said. Yeah i normally am stopping fights, had to stop that trait in prison or i would have gotten beaten.

Lena

The longer the hearing goes on the more relaxed i get. It's going well i would be shocked if she loses it after this. It was finally time for the jury to speak.

"The jury finds Stefanie Adams Foster innocent based off of self defense" the one woman said and i couldn't have heard better news. I saw Stefs face light up, and i'm sure mine did to. Oh thank god.

"Stefanie is to be released from prison, and go on a forced suspension from work until she pass the psych evaluation. Case dismissed" the judge said. Oh good she will also get to keep her job.

She came over and hugged me.

"I love you" she said sounding like she could cry.

"I love you too, so much" i said and then she went and hugged the kids. Everyone is thrilled she gets too come home. She went and got changed into actual clothes, i brought her her favorite blue plaid shirt and jeans. I never thought i would see Stef so happy about clothes.

Last night i made my homemade mac-and-cheese (which Stef loves) and cooked up chicken in the crockpot so i can shred it and turn into buffalo chicken sandwiches. So all i have to do is heat it up pretty much. We would have went out but Stef prefers my cooking than eating out and it's her choice of meal.

Everybody was in which made it have a coming home party feel. Jude asked last night if he could make her a cake so i helped him do that. (Honestly i'm so thankfully she got out because it would be really bad if we had to eat this without her, totally ruin the mood.)

It was like a coming home party. Her mom, Mike, David, (and a few other station friends of Stef), me and the kids (obviously), her captain, Jenna and Kelly are all here to celebrate. Now i'm just worried there won't be enough food.

Me and Jude set the table and it was time to eat. I poured the adults a glass of wine and i can tell Stef has missed it. You would think she was gone for years.

"So come on you have to have interesting stories" David said and Stef laughed.

"Well the one day Silencer, which we called her because every time you said something she told you too shut up…" she said.

"I'm surprised you didn't come back with mental problems" Captain said and she laughed.

"So am i, anyways we were down at the track and there was this woman who has some serious issues that would walk it talking to herself. We believe she thought she was talking to god. Anyways we were walking past her and i said something too Silencer and she told me to shut up but this lady thought it was god. So she like immediately dropped to her knees and started praying for forgiveness and confessing her sins. She admitted the craziest things like she used to sit on her balcony and throw water balloons filled with soda at cops and totally weird things like that." she said slightly laughing at the memory.

"Oh my god, thats hilarious" David said laughing. Stef continued telling stories and joking around throughout the dinner. We had cake and then people started heading home. Once everyone left and the kids went to bed we went upstairs. Finally i'm not sleeping in an empty bed anymore.

"I missed you so much" i said kissing her passionately.

"I missed you to" she said sitting down on the bed.

"And i missed this bed" she said laying down. I laughed. Really? Guess the beds were really bad.

"I missed you in bed with me" i said taking off my shirt and she laughed.

"Oh i see how much you missed me" she teased and i sat down with her.

Stef

I've missed this so much, holding her and everything. Guess distance does make the heart grow fonder. She was kissing me and her hand laid on the side of my neck. I don't want her hand there! I grabbed it and moved it and she sat up looking at me confused.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong." i said kissing her.

"Somethings wrong" she said and i sighed.

"Fenderman choked me" i admitted and she looked completely shocked.

**So Stefs out of jail, so be happy. I still have some topics to wrap up so it will 45-50 chapters long probably. Sometime today i will get up another chapter of 'a familiar face, unrecognized'**


	40. Chapter 40

Lena

'Fenderman choked me' I knew something happened.

"Oh my god, are you ok?" i asked worried.

"Yeah um it happened the day of our first visitation. I didn't tell you because i was trying to protect myself" she said. She had to of been so scared. Fenderman probably threatened her.

"Why would she?" i asked confused.

"She was one of Alisha's minions she was using my prison family so i wouldn't suspect her i guess" she said.

"I'm so sorry" i said. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for my stupid ex.

"It's ok, i'm ok. This isn't your fault, it's Alisha." she said. I'm just lucky they didn't kill her.

"Wait why didn't they kill you?" i asked.

"Someone walked into the bathroom" she answered. This happened in the bathroom?

"Bathroom?" i asked.

"Oh yeah i was in the shower" she said making it worse. She was choked in the shower? Now that is just wrong.

"Oh my god, honey. You should have said something Mike would have gotten you more protection in there" i said and she shook her head.

"They wouldn't favor me and then i would have been even more of a target. I got out alive isn't the enough?" she asked. She has a point i am thankful she got alive apparently she came close to dying in there.

"No you're right you did the right thing" i said.

"I'm just so glad you're ok. Did anything else happen?" i asked just too make sure.

"No thankfully. That was enough" she said sounding like she could cry.

"Oh honey. It's ok" i said hugging her. She's trying to keep herself from crying, i hate when she does that.

"It's ok sweetie" i said and she broke down. It's seems like i almost have to give her permission to cry. I rubbed her back and kept whispering stuff like 'it's ok, you're alright' and 'i love you'. It's so rare that Stef truly breaks down and even rarer in front of people.

"What you said kept echoing in my head" she said and i had no idea what she's talking about.

"What did i say?" i asked.

"Stay alive for me" she said and i smiled at her.

"Oh babe" i said kissing her. How long were they choking her? She might have been really close to dying. Been at the point where she didn't even want to fight anymore, but did for me. My poor baby.

I lied down and opened my arms for her. It's rare that she lays her head on my chest normally it's the other way around but she needs me right now.

Stef

The next day was a typical Saturday and we went down to the beach as a family. With the kids in the water me and Lena are alone. I know people are looking at us and talking about us. I'm pretty famous by now, whether it's good or bad is iffy but still famous. Not everyone seems to agree with the jury's decision. One family even got up and left when we came and sat down. Really?

"Do you remember when they were afraid to get the ocean?" i asked watching as Jesus dove under wave after wave.

"Yeah it wasn't that long ago for some of them" she joked.

"Do you remember when we were first dating and we would come here just talk about anything" she said and i laughed.

"Yeah i remember you getting drunk on the beach in front of my mom" i said and she laughed.

"Oh yeah…i remember when you were pregnant with B and we would come down late at night because you couldn't sleep" she said. We would go for a walk on the beach and it would always relax me enough to get me too go too sleep.

"Yeah who thought our life would be like it is now" she said watching our five kids.

"I did" i said and she glared at me.

"What i'm psychic" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah ok" she said.

"What i predicted Brandons name before he was born" i said and she laughed.

"It's not like they come with a name tag, you are the one that named him" she pointed out.

"Oh sure whatever you want to tell yourself but i have real psychic abilities" i said and she laughed.

"Oh sure" she said. "Why haven't you won the lottery yet?"

"Ok i don't pick what i see in my visions" i said and she laughed.

Lena

I woke too the sound of Stef pacing the room, it's a nervous habit of hers.

"You alright?" i asked and she jumped.

"Yeah just can't sleep" she said continuing to pace, it's a stress relief for her.

"What used too a bad bed by now?" i asked.

"Just can't sleep" she said and started to take off her pajamas and change into running clothes.

"Stef what are you doing?" i asked concerned. It's three in the morning and she can't possibly think she's running now.

"Going for a run… i'll be back in a bit" she said a little panicked.

"Stef it's three in the morning, you are not going on a run right now. What's wrong?" i asked but she didn't seem to really listen.

"I'll take a flashlight" she said as if that makes it better.

"You aren't going on a run. Come talk to me" i said and she kept pacing.

"I need to go run" she said as if she actually believes it's a necessity.

"No you don't, just sit down and talk to me" i tried to reason with her but she doesn't seem to be budging. She went too leave.

"Stefanie" i said going after her. She kept walking and i followed her.

"Stef" i said catching up with her.

"You're having a panic attack you're ok" i said. Normally Stef is dealing with me having an anxiety attack not the other way around.

"No i have too…" she said but i stopped her before she could run out the door.

"Just breathe ok, in through your nose out through your mouth" i said doing it with her. Eventually she calmed down and i sighed of relief. I have to give Stef credit it's hard dealing with someone having a panic attack she did a really good job with me.

"Come on lets go upstairs and talk" i said grabbing her sweaty hand. I lead her up too our room and we sat down in bed.

"I'm sorry" she said.

"For what, babe?" i asked.

"Panicking" she said as if she should have stopped it somehow. I've had panic attacks a lot so i know it's not something you can just say 'no i'm not going to have an anxiety attack' and then it goes away. It's very hard to think logically during a panic attack.

"Honey you can't help that. You don't need to apologize for something that is out of your control" i said and she nodded.

"Babe was this about what Fenderman did too you?" i asked concerned but she shook her head, no. I can't tell if she's lying.

"Well than what was it about" i asked and she kept looking down.

"Nothing" she lied.

"You didn't panic over nothing" i reasoned.

"I'm fine" she claimed.

"Well thats not fair. When i had a panic attack you made me talk about it" i pointed out.

"You needed to talk about it, even you're therapist told me i needed to make you talk about it" she argued.

"Well same goes for you. Just because you don't have a therapist doesn't get you off the hook, if you had one she would tell you talk about it" i said.

"Its not a big deal"she continued to argue and i groaned.

"It was a huge deal too you not too long ago. I mean you had a panic attack over it"

"People can have panic attacks over pointless things" she argued back and she's right. Some people do panic over the tiniest insignificant detail that afterwards doesn't anything too them at all afterwards but thats not Stef.

"Yeah but thats not you Stef" i said and her reaction surprised me.

"Yeah well maybe you don't know me that well" she said turning around as if to dismiss the conversation. What does she mean by that?

"What wouldn't i know about you, Stef? Go ahead tell me" i encouraged and she kept her back turned to me.

"At least stop acting like you're sixteen" i said annoyed after she didn't answer. I turned off the light and turned on my side too.

"Maybe i'm not the person you fell in love with anymore" she said quietly. What is going on that she would think that.

"Thats not true" i said neither of us moving from laying with our backs to each other.

"I was going to kill her" she said and i sighed. This is what this is about? Her attacking Alisha.

"I know" i responded and she turned towards me and i did the same.

"I wanted to kill her" she admitted as if confessing her sins. I can tell she feels guilty about it. 'Maybe i'm not the person you fell in love with anymore' she thinks she's a bad person because of this.

Stef

Lena doesn't understand. How can i be a good person if i wanted to kill someone? I was going to kill her. I was going to keep hitting her and hitting her until she died if Mike hasn't showed up. Than what would i have done? Hid the body. This isn't who i want to be but what if i am. What if i did enjoy hurting her? Watching her dying? I would do anything for my family. Die for them, fight to stay alive for them. Kill for them if necessary but that shouldn't be something i want to do. So what's wrong with me?

**Poor Stefs mid-life crisis is no where near over. Let me know what you you will have to get use too waiting more than a couple of hours for an update on this story again. My first day of school is tomorrow :( trust me i will still be writing as much as i can**


	41. Chapter 41

Mike

Not everybody at the station is exactly happy that Stef got out of jail or is given the chance too come back too work. The majority of them are don't get me wrong but there are a few who at least politically don't believe she should have gotten out.

Megan, who Stef has a long running feud with, and Jake were sitting talking about it.  
"No she shouldn't have gotten out she tried too kill someone she's milking the self defense story." Megan said and i rolled my eyes.

"Yeah and she can come back too work?" Jake asked. What is this high school? There gossiping like a bunch of high school girls.

"Thats what i heard…. i always knew there something off about her" Megan said and i got annoyed.

"Yes it was self defense, yes she got out and yes she can come back too work. Are you girls done gossiping yet?" i said and Megan looked down. I groaned and walked away. It's pointless with those two.

"Why is he defending his lesbian ex-wife?" Megan asked putting disgust behind the word lesbian.

"Ok first of all our marriage was fake and don't say lesbian like it's a bad thing it has no effect on you who she loves" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Whatever won't be my problem when the whore goes too Hell" she said and David walked over.

"Whore? Honey stop talking too the mirror. Youve slept with more guys than me and i'm gay we sleep with everyone" he said and i burst into laughter. Normally David gets very mad at that stereotype which made it even funnier. Megan looks like she's been slapped. She didn't say anything and David laughed.

"Yeah thats what i thought. Don't mess with my girl" he said and i laughed. Only David.

"You're girl?" i asked and he laughed.

"Yeah she's my girl don't be jealous" he said and i laughed at him.

"Ok i'm not jealous i wouldn't want too be you're girl but i kinda think it's more like you're Stefs girl" i said and he gave me the hand and walked off.

Stef

The next day Lena decided too bring last nights episode up again. Great i was hoping we could try and forget about that. I shouldn't have said it but i was tired and annoyed.

"Stef we need too talk about it" she said refusing too budge.

"I shouldn't have said that i was tired" i said and she groaned.

"Yeah well you say the truth when you're tired" she argued and i don't know what too argue back.

"What is there too talk about?" i asked and she gave me a look of 'really are you kidding me?'

"I know you feel guilty about what happened and you shouldn't" she said as if it was that easy.

"What if i should be in jail?..." i said and she looked shocked.

"It was self defense" she argued.

"Yeah but what if it wasn't" i said and she shook her head no.

"Stef i saw the video… that was self defense" she argued.

"What because she kicked me? I hit her until she was unconscious, you said it yourself you saw the video" i said and she sighed.

"Yeah i did and i also saw that she had a knife. What do you think she was planning on doing?" she argued.

"I know she was planning on killing me but that doesn't justify my actions." i yelled and she looked at me confused.

"Ok than what is self-defense too you? Because that sounds like a clear case of it" she said and i logically know it is. She attacked me first, was going after my family,previous threat (the tire being slashed), having a weapon it's all factors in a textbook definition of self defense. I know if i were too take a step back from it being me and looked at it as a cop i would call it as that but i just can't do that.

I know that deep down part of me wanted too kill her and thats just something i can't make peace with.

Lena

I know Stef feels guilty which is proof that she's not the bad person she thinks she is. She actually believes she should be in jail? As what a punishment? She doesn't belong there doesn't she see that.

"I just don't know if i should be trusted with you and the kids" she said honestly thinking that she's a threat too us.

"Stephanie! You could never hurt me or the kids i know you can't" i said. I can't believe she's doubting herself this much.

"Yeah but…" she said but i interrupted her.

"But nothing as much as i denied it i knew before Alisha started too get abusive that she has an abusive personality. I never saw that in you because you're not an abusive person." i said but i can see that she doesn't believe me.

"Yeah well can we really trust you're judgement of people" she said and i tried too keep myself from getting mad.

"Yes alright, you know i don't just trust anyone. You had too win over my trust, it's not easy." i said and she nodded.

"I know sorry i didn't…" she started.

"You don't belong in jail. You might not believe me but you did the right thing. Alisha would have killed you and than would have came for me…. We need you Stef. What you did was too protect you're family and protect yourself. In no way is that wrong." i said. I know this is going too be a slow process but i have too be here for her though it like she was there for me with all of Alisha stuff.

Stef

Mike was over for the football game and so it was me, Mike and Jesus watching and screaming at the tv. Half time came and Lena sighed of relief.

"Oh thank god you guys are getting annoying" she complained laughing. I took a sip of my beer.

"Oh David sassed Megan for you today so you should probably call 'you're girl'" he said and i laughed as both Lena and Jesus gave me a weird look.

"I'll call him later, what did he say?" i asked and he laughed.

"Well she was spouting her mouth off about you, called you a whore …" he said and i rolled my eyes.

"Of course she did even through she's slept with every straight man there well minus you" i said and he laughed.

"I wouldn't sleep with her she's crazy" he said and i smiled. Good he would have been in so much trouble if he said the opposite.

"Anyways he told her too stop talking too the mirror and that she's slept with more boys than him which say a lot since he's gay and supposedly gay men sleep with everyone" he said and i burst into laughter.

"Oh David he's the best" i said. "I'll deal with Megan when i get back let me guess she made a crude remark about my sexuality at least once in the conversation."

"Yeah i told them too quit gossiping when they were talking about you're hearing and she asked why i'm defending my lesbian ex-wife" i said and Jesus gave me a weird look.

"Wait… you two were married?" he asked confused.

"Oh yeah but it was fake" Mike said and he gave us both a weird look.

"It's a long story" Me, Mike and Lena said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Well there a lot of different things going on so it would take a while too tell" i explained.

"No why did you get a fake marriage?" he asked.

"Oh yeah well me and you're mom broke up for a while and than i married him pretty much too please my dad. It was kind of a rough time" i said summing it up.

"So you just married her?" Jesus asked Mike confused.

"Not really I told her she was crazy the first time she said it. Than i went though a bad break up and made a kind of rash decision too say yes and we got married two days later." he said and i laughed.

"Yeah we were a little impulsive. The thing is i kinda thought better of it by than but i decided that i was going too stick with my original decision" i said and Lena laughed.

"A little impulsive? We break up and not even a day later you decided too get fake married" she said making me sound terrible.

"Fake" i emphasized. "We were both under the understanding that it was fake, right Mike" i said and he nodded.

"So did you guys live together?" he asked.

"Not really it was only really a thing for a couple of weeks." i explained.

Lena

You would think with Alisha being dead my anxiety would go down. After all things are starting too look up. My wifes not in jail so she's not in danger, Alisha is dead so i'm safe. There's no threat anymore so why am i still having these nightmares. Last night i had a nightmare that i woke up and Alisha was sleeping next too me.

**Sorry about the wait, just starting school. Let me know what you think.**


	42. Chapter 42

Stef

She kissed me and pulled me down too the bed with her. I know it's been forever since we have had sex, which should make me want it more. It just feels forced. Something feels different about it.

"Everything ok?" she asks cautiously. I think she can tell too something is wrong.

"Yeah why…" i said and she cut me off.

"You're not really participating" she said and i bite my lip and awkwardly shook my head.

"Sorry i just…" i trailed off.

"Just what?" she asks sitting down. She was in lingerie and she looked completely hot in it. So what's wrong with me.

"Nothing" i said shaking my head.

"No tell me. What's going on?" she asked.

"Nothing i just thought you were going to lead." i said awkwardly.

"Yeah but I still want you too want to do it" she said.

"I do want too…" i said and she leaned against the backboard of the bed and i did the same.

"Well than am i doing something wrong?" she asked self consciously.

"No…" i rushed to assure her. "It's not you, you're perfect"

She smiled at me and took my hand, "Well than what's going on with you that i need to know about?"

I looked down not wanting to make eye contact. Lena is pretty comfortable talking about sex i on the other hand still act like a high schooler getting all awkward during their first sexual experience even though i've been with Lena for almost nineteen years.

"You can tell me" she said knowing i feel awkward.

"I don't know" i admitted honestly shrugging.

She sighed, "Ok well you have been through some stress it's normal it will fade"

Lena

The next day i was making supper and Stef was making the salad. She turned around too me.

"You had another nightmare last night" she said sounding worried.

"Not a big deal." i tried to reassure her. I have no idea why i'm continuing to have these nightmares.

"Yes it is. These nightmares are still happening" she said.

"Honey it's ok… i'll talk to my therapist about it" i said going over and kissing her. I put my hand on the side of her neck and saw her flinch.

"You alright?" i asked it being my turn to be concerned.

"Yeah fine" she said acting like it's nothing.

"Stef it's not nothing. You always act like it's not a big deal…" i said and she looked at me shocked.

"Me? Guess i learned from the best…" she said and i sighed.

"Stef i mean it" i said seriously.

"So do I! You act like these nightmares are no big deal and then yell at me when i do the same." she yelled and i have to admit she has a point.

"I'm just worried about you is all. You believe you have to deal with your problems yourself" i said and she laughed humorlessly.

"Wow this is ironic. You are the one known to do that." she said and she has a point.

"Ok you're right…" i admitted and she smiled a bit too herself.

"...I just don't want you thinking you have to do this by yourself" she smiled at me.

"I don't want you too believe that either" she said and i nodded.

"Ok fair enough, guess we both have to work on that a bit." i said and she nodded.

"Yeah guess so. My problems are your problems and you're problems are my problems, deal?" she said holding her hand out. I laughed and rolled my eyes, thats so Stef.

"Deal" i said shaking her hand.

"We'll start tomorrow" she said and i laughed. Yep definitely Stef.

Stef

I went down to the station because today i have my psych evaluation to see if i'm mentally stable enough to come back to work. I know there's a good chance i could be told even though i'm good enough for work i still need to see someone to keep it that way. If i even pass, if i don't pass i have to wait two more weeks before i can test again.

As I walked through the station people were looking at me. I can tell not everybody is happy about it. Great some of my co-workers believe i should be in jail. Talk about awkward. I ignored everyone. Mike and David are out doing their route so there's no one i particularly want to talk to.

"Hi how you doing?" the psychologist that is hired to keep everything running smoothly said. Our station and the stations from the two towns around us hired a psychologist who goes from station to station. His job is too deal with the cops problems. Some have been in really bad situations due to the job and end up with PTSD and all that, or depression from seeing all the bad things in the world, or just too do psych evaluations too make sure someone is ok too do the job.

"Pretty good. You?" i said smiling at him politely. I've seen him around, i haven't been required too talk too him yet.

"I'm good." he said leading me into the room.

"So i have heard plenty about you lately." he said and i sighed.

"Yeah i know, got pretty famous" i joked trying to lighten the tension.

"Listen i'm on your side. You're a good cop and that was clearly self defense but not everyone agrees with me." he started. I can't tell where he's going with this.

"I know…"  
"It's become a huge controversial topic…." he said. Oh great i don't like the sound of this.

"Even if you pass this which i'm sure you will maybe it's best if you just don't come back for a while. Let this die down." he said and i nodded.

"So you don't want me to come back even if i pass it" i said and he shook his head.

"Thats not what i said. I want you too wait a bit, and i don't want you even taking the test today" he said and i sighed.

"Why not?" i asked.

"If people figure out that you took the test and didn't come back to work immediately after, it will look like you failed and thats the last thing you need." he said and i nodded.

"There's enough of going on about police brutality right now, with Ferguson case and all that. People are mad and they want too pin it on all police and you're going to get a lot of it because of your case. All i'm saying is maybe it's best to take a vacation. Let this whole craziness die down so you're just another cop coming back from a leave" he said.

What am i suppose to do until than? If money grew on trees i would have planted hundreds of them and we wouldn't have this problem but i don't have a magical tree.

"I have five kids and a wife we can barely feed with us both working…" i admitted and he nodded.

"That you have to take up with you're captain. I'm sorry i know this is inconvenient but as much as i couldn't care less about politics and i'm sure you're the same you should do what's best for your career politically or it might turn ugly" he advised and i nodded.

"Alright well thank you for meeting with me" i said shaking his hand.

"Of course i hope this sorts itself out" he said and i left.

I went down too captains office to see if i can talk to her and figure this out financially at least.

"Oh hey the girl who is getting our station on the news almost everyday" she said smiling at me. I gave her an apologetic smile.

"Yeah sorry about that" i said she shook her head.

"Don't worry about it, did you talk too Dr. Matthews?"she asked gesturing for me too close the door and then sit down and talk to her. I did as gestured.

"Yes i did, he thinks i should wait to come back" i said and she nodded.

"I believe thats the best thing to do" she agreed with him.  
"Ok but i have a family of seven…" i said and she interrupted me.

"No worries consider it a paid vacation." she said and i smiled my thanks.

"Thank you" i said and she smiled.

"Of course none of this is your fault we just need to proceed with caution here. Take it one step at a time and just wait it out" she said.

**Ok sorry about what happened with the last chapter, i have no idea what Fanfiction did with it but it was on off on off. If it happens with this chapter i might have to post the remaining chapters as a "New story" and just have it be "mistakes continued." hopefully that doesn't happen. Please review and let me know what you think. I would say about 5-8 more chapters.**


	43. Chapter 43

Lena

I sat in the waiting room waiting for my therapist too call me back while skimming through a magazine i'm not interested in. Stef would have came but she had to take Jude too his check up.

"Lena" she said and i got up happy this appointment can start so i can get it over with.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Good, you?" i asked.  
"Pretty good. I heard you're wife is out of jail" she said and i smiled. It's still such an odd sentence too hear.

"Yeah she's out, and allowed to go back to work in a little bit" i said. Stef told me she was strongly advised to accept a paid vacation until the politic stuff ends but thats something we are suppose to keep quiet.

"Thats great" she said. "So anything in particular you want too tell me about."

"I'm still having the nightmares…" i admitted and she nodded.

"Thats perfectly normal…"

"Alisha died, she got into a fight at prison" i said and she nodded.

"It's normal to still have the nightmares even after the person passes away. It means you're subconscious for one reason or another still doesn't understand that the threat is fully gone" she explained.

"Ok well what do we do to stop it?" i asked.

"You're subconscious is still obsessing that something is wrong which means that there's something about Alisha that you haven't faced yet. Something you have been keeping a secret for a very long time maybe even from yourself" she said and the idea is a bit creepy too be honest. Something about Alisha i kept secret from myself? Everything Alisha's done is so bad, what would be even worse that i kept it from myself?

"Now i don't want to worry you, there's a good chance it's just something you haven't fully faced. That you are already aware happened maybe even told people but there is a chance of it being a suppressed memory." she said.

"What do we do too figure out what it is?" i asked still concerned about the worse.

"Well we talk about those nightmares and try to see what they mean or if need be and with your approval, obviously, maybe hypnosis" she said. Hypnosis? I don't know if i would want to do that but i guess i should do whatever i can do to stop these nightmares.

Stef

'Oh come on now we all saw the video. She wanted to kill her you could see it. She shouldn't be allowed to come back to work let alone have her freedom. But hey give her a gun so she can hurt other people. Thats putting her wife and kids and the public in general in danger' Megan preached as I was leaving yesterday from my appointment to get my psych evaluation done.

The words 'Thats putting her wife and kids and the public in general in danger' kept repeating in my head. No matter how hard i try to convince myself the words are wrong i can't seem to believe that. What if i am a threat? All people have a snapping point where the just do something terrible that they normally wouldn't do; like kill a bunch of people, shoot up there family. What if i have already snapped? Am i still who i was before? Would i trust myself with my wife and kids?

I went to Mike's house too talk too him about it. I know that he will try to talk myself down but i need too talk to someone about it.

I got to his house and he was in the garage stopping me from just entering the house like i always do.

"Hey what's up?" he asked working on his car thats been having problems for a while now.

"Just need too talk too you about something. Any luck fixing old big blue?" i asked and he groaned.

"No he has seen better days, i hate to get a new one through" he said and i nodded.

"Need a hand?" i asked and he nodded.

"Yeah grab that flashlight over there" he said pointing to it. I grabbed it and shined it on the area he's working on.

"So what's going on?" he asked.

"Ok i know you're going to preach what you did the last time but i need an honest opinion…" i said and he looked over at me.

"No i'm not letting you set me up with David" he said and i laughed.

"I was joking" i denied and he rolled his eyes.

"Sure" he said.

"Oh come on, you would be so cute together" i said and he just glared at me.

"You are a terrible human being" he said and i forced a laugh. 'Yeah i know' i thought.

"So what's actually going on?" he asked.

"Be honest do you really think i should have gotten out of jail" i said and he sighed.

"This again. Listen I have known you since we were in high school, you are not who you are making yourself out too be" he said confidently.

"What if I shouldn't be with my family. I wanted to kill Alisha, thats not the type of person i want around my wife and kids" i explained watching as he was failing at fixing the car engine.

"First of all anybody would have done what you did that day. You're wife was in danger by the person who tried to kill her before, and made her life hell. I would have done the same as you and she's not even my wife…." he started and i know he's telling the truth. He would anything for his family which includes my family, not just me and Brandon.

"... Also i would trust you with my life, if i had more kids i would trust you with there life. You're a good person who wouldn't hurt anyone." he said looking up at me.

"Yeah but what if i'm not who i used to be? What if i… i don't know snapped" i said and he looked like he could almost laugh.

"Well than i guess i should be calling the FBI because you are on the top of there most wanted list for killing like twenty people" he joked laughing to himself.

"You're not funny" i said annoyed.  
"Yeah but you are" he commented and i rolled my eyes.

"You know what go fuck yourself" i said pissed. I'm trying too have a serious conversation with him and he goes making jokes like that.

"Wait, Stef" he said going after me.

"What i mean is you think you're this bad person and it's funny because you're the exact opposite. If this is you 'snapping' or 'reaching you're breaking point' you were a saint. People who reach their breaking point either kill themselves or a bunch of other people. You're not bad, Stef. You're just so good that now you think you are" he said and i really wish he was right.

"Ok you can do you're whole 'fuck you' exit now" he said turning and working on his car.

Lena

Mike called me and told me about his conversation with Stef. I know she feels guilty but how much she's taking it out on herself is unhealthy. Questioning things like that really? Does she really think she shouldn't be trusted with us, or that she's snapped.

"Mike told me what you two were talking about today" i said once we were alone in our room. She gave me a worried look and then forced a smile.

"What that i want to set him and David up" she said and i glared at her.

"Thats not right, Stef, and you know what i'm talking about" i said and she sighed.

"We promised each other we are going to talk about our problems with each other." i reminded her and she sighed.

"I'm just worried" she explained.

"About what?"

"That maybe I shouldn't be around you and the kids" she said and i shook my head.

"Honey thats rediculous. You're my wife and you're there mom, we need you. Not someone else, you." i explained and she still looked uncertain.

"What if i'm not good for you guys" she said and i just continued to shake my head.

"No Stef, that couldn't be further from the truth." i denied.

"I want you guys too be safe, happy and healthy and…" i can't believe she doesn't understand that we are safe, happy and healthy because of her.

"We are, Stefanie, because of you. You are the one too keep us safe, we aren't happy without you and we are healthy. Don't you see that you are the one that makes us happy? You're the one that make me happy and i know the kids love you too" i said and she sighed.

"What is it?" i asked when she didn't respond.

"Nothing it's just at one point in time Alisha made you happy" she said and i shook my head. I hate these comparisons they are nothing a like and i just wish Stef would see that.

"Never like you do, no where near like you do. You're the love of my life, babe. I know you're going through a hard time right now but I know you could never hurt me, or the kids for that matter." i said kissing her.

"How can you know that?" she asked.

"Because for nineteen years i've shared a house with you, a bed. We have had kids and built a life... together. I wouldn't do that with you if for even a second i doubted who i know you too be. Which is a kind, loving, stubborn as hell, passionate person who looks really good in those jeans…" i said checking her out and she laughed.

"Oh good i'm glad i'm here for your entertainment" she joked and i kissed her passionately. I'm sures going to put the brakes on unfortunately. The longer this her not feeling it due too whatever is going on goes on for the more i want her. This better end soon.

**Let me know what you think and feel free to make predictions.**


	44. Chapter 44

Stef

What's wrong with me? I have Lena trying too get me too have sex with her and I keep freezing up. I can tell she's frustrated. I don't know what's stopping me, I mean we have been together for nineteen years and now i'm having a problem with having sex with her. It makes no sense.

Despite the amount of kids we have this is the longest we have gone without having sex and the first time it's because one of us was having a problem of some sort.

"Sorry" i offered lamely. She shook her head.

"No don't worry about it. I shouldn't be trying too rush you" she responded getting out of bed and changing into pajamas.

"My therapist thinks I might be having the nightmares because of some supressed memory" she said getting my attention.

"Oh well what did she say she's going too do about that?" i asked changing into pajamas myself. Suppressed memory? What can be worse than what she already has happened that she would suppress it?

"Well she says we are going too try and see if she can figure it out though my nightmares but it doesn't look promising…" she said. I can't tell where she's going with this.

"What would she do if she can't…" i said and she interrupted me.

"She wants too try hypnosis…" she said trailing off. I can tell she's not exactly thrilled at the idea. I think she's afraid of what will happen once she's not in control, can't blame her i would be.

"Do you want too do that?" i asked crawling back into bed.

"Not really but if it's the last option too stopping these nightmares than i guess i don't have much of a choice" she said getting into her side and sighing.

"You have a choice when it comes too being put under hypnosis" i said surprised her therapist wouldn't explain that.

"No of course i have a choice i mean i want them too stop so i guess i should do what i need too do too get them too stop" she said and i nodded.

"Ok well what does she say she think the dreams are about?" i asked as she leaned her head against my shoulder.

"She said nothing specific just the obvious anxiety dreams" she said.

"Well what are the dreams?" i asked remembering that she didn't tell me what the nightmare is.

Sighing she said, "I keep having a dream that i wake up and she's sleep next too me. I hate it i want too wake up with you sleeping next too me"

"You always will" I reminded her.

"I know but it feels so real." she complained.

"Well what ever the therapist thinks is best too do we will do, i'll be with you" i said hoping i'm allowed too be there with her if she would have too do hypnosis.

Lena

I'm not the only one who needs therapy in this relationship. I'm worried about Stef, she's not herself. She seems really depressed and with all these 'am i a bad person?' questions she needs too talk about it. This little mid-life crisis she's going though is getting too be a serious problem. Mike told me how she debated confessing too attempted murder of Alisha which is just crazy. If she did that she would have gotten at least 20 years, we would probably have grandchildren by than. She was planning on throwing that all away, for what a crime she's not guilty of.

"I don't need therapy" she argued.

"Wow when i tried too claim that i was practically I forced" i pointed out and she glared at me.

"Because you needed it" she argued as if she doesn't.

"You need it"

"You were having nightmares every night, Lena. You would wake up every night crying and scared. You obviously needed it" she argued.

"You almost sent yourself too jail on a false claim of attempted murder too keep you're family safe from an imaginary evil alter ego or something." i argued back and she sighed.

"Yeah I know about that. Do you really think you can talk about going too jail permanently and not have me hear about it?" i asked and she groaned.

"No I'm just annoyed i told him something in confidence and he blabbed" she said. So she actually didn't want me too know about that.

"He was worried about you and you shouldn't be keeping secrets from me" i said and she looked down knowing she's in trouble.

"Ok i'm sorry i shouldn't have done that." she apologized but it sounded rehearsed.

"Wow way too sound sincere…" i said annoyed.

"I am sorry. I just don't see why i need therapy" she said and i gave her a 'really, you have got too be kidding me' look.

"Really? You are worrying me with how you're viewing yourself right now" i said and she didn't make eye contact.

"I thought maybe you going too jail temporarily would make you realize that you're not one of them. That you're not like those people" i said and she looked up at me mad.

Stef

'Not one them, those people' really? So now she's discriminating against them.

"Those people?" i asked and she gave me a confused look.

"You know what i mean" she said once realizing i was taking offense too her statement.

"Yeah i know what you mean" i said bitterly. I never thought i would be standing up for them but if my time there did me any good it was teaching me that they aren't just bad people. They were good people who got into bad situations, made bad decisions. Got too a point in there lifes that they couldn't control anything so they did what they had too do too survive. There not bad people, just did some bad things, but it doesn't mean they are any less of a person.

"Stef?" she asked confused.

"There not bad people, not all of them at least. They got into a bad situation and made bad choices but it doesn't mean they are bad. Maybe it's time for you too face that i am 'one of them'." i said pissed off.

Lena

I wasn't expecting Stef too take offense too it. She's loyal, through, if she made friends in jail she will always defend them and prisoners in general even if something bad happen there. It takes a lot for her too get mad enough at someone too loss loyalty too them.

"I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean too insult you or the people you met in there. I'm just saying that you don't belong there." i said.

"I wasn't expecting too make friends in there either but there not all bad people" she said avoiding the topic of her believing she's a bad person.

"You're right, and i'm sorry. Can you just think about getting therapy, and not me think about it like actually think about it." i said trying too lighten the conversation.

"Yeah i'll think about it" she said.

**Ok short chapter and sorry about the wait, i have been slacking. I'm not sure how many chapter this will be, i still have a few more major plot points too wrap up. So it might be longer than 50 chapters.**


	45. Chapter 45

Lena

Today is the day i'm going to have to make a decision on whether i want to do hypnosis or not. The idea scares me too be honest. Not having control, my subconscious has already proven it likes to torture me with memories from the past and all. I know thats what she's looking for but still.

"Should I do it?" i asked Stef who is grilling up some hamburgers for the kids.

"Well that depends" she said not looking at me.

"On what?" i asked and she looked over at me.

"The end of the question" she said and i rolled my eyes.

"I thought you were a psychic" i pointed out thinking back too that day on the beach after she got out.

"I am but i'm using it see how this future guy cures cancer, I would like to discover it before him. He's kind of an ass, doesn't deserve it." she said and i just shook my head.

"Ok whatever you say" i said sarcastically.

"When i cure cancer you will owe me a huge apology" she said and i laughed.

"Babe if you cure cancer you will get a whole lot more than an apology" i said winking at her and she laughed.

"Well better get started on that than" she joked and i laughed.  
"Yeah probably but first you need to answer the question" i said and she laughed.

"Do you want to do the hypnosis?" she asked back and i smiled at her.

"Oh hey you are a psychic" i teased and she rolled her eyes.

"Yes i am, it's about time you don't undermine my skills" she said and i just gave her the look of 'really, Stef.'

"I don't know if i want to do it" i said getting back to the original topic of the conversation.

"Than don't" she said and i just shake my head at her.

"I know i'm a genius and everyone will see it when i cure cancer" she said fake excitedly like she's actually on the verge of solving this world problem.

"Yeah good luck with that… i don't know i feel like it's the only way to stop them" i said and she took the hamburgers off the grill and put them on a plate. She walked over to me and sat down next to me.

"Honey if you decide to do it i will be there for you and if you don't than we will figure out another way of stopping them. Either way we are in this together" she said kissing my cheek.

Stef

I didn't recognize the number calling me and normally i don't pick up when thats the case but i decided too this time for whatever reason.

"Hello?" i said.

"An inmate from San Diegos women's correctional facility is attempting to call you, to accept press one" the automatic voice said. It's weird to hear that on the other side of the prison gate. Who is trying to contact me and why?

Curiosity getting the best of me i accepted despite the possibility it's one of Alishas minions.

"Hey blondie" the familiar voice said and i started laughing. Silencer?

"How did you get this number?" i asked happy to talk to her.

"Oh you know screwed Johnson" she said and i rolled my eyes. Of course she had sex with the security guard to get my number.

"Silencer" i said and she laughed.

"Oh shut up. So guess what" she said excitedly.

"What?"

"They are looking over my case which means i might get out on parole" she said and i was happy for her.

"Thats great, i'm excited for you. So they looked past how many counts of lesbian activity?" i asked and Jesus who came down for a snack gave me a weird look.

"Hey i never got caught and it's prison everyone is gay here" she said and i laughed. She's right a lot of straight woman end up having sex with other inmates either for protection, too get a prison wife, or because they say hell with it i'm in here for so long i'm at least getting laid while in here.

"True shower time is the worse" i complained and she laughed.

"Yeah soon there just start filming lesbian porn here" she said and i laughed.

"Oh that would be interesting." i said and she laughed.

"Yeah that will be great, maybe i'll get on tv. Anyways i have to go" she said.

"Ok bye" i said.

"Tiger told me to tell you she misses you the new girl is annoying" she said and i laughed.

"Well glad she misses me"

"Yeah well i have to go… oh and blondie" she said and hesitated.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda miss you too" she said. "You're kind of hot"

"Oh wow be careful there you almost sounded sincere" i warned her jokingly.

"I miss you both now go before you get in trouble" i said and she hung up.

"Who were you talking too?" he asked giving me a confused look.  
"Oh… did i tell you about silencer from jail" i asked and he still had that look like 'you were actually talking too you're jail friend?'

"Yeah?"

"Well it was her, we just caught up you know" i said.

"How did she get your number?"

"Oh i gave it too her in prison so she can get a hold of me once she gets out" i lied. Yeah that works.

Lena

I looked at the contract and sighed. Do i do it? Yes i need to figure this out. I signed my name at the bottom of the consent form and just hope this goes well. In a week i'm going to be hypnotized and who knows what is going to happen. Stef walked into my home office and i smiled at her.

"Hey am i cooking dinner?" she asked and i looked at the time, it's almost six.

"Oh crap lost track of time." i said.

"It's ok i'll just grill up some chicken or burgers and make a salad." she said and i gave her an appreciative smile. I don't really feel like cooking and someone else cooking dinner for me sounds great.

"Thank you" i said looking back down at the paper.

"What's that?" she asked walking behind me.

"The consent form saying i agree too being hypnotised" i said handing it to her and she looked at the bottom.

"So you're doing it?" she asked and i nodded.

"Yeah i need the nightmares too stop and if there is something that happened that i don't know about i need to know… besides you'll be there" i said the last part as a question and she kissed me.

"Of course i will."

"Good i just need to put this behind me so i can put it in the past and move on" i said and she smiled at me.

"Well i'm proud of you" she said.

Stef

I kissed her and she wrapped her arms around my waist and my hand went in her hair. She went to pull my shirt up and i paused. Really? What the hell is wrong with me?

"Ignore it" i said and continued kissing her. She started to pull up my shirt and i paused again.

"Ok you don't want to do this" she said and i sighed.

"No i do thats the problem" i said and she sat down on the bed.

"What's causing it? Is this about you feeling guilty over what happened with Alisha?" she asked and i sat down next to her.

"No… i don't know. I really do want to have sex with you, i don't know what's wrong with me." i said not making eye contact.

"Nothings wrong with you we just need to figure out what's making you uncomfortable. What can i do too make you more comfortable?" she asked looking at me but i just kept looking down.

"Stop having this conversation" i offered and she shook her head.

"Honey you don't have too get all awkward every time i bring up sex we have been doing it for almost twenty years." she said and i sighed.

"I know i just feel like i let you down." i said and she sighed.

"No honey…its ok we will get over this and you're not letting me down. Everyone has rough patches" she said rubbing my back.

"You haven't." i argued and she groaned.

"Ok you are being really hard on yourself" she said and i focused my attention back on my hands in my lap.

"It's been almost four months" i told her and she shook her head.

"There's nothing wrong with you. We will figure it out" she said confidently. I hope she's right.

**Let me know what you think by reviewing.**


	46. Chapter 46

Lena

I haven't talked too Jenna in a while but we decided to go out for lunch too catch up. She says we need too since i have 'a good drama filled tv show worth of drama' going on that i need to catch her up on.

"So everything thats going on, it's crazy" she said and i laughed.

"Yeah i'm just glad that Stef is alive and out of jail and Alisha is not alive to terrorize me anymore." i said and she nodded.

"Yeah i was so surprised when i heard she went to jail. It's terrible it was obviously self defense" she said looking at the menu.

"Yeah i know but unfortunately not everyone sees it that way"

"Thats stupid. Anyways so now what's the drama?" she asked.

"Well lets see, i'll list them for you…" i started to complain.

"That bad" she commented.

"Yep… ok lets see. Stef was choked in jail and now is afraid of people touching her neck…." i continued and she looked at me shocked.

"What really?"

"Yeah by someone who pretended to be part of her 'prison family' but was actually one of Alishas minions… oh and it's gets worse she was choked in the shower" i said and she just gave me a look of 'oh thats just wrong'.

"What's wrong with people, thats inhuman." she said and i gave her a look of 'i know'.

"I know, i feel so bad for her and she's refusing to see someone" i said.

"Do you think she needs it?"

"Yeah she's not herself. She feels so guilty about what she did too Alisha, like almost confessed to it being a murder attempt even when it wasn't because she thinks the threat to us" i said and she gave me another shock face.

"She also keeps putting the brakes on, you know" i said and she shook her head.

"She's stressed it happens" she said.

"I know but i can't help wondering if she's not attracted to me anymore…." i said and she shook her head.

"Oh relax, you're still hot. She's just stressed is all i'm sure." she said.

"I just don't understand what's going on. Is it still her feeling guilty about Alisha?" i asked trying to figure out what's going though her head.

"I think you're missing the obvious, Lena. The last time she was naked in front of someone she almost died. It's not you i'm sure… it's probably just her feeling vulnerable. She's probably not exactly ready to jump into bed with someone right now, even if it is her wife. " she pointed out and i felt like slapping myself. It's so simple i didn't even think of it. She was choked in the shower thats traumatic no wonder she's afraid to be naked in front of me.

"God i'm so stupid" i said.

Stef

I let the water hit my face and tried to let it calm me. It's been a long day and i just want too not think about it anymore. I know tomorrow will be more dramatic because Lena has her hypnosis. I know she's dreading it but hopefully it doesn't go too bad.

The bathroom door opened and then closed.

"Hello?" i asked a little panicked. One close encounter with death in the shower is enough.

"It's just me, babe" Lena said and i sighed of relief.

"Can i join you?" she asked and bit my lip unsure what to say. Ok how do i say no without sounding mean?

"Oh um…" i hesitated and she pulled back the shower curtain a little bit and got in. I felt my breath get caught in my lungs and i can feel the panic attack hit me full force.

"Baby it's ok" she said wrapping her arms around my waist.

"You're safe" she said but i don't feel safe. I need to leave, i need to get out of here.

"I know what happened in the shower was you're last real time naked in front of anyone, of course you are going too freaked out." she said whispering in my ear.

"I need too…"

"It's ok, i'm here" she said as if thats not the entire problem.

"We are going to get through this together." she said turning me so i was facing her.

"I love you and i could never ever do anything to hurt you, you're safe with me" she said and i know what she's saying is true i just have to get out of here.

Lena

Ok so this might be really mean of me but lets consider it tough love. She needs to see that she's safe with me and doesn't have to worry about being naked with me. What better way of doing it than to go back too what caused it in the first place and cure it from it's roots.

I can see that she's panicking and i feel bad but i need to keep her from living in fear of this all her life.

"It's ok" i attempted to reassure her and let go of her. She took a step back and tried to calm her breathing but she stepped into the water making it harder. I watched as she subconsciously rubbed her neck. I kept my eyes on her face, avoiding looking at her neck or her naked body in an attempt to make her feel violated. Married to her or not i'm not the type of lesbian too check girls out when i know they don't want me too (even if they don't understand that i'm checking them out). I have too much respect for girls too do that, also when it came too middle school or high school gym class i had to go out of my way to not look at them in the locker room for fear it might end badly for me.

"I want you to know that i would never do anything to hurt you. What happened that day will never happen again, ok?" i said and she was starting to calm down abit. She met my eyes and i could see all the pain, sadness, fear, all of it and it broke my heart.

"Come here" i said opening my arms and she hugged me. My one hand went too her wet still slightly shampooed hair and i kissed her passionately. I turned her around and gently pinned her against the wall. I kept kissing her and she kept kissing me back. It was worth the wait, definitely.

Stef

I laid in bed after just having sex with Lena multiple times, we were both really in need of it. She looked over at me and wrapped her arms around me.

"You ok?" she asked kissing my cheek. I started crying about half way through, i tried to hide it but it didn't work.

"Yeah" i said smiling at her. I do feel a lot better now that me and Lena have had sex. I didn't appreciate the panic attack but she helped me through it.

"What is it?" she asked rubbing my back.

"Nothing…" I replied but she gave me that 'I know something is wrong so say it' look and I caved.

"... I just missed you" I said and she smiled at me.

"I missed you to, but what's really bugging you" she asked and i sighed. I hate how well she can read me.

"I don't know it just felt normal" I said and she gave me a confused look.

"I don't know if thats good or not" she said honestly.

"It felt like it used too, like nothing happened… and yes thats good" i said and she looked relieved.

"Why wouldn't it feel like normal? We have been having sex for nineteen years" she said as if nothing has changed.

"Yeah but with everything that's happened recently don't you think it would have changed things between us?" i said and she sighed.

"Honey if it changed anything it made me love you more…." i went to protest but she ignored me and talked before i could.

"... I don't love who you think you are, because it's not you. I love who you really are, the person everyone else sees but you. The person you kind of lost faith in." she said kissing my cheek and getting out of bed.

'i don't love who you think you are, because it's not you' rang in my ears.

'Trust me get out of here when you can, because she needs you' Tigers words replayed in my mind.

'I don't know if it makes us bad but you don't seem like the type of person who could ever hurt you're family. Get out and be a better person than me' Maybe i was wrong about me. It just is hard to believe someone who wanted someone to die and was going to kill them is a good person. All my life i wanted to grow up and help people and was under the believe that there were two types of people in the world, good and bad. I know now it isn't that easy, it's way more complicated than that. Going to jail only made me realize that more but it's still hard to grasp that some can still be good after that.

**OK I NEED HELP NEXT CHAPTER IS LENAS HYPNOSIS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE HER SUPRESSED MEMORY TO BE, please review and give me ideas. **


	47. Chapter 47

Lena

Well today I have my appointment and I haven't dreaded something so much since I came out too my parents at seventeen. I know Stef is going to be there but i'm still so nervous.

"Honey it's going to be ok" she said handing me a cup of coffee. I smiled at her and took a sip of the coffee.

"Hey what's for breakfast?" Jesus asked coming downstairs.

"Cereal" Stef answered and he sighed.

"Fine"

"Are your siblings looking alive?" I asked and he laughed.

"Not really but there moving" he said.

"Thats good enough."

"You are walking today" Stef reminded him and then called up to the other children too hurry up.

"Mariana is hogging the bathroom" Callie complained.

"Use ours" she yelled back up.

"Why do we have to walk?" Jesus asked making himself some cereal.

"Mama has her appointment at nine, she's not going into until after" she reminded him and he nodded.

"Thats right she gets hypnotized, can they get her to do embarrassing things" he said and i shot him the look.

"No but i'll figure out how to do it and make you do embarrassing things in front of your friends" i threatened and he rolled his eyes.

"Stop teasing your mom" Stef ordered him as Jude came downstairs.

"Cereal" mom said before the question left his mouth and i laughed.

Once the kids have left for school we had a little bit of time to be together before we had to go.

"You ok?" she asked sitting next to me.  
"Yeah just a little nervous" i answered.

"I'll be there and if you do do something embarrassing i promise to only tease you moderately." she said and i rolled my eyes.

"Oh thank you, you're such a sweetheart" i joked and she laughed.

"It will be ok" she said kissing my cheek.

Stef

I can tell she's extremely nervous and i can't blame her if i was being put under i would be. I grabbed her hand from and rested it on her lap as she sat and looked out the window. Looking amused by the trees and sky fastly moving past the window as i drive her too what i'm sure she's really dreading.

"Lena Adams Foster?" her therapist asked and she looked up at her. I stood up and watched as she stood and walked over to her robot like. I shook her therapists hand and then returned it too Lenas.

"Ok so I know that this seems scary but i assure you there is no reason to be scared. Despite popular belief even under hypnosis you still do have self control, meaning if for some reason this goes horribly than you can call quits. You can pull yourself back out of it, and it's supposedly not hard." she said and i'm glad to know she won't lose complete control. I don't want it too be like one of those nightmares she struggles to wake up from.

"How do I do that?" she asked seeming relieved.

"You ground yourself, meaning you take your mind off of what's happening and back to reality. Say stuff like 'The walls are red, I can hear the air conditioner running' anything from around you in reality and you should be able to get yourself out. If you were to not be able to do that and i can see that this is getting bad than i can always bring you back myself. I assure you this will be ok" she said too Lena who nodded.

"Ok before we start are there anymore questions from either of you?" she asked.

"Uh yeah what do you think you will do to help her after this?" i asked and Lena looked over at me.

"Well that depends on what this reveals or if it even reveals anything. We will go ahead and address any issue that surfaced and deal with it as well as we can." she said and i nodded.

"Have you done this before?" Lena asked nervously. Her therapist does look really young and i was just starting to wonder the same thing.

"Oh yes sorry i should have said that already. I do have experience, even though it's not exactly a normal day on the job thing, it is still something i have done a handful of times and a few times in college too. I wouldn't be allowed to do it if i haven't done it already." she clarified and Lena sighed of relief.

"Anymore?" she asked i looked over at Lena and took her hand.

"No" Lena said and she smiled.

"Ok well what i want you to do is to follow the light with your eyes and focus all of your attention on the light" she said i felt Lena grip my hand harder. She turned off the light and turned on the machine with the moving light. I stayed quiet and watched as she did what she was instructed. It was a few minutes later when she turned the machine off. What's going on. Lena sat up and her therapist smiled at her.

"It's ok… it doesn't always work the first time. I need you to totally relax" she said and Lena nodded.

"How about i give you and Stef a moment alone" she said looking at me as if asking me to calm her.

"Alright" Lena said and she left.

"I'm trying it's just not working" she said sighing out of frustration.

"It's ok she said it herself it doesn't always work the first time." i said but i know it's because of her being nervous.

"I know but still" she said and i leaned over and kissed her.

"I love you, ok? It's going to be fine, you heard her it's very easy too get yourself out if need be" i said and she nodded.

"I know i don't know why i'm so nervous" she said as if she actually can't think of why she would be nervous. Who knows what that repressed memory is? All i know is it was probably suppressed for a reason.

"You're nervous about what you're going to figure out and it's ok, i would be if i was you. I'm nervous for you, but it's going to be ok. You have me, you have the kids, Jenna and Kelly, you're parents, we are all here for you. We are going to figure this out together, what ever it is. Ok so it's ok because i'm here alright?" i said and she kissed me.

"Ok I can do this" she said and i smiled at her. I'm honestly so proud of her for doing this, i don't know if i would be brave enough.

Lena

She sat down beside me and I smiled politely at her.

"You new working here?" she asked.

"Yeah why?"

"Just assumed you had to be, a pretty girl like you sitting all alone" she said and i laughed.

"Are you flirting with me?" i asked and she laughed.

"It depends will you flirt back?" she asked in response.

"I don't know maybe" i said not trying too be so easy because i don't want too come off desperate.

"You seeing anyone?" she asked.

"It's complicated" i said not wanting to go into details about me and Alisha.

"Oh ok, playing hard to get" she said and i smiled.

The scene changed and i was with the same girl but was in me and Alishas old apartment. She shook her head.

"Honey this isn't ok. She's hurting you" she said looking worried.

"It's not what it looks like" i denied.

"It's exactly like what it looks like. I know you don't love me back but you need to get out of this relationship. You deserve so much better than this" she said but i shook my head.

"I love her"  
"I know but you deserve so much better than this. I don't want too see you get hurt" she said and i kissed her. The door opened and my heart stopped for a second.

"What the hell is going on here?" she yelled and i pulled away.

"Nothing"

"Shut up you stupid whore." she yelled but she won't hit me when Makayla is here. She's not stupid enough to leave a witness.

"Don't talk too her like that?" Makayla yelled at her.

"You just kissed my girlfriend and you have the nerve to tell me what to do?" she shouted back.

"I shouldn't have done that but you abuse her"Makayla argued.

"Are you fucking telling people this?" she yelled at me.

"No of course not" i said honestly. I didn't tell anyone they assumed.

"I assure you I never hurt her, I might be a bitch to her sometimes but i never hurt her" she denied.

"She's always beaten up" she said.

"Yeah I don't know how she keeps hurting herself" she denied.

"I'm going to call the police" she yelled.

"Go ahead" she said confidently. We both know it won't make a difference. Multiple times my friends or parents have reported it. If i deny it than the police can't do anything.

**Ok i'm so sorry about that wait, my english teacher threw having to write 2 poems at A familiar face, Unrecognized will be up tomorrow. **


	48. Chapter 48

Stef

I have no idea what Lena saw but I can tell she's not happy about it. I pulled her into a hug and she hugged me back.

"You ok" i whispered into her ear and she nodded. I let go of her but grabbed her hand to give her some comfort.

"Are you up too telling us what you saw?" her therapist asked politely. I looked over at her too see if she was ready for this and she nodded.

"I think i might have had an affair" she admitted surprising me. An affair? Thats not like Lena at all, even in that situation.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"There's a girl there, Makayla. I forgot about that. She was in love with me but i didn't love her back" she said.

"You think you had an affair with her?" she asked.

"I don't know, i saw me kissing her. I don't know i don't think i would have had an affair" she said uncertain.  
"What else did you see?" she asked.

"Alisha walked in and saw us kissing she got mad and Makayla mentioned that she abused me and when she denied it Makayla said she would call the cops" Lena said. I sighed what i hate about domestic abuse case is the majority of the time we can't do anything about it until a few reports later (or it's too late).

"Why didn't she go too the cops?" she asked.

"She did…" i answered for Lena.

"The worst thing about working a domestic abuse case is we can't do anything unless the abuser confesses, the person being abused admits it's happening, or there's a witness that saw it happening" i said and Lena looked down.

"So this has been reported before Alisha went to jail?" she asked me more than Lena.

"Multiple times" i said and she looked over at me.

"You worked the case before meeting her?" she asked and Lena's eyes were trained on me.

"No but i heard of it. Many times actually when i was a rookie. I heard cops complain about it but i wasn't allowed to work cases like that yet." i said and she sighed.

"Why didn't you admit to it?" she asked.

"I don't know… always told myself it would stop" she said ashamed. I squeezed her hand too try calming her.

Lena

We were in the car on the way home and she looked over at me.

"You alright?" she asked me.

"She just wanted to help me, she wanted to get me out of the relationship" i said and she smiled at me.

"Yeah she wasn't the only one. You had a lot of people trying to talk some sense into you" she said and she's right. Why couldn't i see it than?

"I was so stupid" i said and she shook her head.

"No you weren't, and you're not the only one that done it. Trust me a good percent of our cases are domestic abuse" she said.

"How many go unsolved?" i asked and she looked over at me and sighed.

"Way too many" she said looking back at the road.

Stef

I picked up and was surprised when i heard the automatic message of the jail. I guess Silencer is calling me again.

"Hey blondie it's Tiger" she said and i laughed. I guess Silencer gave Tiger my number.

"Tiger?"

"Yeah I know it's a cool name. Have you eaten plenty of chocolate for me?" she asked and i laughed.

"Enough to gain five pounds" i joked but Lena did buy me some chocolate for when i got out.

"I'm sure you're still just as beautiful" she flirted and i rolled my eyes.

"I heard you're taking Silencer out when she gets out in a few days" she said.

"Just a few drinks, like I promised. How have you been?" i asked.

"Fucking great… my ex-wife came for visitation the other day" she said and i'm so happy for her. Her ex-wife was mad at her so i'm glad that might be going well again. I also noticed she's said ex, i guess she's finally coming too terms that they aren't together.

"Thats amazing."

"She's just as beautiful and she's doing better with everything that happened." she said and i smiled.

"Thats great"

"Thats all i ever wanted. She's with someone new but i knew her and she's good for her. She will keep her safe and happy. Thats all that i ever wanted for her" she said and i can just imagine the sacrifice she's making.

"Well that takes a lot to be able to do." i said and she sighed.

"I'm not doing her any good in jail, at least she's happy. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Getting on with life" i said and she laughed.

"You know what prison has taught me?" she asked.

"It taught me that everyone is guilty of something but that doesn't make them bad. I killed a man, deliberately. Maybe it was for a good reason or maybe not. All that matters is i made peace with what i'm really guilty of …. not being there for her when she really needed me. To make her happy and keep her safe and even though it's not me doing it letting her be with someone that will do that is the only way i can do what i should have done in the first place. So i guess i can't be all bad." she said and for some reason it brought tears to my eyes.

"Wow it's just amazing that you can do that."

"I have to. It's the only way she's safe. Where not that much different, you and me. What you did was to protect your wife and doing that doesn't make you a bad person. So what are you really guilty of?" she asked and then cursed herself.

"Shit i'm out of time… man that was getting deep and everything" she joked and i laughed. What are you really guilty of? What did she mean by that?

**Ok i know this is a shorter chapter but i want to end it on this note. Am i the only one who's favorite character is Tiger. I just love her story and the Stef/Tiger friendship moments. So cute, sorry that was a cute scene. Anyways let me know what you think.**


	49. Chapter 49

Stef

Once we finally got upstairs and too our room we were both ready for the day too end.

"So how was your day?" she asked taking her pajamas off and getting into bed.

"Alright guess who called me?" i said and she smiled amused.

"Hmm Elvis?" she asked jokingly and i laughed.

"Not quite… Tiger" i said and she looked at me shocked.

"How did she get your number?" she asked.

"I would assume Silencer gave it to her" i said and shook her head.

"Oh yeah i forgot Silencer called you. So what did she have to say?" she asked.

"Her ex-wife has started dating again" i said and she gave me that look of 'ouch'

"No actually she's happy about it. She claims she's happy that she's called her again. She started dating someone that Tiger knew before jail and trusts. She claims that accepting that she's with someone else is the only way she can make peace with what she's truly guilty of which is not being there for her when she really needs her." i said she looked generally shocked.

"Wow thats really mature of her." she said and i nodded in agreement.

"I know then she asked me what i'm really guilty of" i said and she gave me a look of 'and..'

"I have no idea" i said and she laughed.

"You're too good to be really guilty of something… what ever she means by that" she said and i laughed.

"Oh i don't know about that" i said and she laughed.

"No you're right you're too naughty" she flirted kissing me.

"You know it… so how was your day? We never really got to talk about it" i said and she sighed.

"I spent a lot of time today wondering why i didn't get out of that relationship sooner. Everyone was right and i just couldn't see it. I didn't understand why and then i realized something… If I went too the cops sooner than Alisha wouldn't have stabbed me and i never would have met you and we never would have had the family that we do and that makes it all worth it" she said and i smiled at her.

"I don't know do you think everything happens for reason?" she asked.

"Yeah i guess so" i said and she moved her head on my chest cuddling up.

"I love you."

"I love you to." i said kissing her forehead three times glad that became a habit.

Lena

That thursday Stefs friend Silencer was released on probation and Stef went down to get her. I could tell Stef was excited too see her friend again. Silencer will be temporarily moving in with a friend of hers until she gets herself back into normal life. Tomorrow Stef is planning on taking her out for a few drinks like she promised her she would in prison.

"This is my wife, Lena" Stef said and i shook her hand. She smiled politely at me.

"My kids Brandon, Jesus, Jude, Callie and Mariana" she said introducing them.

"So can we actually call you Silencer?" Jesus asked and i glared at him.

"Please do… i probably will not answer too my actual name by now and i don't think you're mom knows my real name" she said and Stef laughed.

"I heard it once. Besides what's my name?" Stef said turning around on her. I guess Stef wasn't kidding when she said no one knew each others real name.

"Oh i know this… it starts with an S" she said and Stef laughed.

"Don't you dare tell her" she said too all of us.

"Dang it… Sarah…" she said starting guessing.

"No…"

"Sierra"  
"No" she said as we all went to go eat.

"What is that it smells amazing" Silencer said to me.

"Oh thank you it's roast beef" i said and she got excited.

"I love roast beef I'm sure it's amazing." she said and i smiled at her.

"Well thank you it will be done in a few minutes" i told her going to check on it.

"Can i get you anything to drink?" i asked her bringing out some wine.

"You are one lucky lady" she said too Stef who laughed.

"Yes i am" she agreed smiling at me.

"Thank you" she said when i poured her a glass.

"Look at you being all respectful" Stef teased her.

"Hey my mama taught me one thing always be respectful too the woman that give you food or she might not give it too you again… she taught me that the hard way" she said laughing.

"You hear that kids" i called out to them and they rolled their eyes.

"Stefanie...aha i got it" she said too Stef who laughed.

"Now what's my name?"

"Isn't it layla or lyla…"

"Lyla" she said.

"Well it good too not have to call you silencer" i said and she laughed.  
"Yeah i'm going to have too get use too being called that again. Although i still expect you too call me Silencer and i will still call you blondie" she said too Stef.

"Oh good"

We all sat down for dinner and talked about what Lyla was planning on doing now thats she's out of jail. She said she's planning on going back to college and major in psychology and either actually become a psychologist or teach psychology at a high school level.

"Yes it was my experiment all along too see how telling you too shut up every time you talked would affect your overall communication skills but i have failed because you're not having problems" she said sadly and Stef glared at her.

"Really?"

"Maybe next time i will have to be more assertive and maybe hit them too" she said and Stef shook her head.

"I thought you were staying out of prison" Stef pointed out and she nodded.

"Oh alright i guess i'll flick them" she sighed.

"So Lena are you coming with us tomorrow?" Lyla asked me.

"Oh no it's ok you two can go and have fun" i said and she nodded.

"She does drink right?" she asked Stef.

"She's drinking right now" she pointed to my glass of wine.

"Oh right. I'll love for you too come…it could be like a girls night it will be a lot of fun" she said looking like she really wanted me to go. Stef looked over at me and i sighed.

"Oh alright i guess it will be good too get out for a bit." i agreed and she smiled.

"Awesome."

Stef

I was driving her back to her friends apartment after dinner.

"It was nice that you invited her tomorrow" I said and she smiled at me.

"She's jealous" she said shocking me.

"What?"

"You can't see it? Dude she's been glaring at us all night. Trust me she's jealous, i would suggest talking to her." she said.

"Why she have to be jealous?"

"Her wife goes to prison for two weeks and becomes friends with her roommate from jail. Come on do i really have to spell it out for you." she said and that didn't even occur to me. With everything thats going on recently i never stopped to think that she could be jealous.

"I thought inviting her would help her feel more secure." she said. "Also you should tell her i'm straight…"

"Straight? You slept with like ten women in prison" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"I slept with two, the other eight were rumors…" she started and i felt bad. I guess i shouldn't have assumed that she did sleep with all of them when i didn't hear it from her.

"... Besides everyones gay in jail. But no i am straight, yes" she said and i nodded.

"Sorry"

Lena

When Stef got home she came over to me and i smiled at her.

"Can i talk to you?" she said.

"Of course. Everything thing ok?" i asked getting concerned.

"Honey are you jealous of Silencer" she asked and i sighed.

"Lena?"  
"Maybe a little" i admitted.

"Honey we are just friends. You know that right?" she asked and i nodded.

"I know it's just something about the fact that she was your friend in jail. I mean you had to of been scared and i don't know that has to make a bond" i said and she shook her head.

"Of friendship… love nothing could ever replace the bond we have. You know that" she said and i nodded.

"I know it was stupid" i said and she smiled at me.

"Honey you never have anything to worry about. You're the only one i want, always will be. Besides apparently she's straight" she said and i laughed.

"I thought she had sex with multiple girls in prison." i asked.

"Everyones gay in jail" she said and i laughed.

"I love you" she said kissing me.

"I love you too" i said back.

**One more chapter left guys, it's kind of sad. This could have been the last chapter but there was no way i would write 49 chapters too not write a 50th one. I'm weird that way. Anyway review and let me know what you think. Last chapter will be up tomorrow and next chapter of 'familiar face' will be up either tomorrow too or wednesday.**


	50. Chapter 50

Stef- a few months later

Lena was standing at the edge of the ocean letting the water come to her feet as she watched me and the kids dive through wave after wave. I called too the kids that i'm swimming in. I swam in and went up too Lena.

"Getting in?" i asked.

"No the waters cold" she said and i smiled evilly.

"Don't you dare" she said but i splashed her before she could jump back.

"Stef" she screamed annoyed play slapping me. I went to splash her again and she moved back.

"Stop it you're getting me wet" she said laughing.

"My speciality" i said as Mariana came out from the ocean.

"Eww moms could you not." she said disgusted.

"What?" i asked innocently.

"Seriously mom" she complained.

"What i happen to splash your mom a lot." I said and she rolled her eyes.

"Why what were you thinking?" I asked and she groaned walking up too our chairs.

"Stef, you're evil" she said and i laughed.

"What i have to pick on her when i get the chance. Captain is working me too death" i complained and she laughed.

"Yeah why is that? You have like a twelve hour shift every day" she said and i shrugged.

"We are low on people, i guess. Too be honest she's trying to prove to the public that giving me my job back wasn't a mistake." i said and she sighed.

"Thats still going on?" she asked.

"Yeah but slowly people are starting to give up. Captains trying to show the public that i'm a good law-following cop that our community needs. Somehow it means more work for me" i said and she laughed.

"Well if saving a toddler from being killed by her psychotic uncle isn't enough to prove it than i don't know what is" she said and i smiled.

"I see you read the newspaper this morning" i said and she glared at me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked.

"You were asleep when i got home" i said and she shook her head.

"I always want you to wake me when you get home so i know you're safe and if you did something awesome like that go ahead and brag about it." she said.

"Alright i will" i said.

Lena

Once we got home me and Stef jumped into the shower together. Ever since the day I got into the shower with her too show her that she's safe with me our sex life has been great. We are connecting even more now than ever before. I was right if i changed anything it made us love each other more.

I kissed her pulling her closer to me. She giggled and i laughed with her. I made sure my hands didn't go too her neck, it's the only thing that hasn't changed yet and i don't think it will. She's still afraid of her neck being touched, which is understandable. I have forgotten a few times but try to remember not to touch her neck.

"You are so beautiful" she said and i smiled at her.

"Not as beautiful as you" i argued and she laughed.

Stef

Silencer took a sip of the beer and then pointed to a woman across the bar.

"Real or fake?" she asked and i laughed.

"You're terrible"

"No i'm not it's a game i happen to have a lot of skill in." she denied and i rolled my eyes.

"Fake" i said and she laughed.

"Oh no those are all natural double Ds should i send your wife a pic and ask for her confirmation" she laughed and i rolled my eyes.

"What you can't honestly tell me you think she won't be amazing at this game. Think about it she's a lesbian and she's only ever been with girls. I'm sure she's had a lot of experience with boobs" she said and i just glared at her.

"What it's true i want to know her secret too this game" she said i laughed.

"She's never even played"

"Yeah but still she's the expert. One day you two will have to go against each other" she said and i glared at her.

"Stop it. Did Tiger call you yesterday?" i asked.

"Oh yeah she got herself a real hottie" she said. "Be proud i didn't ask her what bra size she is"

"You have an obsession."

"Thats what Eric says. He claims he's never seen a straight girl like boobs so much" she said. Eric is her boyfriend who i'm sure is starting to question her sexuality. Silencer is actually straight she just has a weird obsession and for some reason thinks 'real or fake/ what cup size is she' is a real sport that should be taken very seriously.

"Where you not breast fed as a baby?" i asked and she laughed.

"No if you're not breast fed you always need something in your mouth" she said seriously. She's recently went back to college and like she said she would is majoring in psychology.

"Oh sorry" i said and she rolled her eyes.

"Did Tiger ask you the million dollar question again?" she asked and i sighed.

"Yes she keeps going on about it. What are you really guilty of? I don't know" i said and she laughed.

"Maybe she knows what you did last summer" she joked and i laughed.

"No it can't be that we destroyed all the evidence" i said and she shook her head.

"You're hilarious. Who knows what she's up to" she said and i nodded.

Lena

I can tell that deep down part of Stef still feels guilty about Alisha. I don't understand why, it's Alisha.

"Did you ever figure it out?" I asked.

"Figure what out?"  
"What you're really guilty of" i said and she groaned.

"You to?" she asked annoyed.

"You still feel guilty about it, don't you?" i asked and she sighed.

"I beat her up and watched as she was on the verge of death and part of me enjoyed it,Lena. Can you honestly tell me you want that type of person around your kids?" she said.

"You're not that type of person, Stef. You were in shock, ok. Medically diagnosed and everything. Everything everyone that testified for you said is true. So why are you having such a hard time believing it?" i said and she shook her head.

"I see it all the time, Lena. Good husband and fathers or wifes and mother's randomly snap and kill their families…. I'm sure they didn't think it would happen to them" she said and I sighed in surrender.

"Alright than have you thought about hurting me and the kids?" i asked and she looked shocked i asked her that.

"What of course not, I wouldn't…" she said and i gave her that look like 'exactly'.

"What are you really guilty of?" I asked and she shook my head.

"I don't know"

"Than you can't be too guilty" i said. "Personally Stef I think you're pulling a typical Stef move"  
"What does that mean?" she asked looking at me confused.

"Do you remember when i told you you are hard on the people you love because you think that you should have been able to protect them from themselves. The only person you are harder on is yourself and i think thats what you're doing. You hold yourself too impossible expectations" i said and she sighed.

"You have to stop doing that. Alisha was going to kill you that night. You did what you had too do, not just for yourself but for me and the kids. Because we need you. I meant what i said that day of your trial, you do what you have too too protect your family but you're not a violent person." i said and she glared at me.

"Every day you go to work and you save people. You keep people safe and arrest people who have done terrible things. You're not a bad person, Stef. You just expect the impossible from yourself." i said and she kissed me.

"Besides everything happens for a reason" i said and she laughed.

"What was the reason for that than?"  
"It brought us closer, don't you think?" i said and she smiled.  
"I love you, what do you think about some hot chocolate and a crappy movie?" she asked and i laughed.

"That sounds great" i said following her downstairs where we cuddled on the couch sipping hot chocolate and making fun of the terrible acting. If anything changed i love her more.

**Thats was the worst ending ever and i'm sorry. If you are the readers who also write you probably know what it's like to write a story and then get to the end and you're brain can't come up with anything but crap. Always happens to me. Anyways sorry for the wait it took a while too even come up with this ending. I hope you liked the story, even though this ending doesn't do it justice.**


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